Fat Acceptance is Bullshit
I’m tired of hearing people equating obesity with race, hence the discrimination.
I can’t carry my 7 year old on my back all day long and still have a good quality day. He’s 50 pounds or so. Many of you “fat acceptance” bloggers have lots more than 50 pounds on you. Stop pretending it’s okay. You are dying and some of you are killing your kids. That has me irate.
It’s got to suck to be morbidly obese. I can’t imagine laboring to get out of bed, oh, wait I can, you see I was HUGE when I was pregnant. It’s not a way to live your life.
Here’s the deal, you stop pretending that 9 year olds with man boobs are in a “phase” and I’ll do everything I can to support you in your new, life affirming lifestyle.
Because fat acceptance is kinda like cancer acceptance. You’re killing yourself and you sound like an asshole when you talk about it.
I LOVE that you said this! It is totally true!!
Katee
15 Aug 08 at 5:30 pm
Ha. Cancer acceptance.
Bigg
15 Aug 08 at 6:14 pm
Fat acceptance IS bullshit! I also believe that parents who allow their children to become obese should be required to take nutrition courses and put on parental probation until they get their start behaving like responsible parents. Just because the drug is shaped like a twinkie and a doughnut, doesn’t mean it isn’t child abuse.
Soupdiva
15 Aug 08 at 9:47 pm
Tell it like it is!
Thank you!!!
Michelle
16 Aug 08 at 12:26 pm
I don’t think any kind of acceptence is bullshit. In this town( los angeles), if not this world I think fat people put up with a lot of hurtful comments, and if they can find a way to better about their appearance, more power to them. The bullshit, to me, is that everyone is suppose to look like a runway model from the craddle to the grave.
Elise
16 Aug 08 at 4:29 pm
I respect your opinion Elise, but have to agree to disagree. There are many types of behaviors that I find unacceptable. For example: if my husband had an affair. That qualifies as not acceptable. My boss wanting a blowjob for me to get a promotion at work, yep unacceptable. My daughter wants her navel pierced. Nope, not ok with me. The meth addict wants the pin number to my atm card, not acceptable. My daughter could ask for beer and pizza for dinner every night, nope not acceptable. A normal teenage boy wants to rent a limo and take my daughter to a school dance. He has been branded unacceptable and will NOT be attending the dance with her. The gay boy in her gay/straight alliance at school will be her date. I approve of him, he is acceptable. It’s NO secret in my home, I prefer my daughter to go to prom with a gay boy. Why? Because I think she has the best chance of NOT having her night ruined with alcohol, condoms and really disappointing first time sex with a drunk teen in a cheap hotel room. She is worthy of WAY better treatment then that. The best part is, she knows she deserves better and wants a really great gay guy that LOVES to dance to take her to the prom. Prom is more fun with a guy who loves to dance! YAY! My husband thinks my idea is crazy, but I am determined to teach my daughter that she can have a blast, stay sober, stay a virgin and enjoy her high school memories forever, because they will be filled with no regrets.
Crap, I am totally off topic again………. Hang on………….. I have to refocus………………….Here we go…………….Underweight runway/fashion models are no healthier than the obese. They are just on the other end of the spectrum. I have managed to raise a child who (according to her physician) has maintained a HEALTHY body weight for the 10 plus years he has been her doctor. She is bombarded with images of women with very unhealthy body weights. What I like about our doctor, is that he asks her how SHE feels about her body weight before telling her how he views her weight from a medical standpoint. He makes sure she understands what healthy weight and hollywood weight is, and that she is a size 8 and is normal and physically fit for her age. She has ashtma now, which inhibits her desire to run, but she is active. My sister is obese, and by that I mean WAY off the charts by a lot( over 150 lbs too much). It began as the fault of my mother’s inability to appropriately deal with a sick baby/toddler. It grew into a major problem by 1st grade and has continued into adulthood. My sister is 34, never dated, no boyfriends, rents a bedroom from me in my home. Yoyo diets don’t work. She kept repeating that her metabolism was shot from years of yoyo diets. I simply had her eat a breakfast shake( filled with psyillium husk poweder, flax seed oil and fresh fruit and yogurt) instead of starbucks and lo and behold, her metabolism kicked in and she lost 20 lbs without dieting or exercise. She was pretty amazed, but not enough to change I guess, and is back to her comfy habits of binge eating after work at night, hiding away in her room.
I love my sister. I am sad that she is sad that she is unmarried, still a virgin and not living on her own at age 34. I can’t fix her. She has to make the choice. Put down the fast food and pick up some carrot sticks. I stopped purchasing soda, and would you believe my family didn’t die of thirst? Yep. My teen found out she likes herbal unsweetened iced tea, and ice water, even rice and soy milk.
I accept that my sister is obese. I love who she is on the inside. I don’t for one second accept that her eating disorder is any different than that of anorexia or bulemia. She binge eats, for a multitude of reasons.
I don’t find it acceptable that people are literally eating themselves to death and I’m not going to nod my head and pat them on the back and tell them it’s ok. Type 2 diabetes is NOT ok. I should know. I was almost 37 when my doctor told me ” you are overweight and your bloodwork says you have type 2 diabetes”. I was devastated. The big elephant in the room at my family reunions is that 4 out of 5 aunts and uncles have it, so did BOTh grandparents and 2 of my 4 great grandparents. So I took my information and prescriptions for all the testing crap I needed to check blood sugar and went on a frenzied search for how to get rid of it.
Guess what! Milk, even fat free, has just as much SUGAR as whole milk. I drank a LOT of milk with my latte’s hot or iced and thought fat free meant healthier. It didn’t. Asking for sugar free vanilla didn’t matter either, since the milk had 14 grams of sugar all by itself! I also stopped eating animals. I went vegan. Within the month, my symptoms of diabetes were gone. I am 40 lbs lighter, happier, had my knee surgery and still don’t have ANY signs of type 2. My doctor is happy also.
I KNOW my sister will either have a stroke, heart atack or get diabetes before she hits 40. Why would I ever think that’s ok? My doctor stated that diabetes is like alcoholism, once you have it you always have it. I am a “diet and exercise controlled diabetic”. Yes, he will forever monitor my blood work. But it’s been 14 months, and I haven’t had a bad test result. So I know fat, I have felt the effects, it’s NOT ACCEPTABLE to hurt yourself and expect the world to stand silently by. Amy Winehouse is a drug addict. Her family is trying to reach her, they in no way accept her addiction to be “ok”. Food can be just as destructive to the human body. You CAN love the person, without loving the addiction. Type 2 diabetes is preventable. We only get one body. I spent the first few years of my daughter’s life getting lectured by MY mom on how strict I was with food. I refused to allow my child any candy for her daily snacks. A piece of candy here or there for halloween/christmas etc. was rare. My 17 yr old WANTED a fruit bouquet instead of a big cake, but I still had cupcakes there. Mostly for the fun visual of her blowing out all the candles. But still, cake. My daughter doesn’t fill her school back pack with crap. She fills it with premade baggies of carrots and sugar snap peas and will even throw caution to the wind and throw in an apple or oranges! When Santa delivers presents to our home, he fills her sock with pomegranates and clementine oranges, NO candy. She is delighted every year when she wakes up to find her favorite fruits in her sock. What I figured out is, that sometimes our parents have good intentions, but are still fallible and make mistakes. My mother didn’t understand what I was trying to accomplish. I intentionally allowed my daughter to eat as much fruits and vegies as she wanted when she was little, praising her for trying new things, and she’ll still make brussel sprouts for lunch sometimes on weekends. I modeled healthy eating habits and she is making healthy choices on her own now without my nagging or needing my guidance. She disliked pizza until junior high. What teen hates pizza? well, mine. Loaded with carbs and cheese and fatty toppings, we didn’t eat it very often.
Why can’t we all just be truthful. If being fat was healthy and helped you live a longer, more productive happy life, we’d all be doing it. Truth is, the percent of obese adults and children gets larger every year. So do the illnesses associated with it. My high school track teacher caught me with a bag of fries at lunch one day. He threw them in the garbage can, scolded me on poor eating habits and went and bought me a half of a sandwich without mayo and an apple. I missed my fries, but it was the first time an adult had taken the time to teach me that just because it is convenient and tastes great, doesn’t mean I should eat it. Thanks Mr. Turentine. I’ve owed you that thank you for 23 years.
So now that my post has gone on forever, what I really meant to say is, yes, sometimes acceptance of inappropriate things really IS bullshit. I think that women who don’t shave their legs or arm pits are gross when they wear clothing that exposes the hairy truth. I will not accept their choice. I may not say anything to them, but I won’t be hanging out with them either. They choose not to shave, just as the obese choose not to exercise or eat in a manner that will support a longer life expectancy. We all make hundreds of choices everyday that are big and small. Choosing an apple instead of a doughnut is a positive choice. Choosing a big mac instead of a salad with a healthy dressing is a bad choice. Making bad choices consistently over time makes you fat. Choosing to park further away from the mall entrance is a good thing (exercise). Needing a handicap sign and a motorized wheelchair because your legs are no longer able to support your weight is a bad choice. See where I’m going with this? We can accept that people have food addictions, drug addictions, porn addictions, you name it, someone is addicted. I may be addicted to this blog and can’t stop typing at 2AM.
I live with the obesity issue in my home every day. I love my sister. My daughter loves her auntie. I grieve for her that she doesn’t have a guy to love her, or children to cuddle with and read bedtime stories to. She knows in her heart she is making poor choices. I can’t fix her, only she can. Do I accept her obesity and love her anyway? I love her, not her choices on exercise or eating. I offer her healthy alternatives, sometimes she humors me, sometimes she doesn’t. She picks up the fork, orders the big mac, frappacino and dips french fries in mayo(gross!). I cannot stop her. I have no more power than if she were an alcoholic. I can dump the vodka down the sink, but they’ll just go get the mouthwash. And pick up more vodka later. If you were faced with someone YOU loved who was intentionally acting in a manner that was dangerous and destructive, you would be supportive and accepting? Separating the addiction and the person is necessary when discussing this issue. If you are obese,it’s simple math. You are taking in more calories than you are burning. I don’t want to go to my sister’s funeral. I don’t like having to see the tears welling up in her eyes when she talks about all her college friends having new babies, hubbies, etc. She is robbing herself of life. Why would I ever be accepting of it? When will it be my turn to be the auntie? Too much touchy feely politically correct bullcrap is infesting our society. We are turning into sheeple. Sometimes, truth is ugly. But just because it’s hard to address, doesn’t mean we should just accept it so we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t want to see obese people in magazines wearing bikini’s. No one does. I adore Jamie Lee Curtis. She stood without makeup in her underwear to prove a point. Real women are beautiful, with wrinkles, ugly veins on legs, sagging boobs and cellulite. They don’t have to be a runway model to be beautiful. Just healthy. Seen the ads with the naked women on them? Dove pro age. Not runway skinny models. Just REAL WOMEN with REAL BODIES. Healthy. Beautiful. Obesity is unhealthy. By default, not acceptable, just ask any doctor. The new trendy copout to obesity? Gastric bypass. The next big “diet” trend to ruin the next generation of kids. Eat crap, don’t exercise, get surgery and viola!! you are not fat for 3 years. Then oops! You didn’t stop making bad choices and your fat again! more surgery? what if you die during surgery, like my 34 yr old friend who left behind 5 kids and a husband. Gastric bypass is the new cool thing to do. My sister wants to do it. She had to promise to wait until my daughter was an adult in college before she gets it done. I am hoping I can talk her out of it. I’m making her wait because losing her would devastate my daughter. My daughter does not need devastation in her senior year of high school.
Sorry Jess, for rambling on and on and on and on……. OK, it’s 2:30am now. I seriously need some sleep.
Oh, and I love the articles you are writing for the eco friendly website! I will have to send you a reusable grocery bag from our mission team fundraiser(my big idea). We are selling the coolest looking grocery bags for 3 bucks. They are burgundy with amazing 3 color graphics and say “Don’t do life alone”. We are also doing an ewaste fundraiser on the 23rd. We have 2500 grocery bags to sell. I keep praying they get delivered quickly so we can get em sold! I’d love to see more organizations selling eco friendly products to raise money instead of candybars or cookie dough.
Sorry again for rambling on and on. Crap it’s now 3am. I am leaving I promise!!!!!!!!
Soupdiva
17 Aug 08 at 3:04 am
I don’t disagree with any of the health risks to the morbidly obese. My point is only that everyone should be allowed to love themselves. It is only from that place that we can begin to take care of ourselves. I’m glad that you have been able to take care of yourself and family in such a healthy way and hope your sister will find her way soon.
P.S. My sister went to the prom with a gay friend and I too think its the only way to go. Though it won’t necessarily elliminate alcohol from the evening.
Elise
17 Aug 08 at 11:20 am
Look, as a fat guy I accept that my lifestyle is unhealthy and unattractive. I further accept that I’m the only person responsible for my actions.
That being said, I don’t understand why you have to be hurtful about it. Do you think I don’t realize I’m fat? Or is it that I don’t understand the consequences of being fat? I’m reminded of these things every day. Seriously, don’t you have better things to do than to lash out at people over the internet.
Here’s a suggestion: If you really get off being a bitch to people about the choices they’ve made in their life, why don’t you go down to the cancer ward (in person) and tease some elderly smokers? That way you get all the satisfaction of really twisting the knife and no one can call you a coward.
Fat Guy
18 Sep 08 at 11:24 am
You’ve got it all wrong.
What’s hurtful is the “fat acceptance” movement. They’re the ones who cater to your feelings. I’m catering to your health. Get up, move and eat less.
If you need help, I’d help you. If you want someone to pretend that it’s about looks I’m not your gal.
And don’t try and tell my kids that obesity doesn’t kill.
Just don’t.
Jessica Gottlieb
18 Sep 08 at 12:35 pm
Great job joining in to the ranks who aren’t buying Fat Acceptance’s cover story.
When you dig into the movement it really gets ugly. It isn’t about “acceptance” so much as glorification of obesity.
unfatblog
7 Oct 08 at 6:34 pm
Wow. Does it make you feel better about your life choices to be such a bitch?
Fat Accepter
29 Nov 08 at 7:02 pm
The problem with “fat accepters” is that they lie to themselves and others. The belief of a lot of fat people that they eat very little, has been enshrined into a movement. Nobody is a metabolic miracle who can work out 2 hours/day and eat 800 cals/day and not lose weight! Scientific studies have shown that people who claim things like that are deceiving themselves.
And they try to pretend that being fat isn’t unhealthy, and they pretend that obesity isn’t increasing, saying that it’s only been redefined too include slimmer people, which is BS.
You can try to be “fat and fit”, but the extra weight is still putting a lot of stress on your body. Fat is pro-inflammatory, too, and it’s a risk factor for many cancers, like breast cancer. I don’t know of any research that suggests that “fat and fit” people aren’t at extra risk for these cancers.
The reason for the fat acceptance movement is just that it’s very hard for people to lose weight, we are around food all the time and you have to eat to live. You can’t just quit food, you have to be always restraining yourself. And it’s a lot harder to lose weight than not to gain it in the first place. And, some people are genetically more liable to gain weight.
I like to tell people who are overweight - just get in shape to the point where you can do a hard aerobic workout for 90 minutes/day. A *hard* aerobic workout, where your heart is going 80% of max, say. At some point, it’s not possible if you do that, to stay fat.
But it’s also not fun to move a fat body around. A lot of fat people just wouldn’t work out that much because of that.
I’ve never mooed at anybody in my life and discrimination against fat people isn’t right. But the lies they tell aren’t right, they are harmful.
Laura
20 Dec 08 at 7:58 am
I take it back about a hard aerobic workout being 80% of your max heartrate, I can go indefinitely with my heartrate about 90% of max. Although that’s after training a lot, you become able to work out at higher heart rates comfortably after training.
Laura
20 Dec 08 at 9:08 am
Great read and I agree totally! Fat acceptance is total bullshit!
Kacey
31 Dec 08 at 10:32 pm