Eff You Lady: Adventures in Head Lice

Dear Myla’s Mother,

Fuck you.

I could end the letter there but I won’t. I’d like to elaborate on why you can go fuck yourself.

This house has been head lice free for almost a month. Why? Because when my daughter had them I took care of her. We stayed home for a few days to get the job done.

When your daughter had head lice you sent her to camp. How do I know this? Because my daughter told me so. Myla explained to the girls that she only had a few left.

Not. Okay.

So, Myla’s Mommy, I’d really like to let you know that I’m over you. I’ve never met you in person, and your daughter (by all accounts) is lovely. But you are on my shit list.

This time I’m using the Robi Comb. My aunt is a school nurse and recommended it.

xoxo
Jessica

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Comments 7

  1. I would be just as pissed. I am a little OCD, too, and I can’t even fathom the hysterics I will throw if (when? God forbid) they ever set foot on our boy’s head. It’s making me itch even thinking about it. Ugh.

  2. Oh for f’s sake. “A few”? What is that? And if she has herpes and had cold visible cold sores, is she all “I only have a few, it’s cool”. She should join Mensa.

  3. Pingback: Back to School Tomorrow: Head Lice Shampoo Today Happy Heads Review : Eco Child’s Play

  4. Great post. I just wish you could let loose and really speak your mind. As you read on Chicago Moms Blog, we had a lousy weekend, but this isn’t our first encounter with a lice scare. One of my sons has eczema and we have to be very careful with what we put on his skin. I’ll try your green recommendation.

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