Eff You Lady: Adventures in Head Lice


Dear Myla’s Mother,

Fuck you.

I could end the letter there but I won’t. I’d like to elaborate on why you can go fuck yourself.

This house has been head lice free for almost a month. Why? Because when my daughter had them I took care of her. We stayed home for a few days to get the job done.

When your daughter had head lice you sent her to camp. How do I know this? Because my daughter told me so. Myla explained to the girls that she only had a few left.

Not. Okay.

So, Myla’s Mommy, I’d really like to let you know that I’m over you. I’ve never met you in person, and your daughter (by all accounts) is lovely. But you are on my shit list.

This time I’m using the Robi Comb. My aunt is a school nurse and recommended it.


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7 responses to “Eff You Lady: Adventures in Head Lice”

  1. Ellen says:

    What a bitch.

    Both the “mother” and having to deal with lice again.

  2. I would be just as pissed. I am a little OCD, too, and I can’t even fathom the hysterics I will throw if (when? God forbid) they ever set foot on our boy’s head. It’s making me itch even thinking about it. Ugh.

  3. Ann says:

    Oh for f’s sake. “A few”? What is that? And if she has herpes and had cold visible cold sores, is she all “I only have a few, it’s cool”. She should join Mensa.

  4. Miche says:

    I sure wish I knew about that when my kiddos were little. When I think about the time and money spent, not to mention the tears…

  5. Kim says:

    I thought they needed a doctor’s note or something to rejoin after having lice. Or is that just at school?

  6. […] my head lice trauma. If you don’t recall, the journey begins here. Unfortunately it continued here (careful I cuss a lot). I learned a lesson, it’s a horrible […]

  7. Susan says:

    Great post. I just wish you could let loose and really speak your mind. As you read on Chicago Moms Blog, we had a lousy weekend, but this isn’t our first encounter with a lice scare. One of my sons has eczema and we have to be very careful with what we put on his skin. I’ll try your green recommendation.

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