Nate and Al’s of Beverly Hills With my Mother

It’s a relatively new blog so y’all haven’t had a chance to see one of the funniest people I know.

My Mother.

Today we had a quick bite at Nate and Al’s. It was awesome sitting next to the dick who was complaining about how his wife wanted a ton of money for rent. Divorce is hard. I know. I marveled that his $50,000 Cartier Pasha had both a moonphase dial and a diamond crusted bezel. It must be hard, because if he could afford her rent he could’a shoved some diamonds up his ass all over the 18 karat gold band as well.

I digress

Our waitress was having a day. It was awesome when we asked her if the roast beef was rare and she just walked off. After we flagged her down she rolled her eyes and took our order.

Oh, but then my mother had the gall to ask for more half sour pickles. This time we got a sigh with our eye roll.

When I asked for an extra piece of rye bread I thought she was going to have a full blown meltdown. I was literally afraid to ask for it. With all the eye rolling, foot stomping, shoulder shrugging and deep sighing I couldn’t bring myself to ask this poor woman to actually work any more. After all it was twelve thirty…

When she slammed a piece of rye down on the table my mother looked at me and said, “She’s having a very hard day.”

“I know, she’s terrible isn’t she.” I replied.

“I’m going to leave her an extra big tip.” Mom leans into the table with a conspiratorial tone, “More than I usually would.”

At which point I burst into hysterical laughter and asked, “If she tells you to go fuck yourself will you double the tip?”

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Comments 5

  1. Dude, of all the cornbeef in LA, you picked Nate and Al’s? You can skip temple and have your kids’ pics taken with Santa Claus, but I’m pretty sure your choice of deli can get you knocked out of the Jewhood all together.

  2. Canters blows. And you’re eating roast beef? Next you’ll tell me with mayo.

    For the best deli outside of NY, I’ll still swear by Brents. But–horror of all horrors–you’ll have to go deep into the Valley.

  3. Oy? Brents? Feh.

    Langer’s has the best corned beef in the LA area. But, for that, you’ll have to go into Boyle Heights, which is just plain scary altogether. Dunno about their roast beef, though.

    Canter’s is still fun to go to when you are up for the drive.

  4. Pingback: Dusting Off an Oldie: The Bitch is Mine at Jessica Gottlieb

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