It’s Good to be the X-Mas Jew

If you’re a Jew you intrinsically know the import of the Shabbat Goy. The Shabbat Goy buys your dog for a dollar and a handshake so that it can continue living in your home and eating traif. The Shabbat Goy, for another dollar, will buy all your Chametz before Pesach and sell it back to you at the end for the same dollar. The Shabbat Goy is an integral part of every Shul, and spoken about with a grin in every Jewish home. We are people of the book, and …

Feliz Navidad: And Don’t Forget The Prozac

It’s almost 10 and a little drizzly here in Los Angeles. My coffee is hot and my son sits shivering in front of the new Playstation we gave them for Chanukkah. My daughter and my husband sleep late and in a few moments I’ll wake them and ask them to get out of bed. I wont’ necessarily have something for them to do, but they should be upright with eyes open. They city is absurdly quiet and I remember just how much I hated living in rural Colorado all those …

Adolf Redux

As I lay in bed this morning I felt little feet and soft skin pressed against my calves, and some not so quiet whispering. “But Dad, won’t you ground me?” Alexander asked. “No, I’ll buy you a present.” There was a long pause while my boys both let the news sink in. “If you ever have another boy say anything bad about your sister to her your face I want you to punch him as hard as you can, right in his face. Got it? Then you come home and …