The Most Fun I Ever Had in Bed

The other night I came to bed with my iPhone. It didn’t seem particularly unusual to my husband since I often stream audiobooks or This American Life and listen to it instead of sports while I go to sleep.

It was a cold night, so I turned my back to my husband, cradled the iPhone near my gut and piled on the blankets.

“Oh, my stomach hurts.” I groaned to him.

And then I pressed this button.l1070777

And there was a farting sound.

Because he loves me, my husband ignored it.

The second time iFarted I giggled and groaned and my husband declared, “I sure hope that stops soon.”

“Honey, I’m really sorry. I think I ate something bad today.” I offered up, “Just don’t lift the covers”.

Then I laughed like a 12 year old boy hyena and pressed iFart 3 or 4 more times.

He started with a plaintive, “Honey!” and quickly escalated to, “What the fuck is the matter with you?” and, “Please go to the bathroom, I think you’re going to shit the bed.”

All the while I’m laughing and pressing and convulsing with laughter, because I think we all know that the only thing funnier than a fart, is tricking your husband.

Just as my husband was growing terribly alarmed, I pulled the phone out and showed him the app.

Honestly, it was the most fun we’ve ever had in bed.

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  1. “LOL”. What else can I say? I was stifling laughter as this post just got worse and worse. XD

    iFart must be incredibly convincing.. or you must pass some crazy gas, Jessica :P

  2. OMG, I think I scared my dog laughing so much. That is hilarious Jessica, I am emailing this to my husband at work.

  3. I seriously sat giggling like a schoolgirl at this one. It actually made me wonder for a sec if the doc downloaded the same app last night but I don’t think your app can contribute that sort of smell- yet.

  4. CTR1, US Navy


    To late; I already read it. And startled my co-worker laughing so hard! That would be an awesome joke on the ship.

  5. Too hilarious for words!

  6. I have a fart story that I shall be blogging later…but it doesn’t end as happily for all involved… ;)

  7. And this was the most fun I’ve ever had reading a post!

  8. Dying laughing!! LOL that is too funny. What is funnier though is that instead of using iFart I just do the real thing. Serious. Don’t lift the sheets!

  9. OMG! That was too funny. My husband has to read this.

  10. Cyndi

    I downloaded this app after you mentioned in a tweet that this was the only app you actually paid for. It is so worth it and I played similar tricks with my husband…although not in bed so i will steal with pride this idea ;)

  11. LOL – My sister needs this. Can I gift an app to her? Hmm…

  12. TheFinalBob

    this is stupid.

  13. Joel pulled the iFart on all of us. He laughed and laughed, and we did, too.

  14. I love this, and a guy I know may be sorry I read it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

  15. Bud

    If this is the most fun you have ever had in bed maybe you should try anal sex.

  16. Mik

    Hilarious but it wouldn’t faze my wife, she used to me farting anyway!

  17. Lucky

    Most fun you’ve ever had in bed?….I’m sorry.

  18. Sam

    its not that fun

  19. nancy

    I’m sitting here alone at 11:30 at night laughing hysterically. This is too funny and just what I needed to end the night!

  20. Teacher

    Now that you conditioned him to the I-fart, fool him tomorrow by eating brussel sprouts, onions and eggs before bed. Then do a REAL one and laugh as his expression slowly changes as he gets a whiff.

  21. Melissa

    As my husband always says Fart = Funny… That was hysterical, had me in tears.

  22. I desperately want an iPhone and my only reasoning lies in the wonder of iFart. I’m serious. And thank you.

    A side note: I made my husband download the app for his iPad, I mean I made him download that and Mahjong (I feel like I’m missing 13 letters in that) because my technology wants are relatively low.

  23. My inner child is actually a 12 year old boy. My husband is sitting next to me wondering what impossibly crude thing I have found now to laugh at hysterically, snorts included. We’ve only been married a year and a half, but he’s getting used to me. I hope.

    Now where’s my iPod? I NEED this! Haw haw haw!

  24. I literally laughed out loud at that. Awesome.

  25. HAHAHAHA That is amazing. I’m totally gonna do that!

  26. HAHAHAHA That is amazing. I’m totally gonna do that!

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