Honey, Do You Think I Have A Pretty Vagina?

You know how there’s always that one guy who likes to go to a bar, drink too much and pick a fight with the puny guy in the corner? I’m a little like that. I like to have a second glass of wine and ask my husband a question that will make him squirm.

Don’t judge me, I find it entertaining.

Last night I said to my husband, “How does my vagina look to you?”

He gave me a befuddled look I’m familiar with, and then he started checking out the ceiling (I think he worries about roof leaks). With a huge sigh, he said, “It looks like a vagina. It’s a hole with some stuff around it.”

“Right, but how does it look compared to other ones?” (this question is a little like an IQ test)

“I don’t know what other ones look like. Why are you asking me me this?” He stifled a giggle and I realized he had, in fact, passed my IQ test.

“Because I saw that labiaplasty is the number one plastic surgery. I’m wondering why.”

My husband had no answer for me. I did a quick google search on Labiaplasty and found this site, I’m adding no follow tags to it, because the thought of providing them more traffic kills me.

As far as I can tell, labiaplasty is designed to make adult women look like little girls. What does it say about the mother of a little girl when you’re busy pulling your public hair out and tucking your genitals up?  If you’re a 25 year old porn star trying to look seventeen, labiaplasty just might be for you.

I’m not against plastic surgery, not by a long shot (I’m just too afraid of pain), but I’m trying to understand what could make a woman think that she needs to “fix” her vagina, and if there is a woman physician performing this procedure.

Facebook Comments

  • http://www.theslackdaily.com the slackmistress

    Funny, I don’t see any ads for a “ball tuck” but I may be looking in the wrong place.

    I have spoken to many men about their dating woes, and not one has ever complained that she had floppy labia. But maybe it’s just an excuse for us to call something else fat.

  • Chrissy

    Yeah, I don’t understand the need for this surgery. I can see if it was to correct some sort of medical condition but for anything else … that seems like a lot of senseless pain to put yourself through. Isn’t this what that one doctor does on Dr. 90210? Dr. Matlock or something like that?? He’s always seemed a bit creepy to me.

  • http://selfishmom.com Selfish Mom

    When I have lost 50 pounds, lifted my boobs, tucked my tummy, gotten rid of all of the hair on my legs, underarms, arms, and stomach, corrected my posture, de-spidered my veins, erased my stretch marks, sandblasted my acne and chicken pox scars, and covered my gray, maybe MAYBE I will look in the mirror and say “Hmmm, I think I need voluntary surgery on my labia.” But since all of the first ones ain’t never gonna happen, not much chance of the last one!

  • http://twitter.com/AStoryIn140 Geoff Meeker

    That was something of a shock. In that photo gallery, I definitely thought the ‘before’ shots were prettier. I don’t know where these doctors get off, but I’m willing to bet they pulled wings off butterflies as children.

  • Lkkelly

    Umm, I think they call this female circumcision in many countries, and it is outlawed and barbaric. Why would people do it voluntarily?

  • http://thisisnotaheart.com littlesparrowp

    Like Chinese feet binding and Victorian corsets for the modern ages…

  • http://selfishmom.com Selfish Mom

    Lkkelly, to compare this to female circumcision is an insult to anyone who had to undergo that horrific procedure. Female circumcision’s purpose is to take away the female’s pleasure during sex, to limit her desire to cheat on her husband. It is often done with no anesthetic, dirty instruments, and of course, it’s almost always involuntary. Can’t even compare to a cosmetic procedure that is done voluntarily.

  • http://twitter.com/AStoryIn140 Geoff Meeker

    Selfish Mom is correct – female circumcision is the removal of the clitoris. Just slashed off with crude instruments. It’s too horrific to contemplate, yet it still goes on.

  • Karen S.

    I’d read about this a while ago. Isn’t it just disgusting? A friend of mine is an ob/gyn–she thinks it’s pretty horrific, too. Talk about too much money and too much time on your, uh, hands….

    I’m proud of my stretched out, floppy labia–proof positive that I’ve given birth to my two wonderful children and that I am a WOMAN, thank you very much, not a porn star or Barbie Doll (although, come to think of it, never have seen a Barbie with labia). Okay, proud to be a woman, not a prepubescent girl…

  • http://ariwriter.com Ari Herzog

    *blink*

    Is it normal for doctors to share pictures of patient body parts? There’s no identifiable mark that this vagina belongs to Sally and that one belongs to Mary, but shouldn’t the organ holder have to sign a permission sheet that body parts can be used on websites?

  • http://selfishmom.com Selfish Mom

    OK, is it just me, or does the one near the bottom with the (ouch ouch ouch!) jewelry look it’s sticking its tongue out in the “before” pic?

  • http://www.BriefEpisode.com Gib

    First, are you crazy? Your husband doesn’t need any IQ testing!

    As for being contrary, yes, that’s a better reason to ask than IQ!

    Sorry, but the photos reminded me of all other before & after shots. Obviously the women look better in the after photos because they’re wearing better make-up, got their hair redone, & spent time in a tanning bed & got better angles! It’s just not comparing apples to apples or cherries to cherries.

    I met a woman who had vaginosplasty, I think. She had it done after her last of four kids. Her husband loved the pre-motherhood feeling, & it knocked his socks off. Confidence in her skills bolstered, she soon left him.

    As for male testicular pendularity, there are men who hang low & it’s a joke amongst men as well as a greeting “how’s it hanging?” Etc.

    Women could claim the same ease verbally with their netherparts by saying “hey, girl! How’s it flapping? ”

    On the other hand, I’m sure there will be men who used to hang high as youths who will need a lift at midlife. I can see a vasectomy including a testiculaft lift & tightening, maybe even enlargement for guys who always wanted to have big balls.

  • http://anniegirl1138.wordpress.com annie

    I’d heard of this and like most things designed to restore youth it seems that it mainly preys on those who probably need more than it can offer them.

  • http://www.landfrau.blogspot.com Landfrau

    All this pussy talk, do you have nothing else to worry about?

  • http://formerlyaprildawn.blogspot.com April

    What made me squirm? “…make women look like little girls.”

  • http://icouldcrybutidonthavetime.wordpress.com amyz5

    here’s one you will love http://tinyurl.com/d2mpvx

  • http://angela.quarantinemb.com Angela

    Am I the only one who finds it odd that one of the women was worried enough about it to have the surgery, but she wasn’t so worried about it to wait until afterwards to let a piercer poke around down there?

    Anyway, I don’t spend a whole lot of time looking at my lady bits, and well, my husband doesn’t LOOK at them much either. And he doesn’t seem to have a problem with the way things, urm, work. So I think I have better things to spend my money on!

  • http://forloveorfunny.blogspot.com Lynn from For Love or Funny

    Ick!

  • joan

    Hey, we’re all sisters in the dark!

  • Diana

    I’m pretty happy with how my pussy looks. My husband doesn’t have any complaints with it either. But if other women want to get the surgery I don’t see anything wrong with it.

  • http://twitter.com/al_pal Al_Pal

    I’ve heard that large labia grip the shaft more, and can reduce male time to completion.
    So I can see how that *might* be an incentive…but dear lord, surgery? No f’ing way! :P

  • http://awholelotofnothing.net Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]

    Vaginas are ugly and so are dick/balls combos. They’re not meant to be pretty.

    blech

  • Jonathan Bell

    I don’t know about married women, but I am always shocked when I hear single women get this kind of surgery. I think it’s safe to say that if a guy gets to the point with you where he’s got a close-up of your cookie, he’s probably gonna seal the deal; regardless of whether or not you’ve had cosmetic surgery down yonder.

  • http://heatherkephart.com Heather Kephart

    You are so funny. Your poor husband! lol

    Next time ask him about anal bleaching.

  • http://www.veepveep.com veep veep

    OMG, Jessica…. Heather Kephart just commented talking about anal bleaching..

    Awwww :) Fun times at Blogher ;)

    xo

    • http://heatherkephart.com Heather Kephart

      Oops, I’d forgotten about that! LOL!

  • Elizabeth Armer

    That’s hilarious. People do random things to their bodies like “Anal Bleaching”!!

  • Elizabeth Armer

    Wow, I totally posted that comment without reading the other comments about anal bleaching. HAHA. I just heard about anal bleaching a few days ago & found it very amusing! That’s crazy.

  • Robin M

    You know, I am 51. I like being 51, I like being free from the social competition to get laid. I get laid when I want and that works for me. But this, reminds me of what I think of the fashion industry. Have you ever noticed how fashion sketches have broad shoulders and a narrow waist and non-existent hips?? This would be the build of a teenage boy. (Face palm, shock and awe!!) I am not, nor have I ever been, a teenage boy and designers who design for them don’t get my dollars. Likewise, I left puberty a long time ago. So did my vagina. I have no interest in attracting any partner that needs my vagina to look like it did when I was 12.

  • http://www.SavingQueen.com Maria

    Wow! I did not know that there was such a thing. I’ll have to put my husband to the test tonight! LOL

  • James Garcia, MD

    I believe it is every woman’s choice to do with her body what she will. I’m not a plastic surgeon, but I work in OBGYN. I have seem some pretty disturbing labias. If a woman is insecure about it and wants it to not look like such a mess, then by all means let her do as she will with her body. And in response to the person that has no idea that guys don’t like stretched out labias, your an idiot. The term roast beef curtains is one that comes to mind. No one likes them, you put up with them because you care about the person. This is sad to say, but I once broke up with a girl because of the condition her vagina was in. She was gorgeous, smart, and funny, but sexually I just couldn’t get past it. and after two months i ended it bc she had roast beef curtains down there. I am all for it, it really can save marriages.

    • David Cameron MD

      It appears that you have chosen the wrong profession, as it sounds like you have disdain for women. Let me try to understand this. You broke up with a gorgeous, smart, sexy, funny woman because of her labia? You have seen disturbing labia? You may have chosen your specialy in order just to look at a labia. You sir, have a problem.

      • mom of 3

        Thank you Dr. Cameron!!!

      • Kay

        Dr. Garcia doesn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” This is one poorly educated (or careless) doctor! Yikes!

    • http://iamlot.us Lotus / Sarcastic Mom

      I suggest you look into switching to Proctology. You’d be much more comfortable visiting with your own kind on a regular basis.

  • http://twitter.com/AStoryIn140 Geoff Meeker

    Wow! Here’s one normal North American male who has always appreciated ‘roast beef curtains’. (First time I heard that term, and I’m appalled that a doctor would use it.) I always enjoyed the diverse shapes of women’s labia – they’re all different – and actually prefer a nice ‘butterfly wing’ effect. I guess I like roast beef. And you left a “gorgeous, smart and funny” woman because of that??? Your loss, her gain, obviously.

  • http://matches.wordpress.com matches

    I looked up labiaplasty.com or whatever the site is and I have to say, I liked the before pictures better. I love pussies of all types, mostly my lover’s. A vagina is a beautiful thing, sacred. and should be treated as so.

  • teddy

    I’m sorry, But it is not to make you “look like a little girl” and the surgery is not made for porn stars.
    I don’t think you pass the IQ test of life.

    A lot of women are born with longer inner lips then outer lips. Some to the point were sitting hurts. To some it looks really ugly, and is also told by general society that its ugly. I am a 20 year old woman and I have an Innie vagina. I guess what you called a little kids vagina. Only mine is natural and has nothing to do with the amount of sexual partners I have had.

  • http://www.drmichaelgoodman.com/labiaplasty/ Jennifer West

    I don’t think an individual’s preference to undergo labiaplasty is something to be judged. It’s something that boosts a woman’s confidence, whatever age or status in life she has; just like people who undergo cosmetic surgeries and stuff. We don’t have the right to judge or question their reason why they want to have that operation – It’s their life after all, not ours.

  • Anonymous

    I had labiaplasty, and it was the best “health” decision I’ve ever made.

    It wasn’t about aesthetics for me. It was purely about physical comfort. I’m not obsessed with my looks, and I’ve never had any other types of plastic surgery.

    Running and riding a bike was extremely irritating. The inner labia are sensitive, and if they stick out, it’s distracting and uncomfortable. Even walking can be annoying until you stick the labia back in (only for them to pop out again eventually). Many women find it so annoying (I was in this camp) that they seriously consider cutting them off with scissors. I admit that the thought flashed through my mind. (By the way, to any women reading this, please don’t do that. There’s a good deal of blood that flows to that region. You can hospitalize yourself.)

    And as for the pain, well, there isn’t much pain involved with labiaplasty. You feel nothing during the procedure, which lasts about an hour. (I was on local anesthesia and therefore awake during it. I’m also squeamish. The nurse just talked to me and kept me distracted.) The recovery time is several weeks (of no sex or biking), and a couple days of no running. It’s absolutely worth it. I wish I could have had it done back when I was a teenager. It would have made playing sports a lot less annoying. (I was embarrassed, so I didn’t tell anybody about it or find out about labiaplasty until later).

    As for the focus on a pretty vagina, well, I look great down there now. Yes, people can take beauty to an unhealthy extreme, but the fact is that if your labia are abnormally large, it isn’t attractive to a lot of people. It can impact your sex life because it’s something you have to think about instead of getting lost in the moment.

  • Angel Lupez

    While there are some women who opt for labiaplasty for purely cosmetic reasons, most of the women I see at my practice (OBGYN) have either had, or have considered to have, the procedure because they have a very large inner labia that protrudes past the outer labia, which can be quite painful in some cases.

    I don’t think it’s fair to judge anybody who wants to augment their *own* body, for their *own* reasons. Especially if said augmentation is to relieve pain and suffering.

  • http://twitter.com/Bendos71 Ben Alcock

    Seriously, I couldn’t care less what they look like.

    As long as I get to see one every now and then, I’m happy.

    Happier than you could ever imagine.

    Ladies, your vaginas are BEAUTIFUL!

  • http://www.drmichaelgoodman.com/ Jennifer West

    Hehe… Your story is nice! When I read it, I can’t help myself from laughing. Well, maybe some of us think that labiplasty is just for enhancing the physical aspect for women. Actually, this treatment is also used for relieving pain and discomfort from sexual intercourse and other stuff. Some are experiencing irritation from tight pants, sports, cycling or other physical activities. This treatment may also help women to get rid of those irritations.

  • Pingback: Motherhood and Tummy Tucks()

  • prettymu

    @Ben of cures ..like you look ..you pretty lucky if you ever see a pussy ..lol  anyway i like cute pussys and not the one how looks like they got blown up with a granate ..lol

  • Jshaffer

    And the forced genital cutting of newborn males is more acceptable than an adult woman choosing body alteration for herself? Americans are such filthy sexists!

  • Lcblangdale

    I enjoy eating women out, and the simpler the vagina, the easier it is.  That being said, my generation (I’m 23), is pretty much a hairless one.  I use a trimmer on myself, and of the 52 girls I’ve slept with only two or three have had hair beyond a landing strip, and the vast majority have been shaved clean.  As with the shaving of armpits, so has gone the great bushes of the seventies. 

    And good riddance; I want to lick and fuck a vagina, not a damp mound of hair.

    Labiaplasty? I don’t know.  But if there were a surgery that would make my dick pretty, and I could afford it, I’d get it.  The simple fact is that most guys prefer a simple “man in a boat” vagina…..beef curtains are gross.  And I realy don’t think it has anything to do with age…I’ve encountered messy vaginas on young girls and pretty ones on women in their thirties.

    You don’t have to get the surgery.  Or the boob implants.  Or the collagen injections.  Or the botox.  Of the nose job.  (Etc, etc.)

    But then, you don’t have to wear makeup either.

    We may or may not be shallow, but given equal personalities and the choice, most guys will take the girl with the pretty vagina.

    • Bill Smythe

      a pretty pussy is the one that you have – period!

      While I prefer more lips (more to pleasure) some do not… it’s not much different than if you like short or tall partners.  Cutting on your most sacred of places is just silly…. and what if something goes wrong?  Remeber Hedwig and the Angry Inch?

  • Concerned Woman

    While everyone has a right to alter their body in any way they want, I think this surgery is really sad.  This says to me that our ideas about beauty are completely out of whack.  

  • Guest

    What on earth has age got to do with anything? I’m in my twenties and my inner labia are naturally almost nonexistent. Does that mean they’ll become large and will start protruding as I age? I certainly hope not…

  • Scott

    I love long labia minora!

  • Miley

    penis

  • Kyleannestewart

    You may be interested in this documentary:

    The Perfect Vagina: http://vimeo.com/4704237

    And also, in the documentary it references the work of Jamie McCartney: http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/home

  • Myniceflower39

    lol this is a wonderful article, and I feel the same way being a mother of 4 daughters I am way to busy to worry about what my vagina looks like, it still serves the same purpose as it also does even though it may not look like it used to hahaa!! Thanks for posting this, I never knew this type of plastic surgery even existed. Geezaz!

  • GuestLabia

    Women want to do it because there is so much pressure on the way their vagina looks. You get some boys/men who will see it and make nasty/rude comments. I also have over heard people at my school making fun of women with bigger labia, calling them beef curtains, hanging ham and burger bits. It seems it’s the trend to have a pre-pubescent looking vagina. I’m 15 and my labia hang out quite a lot.. some day’s it bothers me.. some day’s it doesn’t. Although i am too worried to show my bits to a boy/man incase they say something.. People need to get past this! One day it will be the trend to have large labia.. Watch!

  • Just_a_Dude

    Coming from a man here.

    I’ve not had a long list of partners, but I have seen a great deal of porn (judge me poorly if you must). I bet I’ve seen tens of thousands of vaginas (judge me if you must). Maybe, just maybe there were enough that I can count on one hand that I might find repulsive, but I can’t think of one. I’ve met more women with repulsive personalities than repulsive bodies.

    When viewing porn, I’d say I’m actually drawn more toward meaty lips and average but perky breasts. Well, I’ve seen saggier ones that are awesome too. Meaty and somewhat symmetrical is my preference on the lips. Not necessarily perfect symmetry, but close symmetry with labial folds that kind of do their own thing on each side.

    Now, beyond all that, what’s absolutely most important is that a woman seems as though she’s enjoying herself (confidence). Insecurity opposes enjoying one’s self. So if you think the shape, size, color, etc. of your vagina is putting a cramp in your sex life, you’re making it do so by thinking that it is or that it might.

    • Just_a_Dude

       Vaginas are beautiful. It sounds weird but I mean it.

  • Rotsche1

    I am not sure but I would make a guess that it’s women who make plastic surgeons multi millionaires.

    • Rotsche1

      Oh yes and I very much prefer my women circumcised—–
      much more attractive, neater and hygenic

  • http://twitter.com/MrBill01 © MrBill


    I realized he had, in fact, passed my IQ test”
    … sounds more like he paid lip service …

    • http://jessicagottlieb.com JessicaGottlieb

      Is there a difference?

      And I’m choosing to ignore the obvious (and horrible) pun.