Monthly Archives: June 2009

Now that we have this?

For the old recycling method see this.

For two days I’ve tooled around New York City in a Lexus RX 350 (mid size SUV). Yes, that’s right, for some ungawdly reason Lexus has trusted me with their luxury car. Add to this the fact that I have Never driven in New York City, and you get a recipe for disaster.

Lexus is one bold car company.

The car is pretty from the outside, the color was this fun coal-ish paint. Personally I always get white cars because I never wash my car, and the white shows it a little less. I know, I do NOT deserve a nice car with an attitude like that, but it’s the reality of my life. When the car was delivered to the hotel, three men commented on the deep rich color.

I digress. The car was stunning inside as well. The front seats are both heated and cooled and the seats are huge. I’m always a little conflicted about the size of car seats. I’ve noticed that with American cars the seats have widened to accomodate our widened seats, and it makes me a little sad. My husband though, is a good six inches taller than I, and he insists that the bigger seats make it easier for him to maneuver in and out of the car. The kids had a ton of space in the back seat, and frankly it’s nice to not have them all over each other.

I don’t have a lot to compare the RX 350 to engine wise. I drive a 2007 3 series BMW and my husband has a 5 series from 2008. This car has a ton more power than my 3 series, with a much faster drive off the line and the ride is infinitely smoother. I’m not certain that I’m looking for a smooth ride though, I’ve been in German cars a while so the ride was a very different experience. The Lexus RX 350 isn’t as fast off the line as the 5 series, but then again, it’s an SUV (albeit a small one) and about $15,000 less. I can’t compare it apples to apples with anything I’ve driven lately.

The reason I’d wanted to drive a Lexus is because my family is such fans of the Toyota Lexus brand. My Stepmother has a Prius that she loves, my Mother has a 2006 400h (hybrid) and just today my Stepfather picked up his 2010 RX450h. So, yeah, I’m part of a Lexus/Toyota family, but I’ve only been a passenger. There’s one reason we bought BMW’s. It’s a little shameful, but it’s true. When we bought our cars XM and Sirius hadn’t yet merged, and my husband and I both wanted to listen to Howard Stern. Sirius wasn’t factory installed last year, so we skipped the Lexus. To a true auto aficionado that may seem like a silly reason, well, to be perfectly frank it was silly, but sometimes I’m silly.

The trunk of the RX is huge. You can get a ton of backpacks, groceries and golf clubs in there with room to spare. The entertainment system is divine. I don’t know if our speakers were upgraded, but the sound was clear and the kids had headphones for the back seat in case you want to let them listen to their own music. There are also TV screens in the back seat. I try to not be too judgy, but I mostly fail at that. I’m not sure how I feel about TV’s and headphones in cars. I really like talking to my kids, I enjoy the interaction and I feel sad when we aren’t talking to each other, or listening to music together. I get that some parents really want these features, but I feel compelled to lecture y’all a little. Your kids are interesting, try talking to them.

I drove the Lexus from Midtown Manhattan to Long Island and back a few times, I took the Long Island Expressway and FDR Drive a number of times. I can tell you this, I have never driven on tinier, faster, or less even roads than those in New York City. It was a comfortable ride.

I kept waiting for the car to wiggle and sway like the SUV’s of my childhood, but the Lexus took the crummy roads like a champ. I was waiting for the kids to complain about being jostled, or to lose control and end up in another lane. Nope, nothing. Inside the cabin, it was like we were sitting in our living room (only cleaner).

I have to say, with a two day test drive I can’t gush about this car enough. I loved every part of it, except I wish it had been the hybrid. The fuel consumption was reasonable at about 20 MPG sitting in some hideous traffic and with me not ecodriving at all. I think with mindful driving I could get a few more miles a gallon, as I do daily here in Los Angeles.

In this house we purchase our cars for their safety ratings. The Lexus RX Series is a Top Safety Pick with the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. Everyone I love is in that car, I need it to be safe, I want it to be cozy. Safety is the trump card.

Let me tell you about the big win. I parked the Lexus in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. By. Myself. Yes, my husband was shaking and sweating and a little horrified, but with whatever sensors they’ve added to the front and rear bumpers, plus the cameras… I was able to take an SUV and park it in a teeny tiny spot within the first 50 miles of ever having driven it.

That, my friends, is a victory.

I will also give the other Mommies a tiny bit of wisdom that only another Mommy Blogger can give them. This car seats five, and five is plenty. Do not be suckered into buying a car that seats seven when you are only in posession of a family of three or four.

Why, you ask?

When the neighbor calls again just realizing that she cannot possibly get to school on time again and is wondering if just one more time you could pick up her three children, it’s really nice to be able to say.

“I would love to help you out again, but I’m at capacity.”

You can see the entire story on Whrrl if you click here.

There are bruises on my shin because the six year old next to me  fidgets and squirms. I don’t care at all, I miss my own two so much I can no longer be kind to adults. I need to get back to my kids.

I can’t stop thinking about the 140 Conference. I took so much great stuff away from it, but it’s not what you’d expect. Yes, I was in a room with all the stars of Social Media. Yes, I was on a panel with two remarkable women. No, the folks on stage did not dazzle me. The folks who dazzled me were the attendees. They were bright and eager, polite mostly*, and had more to add to the conversation than I ever could have hoped for. 

I met photographers and Moms, start ups in tech, fashion and automotive, and a whole bunch of developers. I was treated to a cocktail at the Roger Smith Hotel and everyone asked the same question.

What do you do?

I’m a Mommy Blogger.

And then they look confused, like I’m supposed to talk about leaky nipples or potty training. At times I oblige. I started a conversation with Jack Dorsey with, “My daughter is so cool that….” and, to his credit, his eyes did not roll up in his head as he feigned interest in my OhMyGawdYouAreMyRockStar rambling. Please Jack, don’t worry, I bore myself.

Sadly I also said, “you look so young, I could burp you.” Yes, I did. For the record, Jack is 32, full of grace and likely has a snapshot of me in his pocket so that he can remember whom to avoid at the next gathering.

Back to the Mommy Blogging. It is not an offensive term. It is not a demeaning term. There is no part of me that wants to be anything more than a wife and a mother. The add on things that I do, like blogging, are because I am a wife and a mother. 

What makes me shudder is when women say ,”I’m not just a mom.” 

Well, of course you aren’t. If you’re a Mom writing about motherhood, you are a mommy blogger. I cannot comprehend where the shame is in that. 

_________

*One guy got up from his seat and handed me his camera, he said, “I’ve got to take a conference call, can you take a picture of each slide?” Obviously, I said no. I’m still wondering who the self important asshat is.

Also, thanks so much to LaLaWag for the interview. You’ve always been a great resource for me, I’m just tickled pink to be there.

My husband was here working here in New York City on Thursday so I flew in with the kids Friday. We arrived early, flight was great, whatever. Showed up at the Warwick Hotel in midtown and I have decided that this is the only New York Hotel I ever need to be in. It’s service oriented, thick walls and though the rooms don’t connect, you get your own little hallway, it’s actually better for a family than most. The Warwick dazzled me in every way.

Lexus let me test drive an SUV because they are suckers so nice, and we took it to Long Island both Saturday and Sunday. I then successfully navigated a Sunday Evening LIE, some kind of Raceway along the East river (do you EVER fill potholes here?) and then I parked it successfully in the Lower East Side. Sometimes it’s the little victories.

Friday we sent the kids back to LA alone. That’s right they hopped onto an airplane by themselves for a six hour flight. Oh, and a completely unacceptable 2.5 hour delay on the tarmac. I would like to publicly thank the entire airline industry for joining together in the “it’s a safety issue” mantra. It makes it so much better when your gate attendants (or whatever they are called) are completely useless, snarky and not helpful at all. It’s fabulous when I see six of them standing around talking and they can only glance up to say “we don’t know anything”.

Twitter support rocked, but it was a little like putting whipped cream on dog shit.

We had to check out of the Warwick and move to a hotel where my husband’s next bit of work was. Ick. Just ick. Here is the list of what doesn’t work for me about the hotel. Maybe I’m a dilettante, but you be the judge. 

Wifi is expensive and unreliable
There is black grime in the shower, I asked them to clean it, they appear incapable.
The bar does not open until 5pm
The rooftop bar has a hostess that appears to be a callgirl. When I said something to the concierge downstairs she said they hear that a lot, then she shrugged.
I got stuck in the hotel elevator with drunk Texans.

The 140conf.com was amazing. I’m trying to do a recap post, but I can tell you this. The attendees were the real stars. Everyone was welcoming and inclusive and there to learn and preach a little too. It had immense value and I think Jeff Pulver ought to be commended for pulling together everyone from the obvious rockstars to the most humble of all.

It is storming and I am working on a few projects. 

Mostly I miss my kids. I just want to be with them and be not here. I think if my surroundings were a little better I’d be less miserable, but it’s entirely possible that I just miss my kids too much to enjoy myself properly.

I’m in my hotel room and my friends are at the rooftop bar drinking with the guys. Why am I not there? It is too depressing for words. When I walked in the bartender had her tank top down to there and I could practically see her areola. Rather than standing around, pretending like I care about the chatter and being distracted by a young woman’s lack of self respect, I am resting. I am tired.

Let me get a few things very clear. I love being a woman, I love that I’m a sexual being, and I know the power of a great rack. I also know that when the shirt gets a little too low, it reeks of desperation. Once you toss the shirt off, it’s time to start charging like my Twitter Friend Alexa who is a sex worker. What can I say? I like clean lines.

There are women from various lines of work at the bar networking right now. One of my old neighbors is up there and we’d like to visit. I’ll have to see her another time. I feel really badly for her, she’s a 20 something lady, trying to make it in a man’s business, and she’s in a bar trying to drum up business while a tit and ass parade is being featured by a hotel staff with neither taste nor tact.

It’s the unfriendliest place I’ve seen in years. 

There is a place for it though. The problem is that everything has a place. When a business decides that they are going to have women look seductive they may lose a certain segment (not me). When a business decides that they are going to have women looking as if they are ready to drop to their knees and blow a guy for $7.49 then they lose 51% of the population. Sadly some women still have to show up, they have to be a part of the network, it’s a dance as old as time.

I don’t have to be there. So I left.

I think that I’m more sensitive to it since I’ve noticed the tech community fold in upon itself. Recently a man who goes by the name Hoss69 (no I’m not making that up – there is someone that poorly branded) spoke at a conference and was left unmoderated to insult his entire audience starting with the women.

Why do I say starting with the women?

Men, if you think that a shot of a shaved vagina along with a message that virtually says “buy me” doesn’t assume you are a walking, breathing idiot, think again. By teaming together in a lewd attempt to demean our sisters, mothers, daughters and friends, a group of less than brilliant men has tagged you stupid, horny, gullible and mean.

It’s okay with me if you want to buy sex. 

Be clear about what it is you are buying and selling. If you are going to sell software with a shaved vagina here’s what you need to know. I will not buy it. If you are going to have a conference with speakers like these, ever again I will not buy your conference tickets.

I would urge people to put the conferences behind them, as I think everyone has learned their lessons, however there has been no apology from the speaker nor will there ever be.

Here’s the deal. If you are a conference and you are going to subject attendees to soft core porn I will personally hunt down Gloria Allred and shake that fucking Chanel suit off of her and remind her of the mission. Women went there to work, not to be humiliated. 

Men, I’m calling on you too. My expectation is that there will not be a vagina in your powerpoint unless you are an OBGYN or you are speaking at a pornography conference. My expectation is that if a woman is targeted in the audience and told that she has “drawn a cock” that the entire room will stand up and say, “no”. My expectation is that when Hoss is invited to speak at another conference, and surely he will be, that sponsors will walk away and that attendees will stay home. My expectation is that your corporate event will have everyone feeling respected. Always.

My expectation is that we all act like a bunch of girls.
Because girls are spectacular.

* Hat tips to The Queen of Spain and Sarah Evans for shining a light on the topic

** My husband gave me permission to write about this topic.