Monthly Archives: June 2009

Hey Y’all!

Can we not forget Dad? Fathers Day is June 21 so I assembled a guide to gifts you can buy Dad online.

This is not a review, merely a compilation. Much like my Mother’s Day post this is not sponsored and I have received nothing by way of compensation for this (though there were offers). If you end up trying anything here, or if you have experience with any of these products do let us all know in the comments. Mommy Bloggers love our husbands and fathers, so finding them a great gift is really important.

Three gifts stand out for me, as they embody everything I hold near and dear.

Citizen Bean has a coffee of the month club, they are sustainable and lively. I haven’t tried Citizen Bean, nor do I know anyone who has, so I can’t endorse it, but I can tell you that it’s a luxury I’d sure like to try.

New Amsterdam Gin, I have tried this, and I like it. A lot. Too much. Okay I lied, I accepted a bottle of gin for this post, but to be fair it was only $13 and my limes cost at least that much.

Anything from the Green Leaf Wood Gallery with prices from $20 to OhMyGawd there’s no recession in tech, I absolutely love to see an artisan succeed.

Gadget and Toys Dad:

USB Airplane Fan $18

Personalized Playing Cards $18

Leather Kindle 2 Case $40

All in one Lexmark Printer (home offices keep Dad home more) $149

Blackberry Music Gateway $90

Learner Dad:

Rosetta Stone Software to learn a language $259

Behind the Boys of Summer (book) $17

Wingnuts Complete Guide to Surfing (book) $18

To the End of the Earth: Our Epic Journey to the North Pole and the Legend of Peary and Henson (Hardcover)$18

Crosswords, Snacks and Books in a gift Basket $150

Food and Drink Dad:

Design your own cereal from just $5

Corzo Tequila with a Personalized label around $50

Fretzels (chocolate covered pretzels) from $15

Sports Health and Fitness Dad:

Facial Splash/toner $16

Yoga Sandals @$30

Probiotic Shave Cream $20

Birth Golf and Death Tees (warning, weird racial humor) $20

Ooh a hammock! $140

The Perfect Shave Kit $80

Calorie Counting Jump Rope $20

Fathead (these things stick sports stuff on the wall – totally mysterious to me, endorsed by my husband… whatever?) $90 ish and more

Fashion Dad:

Chrome Ambigram Money Clip $19 (looks like fun!)

Needlepoint Belts (oh so preppy!) $80

Easy Care Shirts $35 (the pictures look teriffic)

Black Rhino computer bag $60

Phenominos Key Ring $25

Today I’m not confessing, today I’m letting y’all know that the comments surrounding the Execution of Dr. George Tiller are alternately horrifying and fascinating.

When you comment here your IP address and email are recorded. Those of you who commented saying that Dr. George Tiller is a murderer and deserved to die? Well, I’ve taken the liberty of forwarding your data to the FBI.

This is domestic terrorism, and if you aren’t part of the solution you are part of the problem.

I hope you feel terrible, embarrassed and anxious. This is not your forum, there is no “free speech” here. This is my site and the decision is mine.

Oh, and the particularly vile one, you know where you compared Dr. George Tiller to Hitler? Why on earth would you do that from a workplace? I totally emailed HR. They sent me back an email saying that they don’t disclose the results of ongoing investigations.

Have a great weekend y’all!

This is my governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, smoking marijuana. This is not the only video of him getting stoned on marijuana.

Our president has smoked pot, and our past president snorted cocaine. Yet, today this came over the PR Newswire:

White House Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) Director Gil Kerlikowske spoke about the need to expand the capacity of Drug Courts as well as create new ones. “Drug Court embodies the Obama Administration’s approach to drug control, effectively combining treatment and sanctions.

Make no mistake the National Association of Drug Court Professionals is a large and well organized group. Drug Court is not free and the only reason it exists is because the sale of drugs is illegal.

If you’re afraid to travel to Mexico because of the violence, it’s probably because of the illegal drug trade. If your prisons are overcrowded, it’s probably because of the illegal drug trade. If the courts are overrun it’s because of the illegal drug trade. Neighborhood falling to shit? Drug trafficking.

Just imagine city hall being deluged with work and forms because new businesses are popping up everywhere. Imagine tax revenue increasing because marijuana is now part of a buiness model instead of a cash deal.

Imagine your child buying marijuana, because I promise you they will,  would you like it to be from behind a counter, or from a criminal?

There’s no part of our drug policy that makes sense, fiscally for the sake or public health or otherwise.

This morning there is grim news out of Washington DC. A gunman has entered the Holocaust Museum and opened fire.

This is the Holocaust Museum where my Great Grandmother’s picture is. This is the Holocaust Museum that chronicles my family’s arrival to the states in the 50′s.

I stood at the Holocaust Museum the week it opened with my Grandfather and my Aunt and I realized my aunt hadn’t covered her tattoo with a longer shirt. We saw pictures of the camps where my family lived and died from Auschwitz to Sachsenhausen to Dachau and many of the stops in between.
In the quiet of our hotel room my Aunt told me about stuffing the shells of the German Munitions, and how she found her sister, her only surviving family after America freed her.

My Grandfather came as close to tears as I’ve ever seen him, as he pointed out his mother on a ship that came to America. Our great country had enough Jews at that moment in time and the ship was returned to Germany, his mother was executed upon her return.

The Holocaust Museum has records that my children may one day want to access, and serves as a reminder to us all.

A shooting in the museum that houses my history?

I am going to vomit now.

Since my children could speak I’ve repeated the same mantra, “There’s no such thing as a good stepmother.”  Walt Disney built a film studio based on the notion that Stepmothers are evil. I know I’m right.

I also know the mantra doesn’t qualify me as a great mother, but it secures me a spot I’m desperately searching for. Martyrdom. I’m not too worried about divorce, but should I meet an untimely end, I don’t want my kids calling someone else Mom.

Yes, I’ve heard the arguments. Yes, I realize this is selfish, foolish and I’d be dead anyhow. I don’t care, and I won’t be bothered with your logic now LeaveMeAlone. If you’re looking for further proof that I’m not interested in logic, my living will clearly states that my organs are available for harvest, but not my eyes. I am terrified that the Messiah would come and I woudn’t see him.

Shut. Up. I know.

I happen to like my step mother, so I let her be my dentist and I don’t pay my bills. Now I realize that although she clearly loves my children, and quite possibly my husband, she has an evil streak that Walt Disney warned me of.

I was there for my routine cleaning and there’s all this small talk about what pretty teeth I have, and how they’re strong with good enamel and aren’t the Grandchildren cute and all… then she runs right into, “now you just call Tracy to make an appointment for your grafting and did you know the Kosher Butcher on Pico has this really great turkey…”

What? Call Tracy for WHAT? Tracy is a surgeon who specializes in grafting.

Then she draws this picture where you take a hunk of skin out of the roof of your mouth and graft it onto your receding gumline. That’s when I whisper “What the Fuck?” I whisper because my kids are there, not because I’m concerned about her other patients. I am in total meltdown.

The Stepmother then goes on to explain how it’s typical with age, and it’s really no big deal and she’s having so much fun with Jane at their sewing class. I realize at that moment, that although she is a magnificent dentist with tiny quick hands, she is still a stepmother. Much like the bitch down the street, she has called me old, and now she’s gonna get a friend in on the act to cut my mouth open.

My sweet husband’s dream will come true. I’ll be unable to speak for at least a day. It’s a good thing too, becuase I’ve got a feeling that when I walk into Tracy’s office they’re going to ask me if I’m a member of the AARP.

Photo credit wikipedia via creative commons

As I was preparing dinner my husband cautiously approached. He walked slowly as if attempting to grab a rattlesnake by surprise. Still, he smiled as he said:

HIM: Honey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this, but I didn’t want to talk about it too close to the event. You know, so please don’t take it personally.

ME: [going cold, thinking there is horrific news to be had] Uh, okay.

HIM: Well. It’s about dinner. You know, when you make pasta it’s a little rubbery.

ME: [relieved beyond belief and giggling a little, my marriage is fine] Rubbery?

HIM: Yes, it’s like you put down a bowl of rubber bands with glue on it. It used to be good, but something bad has happened to your pasta lately.

ME: It’s the same as I’ve always made it. I guess I can start buying another brand.

HIM: Honey if you want, I can buy you a pasta machine or something. Maybe that will make it better?

This ends the tale of how our favorite Italian restaurants stay in business.