I Want A Baby

07.13.09


I don’t really want to be pregnant again, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to get up at night. I know with all certainty we can’t afford a third tuition, but still

I want a baby.

Last night we had two families over and there were babies. Not like the lumps of newborn, but actual crawling, squealing, smiling, pacifier sucking baby girls. One was chubby and bald and the other had the leanness of a cruiser, but she still had the yummy creases at the knees.

There were diaper changes and some crying, but these are second children and the mothers were calm. They reminded me of the best moments with my kids. My daughter took their four year olds on walks, and my son taught them to wear a baseball glove.

My kids were the big kids, and I’m proud of them. It’s strange for me to see Jane and Alexander as the tall people in the room, the authorities. The role models.

When I looked at the babies snug in their slings or playing with baby jar lids, I realized once again, how every moment is magical. I’m trying to imagine looking back at today and thinking that my kids are little now, but it’s getting a little more difficult each week.

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23 responses to “I Want A Baby”

  1. amyz5 says:

    and if I were your house i would look at your kids and feel the same tug you are having for the babies.

    with love from your mommy forseshadowerer on the east coast.

  2. Miss Grace says:

    I’ve had serious baby fever pretty much non-stop since my son turned 3 in January.

  3. Mrs Pop says:

    Ditto.

  4. karen says:

    What MrsPop said. I’ve got hte fever too.

  5. Stephanie says:

    I could be pregnant again in a hot minute. Loved it, especially the part where I didn’t even know I was pregnant for two months. It is the rearing of children that is the hard part. After years of infertility treatment then a surprise pregnancy, I’m happy with things the way they are. I’m very pleased with the one (11-1/2 yr old) we have but could sometimes go for compliance you get from babies. Do need to admit that I have become somewhat wistful for her to be younger because she just had her first period. This is a hard milestone for me but she is completely fine with everything (hopefully all my prep work is paying off). We’ll see how we both feel in another year or two…

  6. Even tho I had 3 kids, right around the time I turned 40 I had this big yearning for another. Luckily, I was not married (or even involved) so there was no temptation to give in. I’ve talked to other women that felt this about the same time. Fortunately, this yearning passed.
    Guess you gotta wait and see if yours does…

  7. April says:

    Offer to babysit for someone! They’d appreciate it, and you’d get your baby fix.

  8. Caroline says:

    Are you sure you don’t just want to be around babies more?

  9. blooot says:

    My kids are four and five.

    And I just found out I’m having ANOTHER BABY.

    Five years after my last baby. Dear God, my brain is going to melt. I have to do diapers again. Diapers. Wipes. And a car seat.

    I don’t have room for a car seat. One of my children will have to ride on the roof.

  10. annie says:

    39 means you’d be looking at a possible collision of menopause and puberty, not to mention (but I will) the fact that retirement will collide with college fees.

    I wish often that my daughter had come earlier in my life.

  11. Out-Numbered says:

    I have one word for you: Throw up. Ok that’s two words and probably not the words I was thinking would be impactful but believe me. The grass is always greener.

  12. dadshouse says:

    The next baby I have will be a grandbaby.

    My daughter heads to college in one year… it goes by quick.

  13. Just visited a friend and her newborn, and I got it bad, real bad. Maybe it also has something to do with my birthday coming up. I get it.

  14. LizzB says:

    I’ve been momming it up for over a decade. My “last” baby will be 18 months in about 2 weeks. Every milestone she hits makes me cheer and stabs me thru the heart. It’s so bittersweet.

    Pregnancy can kiss my stretchmarked ass. I think another incubation would kill me. And adoption is so expensive and the risk of heartbreak from things not working out is too high for my my raw nerves.

    Maybe I will just steal one of those “Safe Haven” signs from the hospital and put it in my yard and hope for the best.

  15. SiT says:

    (sigh) thanks for this. I can honestly say that without a doubt I want one too! I’m seriously looking forward to being a first-time mom.

  16. Dropping Fable off at your place at 6:43am tomorrow. That’s in… seven hours. Thanks!

  17. My friend (who is 45) just found out she is pregnant – SURPRISE!! They have 4 kids already, all of whom are over 10. At first she was shocked, but now she is looking forward to the new baby.

    Who knows when “the stork” will make another appearance on our doorsteps?

  18. sherri haymond says:

    i want another one, too! just not right now. if i end up needing IVF, i’m happy to carry yours along with mine (no joke) – being preggers was the easy part for me! i’ll let you know… ;)

  19. CTR1 says:

    I’ve got a 9-month and 22-month; wanna babysit for a week? j/k

    Don’t think I could be away from them for that long. and just for the record; I think my wife was hit by the baby bug only 3 months after giving birth to the last one.

  20. Stephanie Smirnov says:

    I know what you’re talking about, and though my husband desperately wants another one, this kitchen is CLOSED. I’m 42 and completely consumed (in a good way) with my 6 year old son. Living where I do, outside NYC, there are plenty of 40-something moms like me running around with young kids; nevertheless, I can’t fathom birthing a baby at this age. Nor being the 60-year old parent of a highschool grad. Blecch.

  21. Marilynn says:

    I soooo know that feeling…my baby is now six and many of my friends have babies…*sigh*

  22. melissa says:

    my oldest are 11 and 13. my youngest is going to be 6. up until a year ago, i wanted another baby. but now, i think i’m perfectly happy flirting back at babies sitting next to me in restaurants or holding a random friends.
    because before i know it, at the rate life is flying by, i’m going to be a grandmother…
    so i’ll just wait for that.

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