Why I’m Against Gay Marriage

07.3.09

I was on the phone last night with my friend Rose who sells stuff on eBay and… well, I’ll just share our conversation with you, and you’ll see why it’s so important to uphold Prop 8 and make sure gays can not ever marry.

ROSE: It’s amazing, almost all of my customers are gay men. It’s like they’re the only ones who have any money left.

ME: It’s a deep recession. Maybe even a depression.

ROSE: But the men have the money. I guess it’s because they don’t have kids.

ME: Kids are expensive. Divorces too, they cost a fortune.

ROSE: So, if gays can marry and have kids, they’ll run out of money.

ME: I think they can already have kids.

ROSE: Oh, but they can’t adopt.

ME: Are you sure?

ROSE: Well I don’t want them to, or they won’t buy my stuff.

ME: Oh, well in that case we should be very clear and make sure there is no gay marriage…

ROSE: or else they’ll run out of money too….

ME: because if they can marry they’ll divorce and…

Well, you can see where it went from there.

So, if you care about the economy even a teeny tiny bit, you’ll see that it’s very important to keep a segment of the population disenfranchised and just a little bit segregated.

But not all the way, because that would be mean. You can still pray for them.

  • http://mamarucci.wordpress.com Rachel Ferrucci

    Very interesting- here’s a view I never thought of. I was talking to a gay guy in P-Town and he said it’s the women who have all the money because their relationships last and they sock it all away, while men break up and spend rather than save.

  • http://cheatymonkey.com Haley-O

    You are TOO funny. So true, though, isn’t it. But, they’re going to have kids with or without marriage, don’t you think? I, for the record, am totally FOR prop 8 because I’m a total gay wannabe!

  • http://wavethestick.blogspot.com Alexis

    So the reason we’re in recession too here in Canada has nothing to do with a global downturn in the economy and our ties to the US as our largest trading partner; it’s because we were careless enough to let the gays marry each other! :)

    So happy to live where I live. Pride weekend in my city (Vancouver) in a month & the parade is three blocks from my house.

    • http://JessicaGottlieb.com Jessica Gottlieb

      Yes Alexis, the reason you are in a recession is because you let gays marry. I believe The Economist has written about that extensively.

  • http://meandtheblueskies.com Preston

    Not all gay men have money. Some of us have kids and ex-wives. It’s the coupled gay men that never had children who have all the money. :)

    • http://JessicaGottlieb.com Jessica Gottlieb

      Yes, it is always the woman’s fault. *le sigh*

  • http://JessicaGottlieb.com Jessica Gottlieb

    Prop 8 in California made marriage between a man and a woman only. I think you meant you are against Prop 8, because you are kind and compassionate. :)

  • http://myjourneywithaids.wordpress.com Kenn Chaplin

    The headline threw my neck out! Happy 4th, eh?

  • http://myjourneywithaids.wordpress.com Kenn Chaplin

    The headline threw my neck out!

  • http://www.lizawashere.com/ Liza

    lol!

    I hate to break it to you, because this is an hilarious post, but gay couples in California could and still can adopt together. Prop 8 only says that they have to be unwed parents.

  • http://www.missdisgrace.com Miss Grace

    I know quite a few financially strapped gay men.

  • http://www.notjustaworkingmom.com Nicole

    You see, and I heard that we need to let gays marry because they will throw fabulous weddings and kick start this economy with all that spending. I always learn something here :)

  • http://www.notjustaworkingmom.com Nicole

    That should be “I see” – actually, not idea what I meant there :)

  • http://formerlyaprildawn.blogspot.com April

    So if we ban all marriage, then no one would go broke ina divorce again!
    Kids will always happen. I wonder how many pregnancies (in or out of wedlock) are “accidents” anyway!

  • http://anniegirl1138.wordpress.com annie

    This seems to be an XY thing. So maybe it would be okay for the economy if lesbians were allowed and gay men not? Then we are mostly fair and the recovery can kick into high gear.

  • http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/ Jack

    I am a lesbian trapped in a man’s body. Funny how 25 years ago we thought that was outrageously funny. Ah, wasted youth.

  • http://attorneyatmom.blogspot.com Caroline

    There is always a good reason to keep a segment of society disenfranchised. This makes as much sense as any other.

    ;)