Changing Doctors

12.15.09

When I was pregnant with Jane we interviewed pediatricians. While sitting in one of the offices I felt a little familiar with the pediatrician. I couldn’t quite place the face, but then he and I both realized that I had been his patient many years ago.

From my daughter’s birth in 1998, through 2005 My Pediatrician was my children’s pediatrician. The care they received was top notch. The office, was not. The office started with screeching and wait times were at a minimum an hour, sometimes more. One day, as I sat in the waiting room it dawned on me that I could change doctors. Immediately.

It wasn’t an unemotional decision. The man who had kept me in good health, the man who I’d trusted and who had cared for my children would no longer care for them. I didn’t feel good about going elsewhere. And then we got there. We got to the new pediatrician and appointments were honored, they didn’t triple book. The office was kind and not screechy. Medically it’s the same for my kids. Both places are excellent, but only in one were they kind.

When my son was five months old I finally admitted to myself noticed that his eyes were crossed. Volumes could be written, but the punch line is that he immediately started wearing glasses, each eye was patched for several hours a day, and the diagnosis was strabismus and amblyopia. After a few months it became apparent that my son required surgery. As the doctor was telling us about the surgery, I kept hearing that he had trained under Dr. Cutter (not his real name, don’t bother googling), and my husband and I decided to go directly to the source.

At ten months old and then again at 18 months old my son had surgeries on both eyes. Dr. Cutter was masterful and my son was given the gift of vision. I am forever grateful to him for that. When I think of people who have changed our families lives, I think of Dr. Cutter. My heart swells and my eyes water. That is why leaving the office is so difficult.

Dr. Cutter is working reduced hours now. Yesterday my son had an appointment with Dr. Cutter’s associate. We arrived at 3.45 for our 3.45 apointment. At 4.30 when we were still waiting I went to the desk to reschedule, and stood next to a woman who was leaving. She had been there with her two children since before 2.00 and still hadn’t been seen. I asked the office to reschedule us, we’d come back on a less busy day. They offered up February 6th.

My son turns 9 in July. You get the first 9 years to correct these problems, we can’t wait, he needs the doctor. He has one, maybe two exams left before the clock ticks and time is up. I have to take care of my son, and feeling cannot be part of the decision.

Next week we will return to the doctor we saw in Alexander’s infancy. He does less in the way of surgery, but the office is convenient and the wait times are reasonable, if at all.

I left Dr. Cutter’s office with a knot in my stomach. My son had been there weekly for the first few years of his life, and then regularly thereafter. Alexander learned to walk in those hallways and our exams went from infancy to childhood, from finding the toy to identifying the letters. We had a red glazed donut in the Doctor’s lounge after every exam where his pupils were dilated. Every time. We almost looked forward to it, Alexander and I.

My son grew up in that office, and now it’s time to leave. I find it extraordinarily painful.

Stephen Was Late So Jane Gets A Bat Mitzvah

12.14.09

Saturday afternoon I got a series of messages from Stephen Johnson, he was in Los Angeles overnight (flight was canceled), and did I want to meet up?

Yes, of course! I have a complete and utter girl crush on his wife Nanette, and I’ve been lucky enough to follow her around the interwebs for the last few years. I’ve even had glimpses of their beautiful children with streaming conferences.

So, yes, is the answer, but not Saturday night. We arranged for a Sunday lunch with Stephen, my husband and myself. At noon Mr. G. and I were at Tavern waiting for Stephen. At 12.05 we got a text message saying the cab was 10 minutes away. Great. At 12.20 the text read, “can’t get to you there is a parade”. Mr. G. and I were in the middle of a discussion, we finally got to synch our calendars, and so what should have been a red flag went unnoticed.

Tavern

My husband and I had a really great time just drinking coffee and talking about our lives, the kids, and our future. Jane is eleven and we hadn’t given much thought to a Bat Mitzvah. There are pros and cons, mostly pros, but then there’s the simple fact that Jane does not want a Bat Mitzvah. Tough. I think we’ve decided that we’ll put her in a Bat Mitzvah class with a Rabbinical student and she can study for the next 18 months. If, at the end of 18 months she still does not want a Bat Mitzvah, she will not be forced to have one. I suspect she will want to show off all her hard work.

I had a Bat Mitzvah in 1983. Although I read from the Torah all those years ago, I’m still uncomfortable seeing a woman at the bimah. I’m not against it, it’s just uncomfortable. Deciding to Bat Mitzvah your daughter is not easy for every family.

As we are having this really great talk, Stephen texts again. I realize there is no parade in Brentwood. He is at the other San Vicente Blvd. Now he is going to try to walk.

Now I’m helpless, we have to get the kids, now it’s running late and I have a terrible phone call with Stephen at 12.45 wherein I explain that we are 45 minutes from one another and I have to get to my kids. I am not going to get to see him. I urge him to take a taxi to the hotel or to enjoy the museums near him, and we’ll try again next time.

Then I have a brainstorm. The kids and I needed to get to the Help A Mother Out playdate at the Treehouse Social Club, it begins at 3, but if I hurry we can get there by 2.45 and if Stephen goes right to Beverly Hills, then he can stay for an hour, have a glass of wine (yes wine is essential at a playdate) and then take a taxi to the airport. Stephen, being the good sport that he is, said yes, so I called my friends who were organizing the playdate and said, “There’s an Aussie coming, he will not have children with him, please let him in and do not ask him for a diaper donation.”

They got the message.

And then I realized that sending Stephen in a taxi was a bad plan. If he missed his flight Nanette would fly to the states to yell at me in person. So I put out a tweet asking for a ride for Stephen. Naturally Mark Hovarth came to the rescue and Stephen was shuttled to the airport. I do believe that there will be video of the drive, as the guys hit it off.

A Strange Tour of Los Angeles

Yesterday we made lots of lemonade. I got an hour to just be with my husband. We had nothing to distract us from each other, and time with him always makes me happy. Stephen got a very strange tour of Los Angeles from mid cities to Beverly Hills to Inglewood and everything in between. Mark’s message will now travel to Australia and Nanette got her husband back in one piece.

Oh, and of course, Jane gets a Bat Mitzvah.

Lemonade.

Domestic Violence: Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren

12.12.09

Tiger Woods is a golfer. Yes, he’s a brand spokesperson, and in many ways a celebrity, but Tiger Woods is still just a golfer.

Tiger was on the Mike Douglas Show, showing off his golf swing when he was a two year old. When my children were two they were shitting their pants. Literally.

Tiger Woods was robbed of a typical childhood, and like so many superstars before him, adulthood has proven perilous (Michael Jackson, Danny Bonaduce, Dana Plato, Tatum O’Neal, Corey Feldman… really I could do this for days). What separated Tiger from the the other stars was that he was private. For a short moment we saw Tiger in nightclubs and partying, but it was a quick phase. He started a family and (seemingly) settled down in Florida.

What happens next is truly remarkable. Elin Nordegren beats her husband with a golf club, forcing him to wreck his car (and city property) and (according to tabloids) scratches and scars the man’s face.

I am not condoning cheating on your wife. I can imagine the rage one might feel.

Tiger Woods is an abused man, and Elin Nordegren is a batterer.

Why has no one addressed the fact that Elin Nordegren has beaten her husband? Why is Chris Brown’s legacy that he beat Rihanna and Elin Nordegren’s legacy that she is a victim?

Tiger Woods has asked for privacy, clearly the man is ashamed, but is he ashamed that he broke his marriage vows or is he ashamed that he’s an abused man?

When we give Elin Nordegren a pass on violent felonious behavior we hurt everyone.

Hanukkah

12.12.09

My daughter bought me earrings with giant rhinestones that hurt my ears, but I love wearing them anyhow. My son bought me a picture frame. I will put a picture of him in in shortly. My husband got a pen and a clock shaped like a movie camera. They are good kids, they take joy in giving, I love that about them.

My parents showed up with their spouses and bought my Jane most of what Abercrombie sells and Alexander enough legos to keep him happy for quite a while. There were latkes and everyone loves my kids.

It’s all sort of perfect.

Oh, except for the dead frog in my living room. More on that later.

Happy Hanukkah

12.11.09

The brisket is in the oven at a very low heat, I’m making latkes a bit later and decorating the house now.

I kinda wish I could plop some hashbrowns on a plate and call it a day. I don’t know why, but I’m exhausted.

Another Party!?

12.10.09

Yes, another party. Two in one week with one more this weekend.

December is for parties. December is also for families and gratitude. When the folks at PUR told me about their non profit arm I knew I cared. They’re bringing clean water to every child, and they’re doing it in the most natural way. The celebrities… I won’t lie, going to a party with Kenna, Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel, Zach Braff, Isabel Lucas and Samantha Ronson (and more!) is fantastic, but it makes me feel a little old. Not old in a bad way, old in a good way, a wise way. I’m excited for them, they’re at the beginning of amazing careers with the world at their feet, and they’re using their celebrity to change the world.

Really they are. Summit on the Summit is exciting. I’m going to write more about it early next week, but I’ll give you a taste.

I was talking to Dr. Greg Allgood (who really is all good) and he was telling me about an orphanage in Africa that began when a baby was discovered in a latrine. Then he was telling me about the water sources, and how mothers would have to use the same still water to feed their children that goats had defecated in. He talked about mortality rates and how HIV AIDS deaths occur with dehydration and that clean water is essential. He told me so much, but then he did something magical. He pulled a little packet out of his pocked and showed me how it would turn 10 liters of water into 10 liters of clean drinking water. Really. Dr. Allgood is looking at providing millions of liters of clean drinking water to children in developing countries. If you want to see how the PUR Packets work, check this site out. I have no idea if you can buy these (going to find out) because if you can I’m shoving a few in each car and all over the house in case of earthquake.

The party was an awful lot of fun, the real star for me was Dr. Allgood (you can follow him on twitter here) and the guys from PUR who recognize need and give without limits.

Click through for party pictures, more will be added in the coming days. A special thanks to Jeff Rago who apparently knows everyone and even took a picture with the TMZ photog (I know I know, we broke the Hollywood rule but he was so nice).

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