Some Days Are Easy Some Days You Grow

12.3.09


I’ve been to a few events recently, and they haven’t been seamless.

There have been two men at events that have one thing in common. They hated me. I met them, we shook hands (oh eww germs) and then they proceeded to insult me. I had everything from eye rolling to “why do you live there, are you broke?” I’m not kidding. Within two minutes of meeting me this man insulted me, my husband and every part of my lifestyle. I still don’t know his name. I don’t want to.

Here’s the problem, and I’m going to own this, I responded by trying to get them to like me. I stood with a tiny little angry man last night, trying to get him to like me. After a few moments I realized what I was doing. I was getting nicer and sweeter, and trying to market myself to a man who I think is horrible. It was like trying to climb an endless pile of garbage.

Why would I do that? It was a party, and the only bad part of the party was this man. What I need to do, is turn on my heel and walk away. I need to have a plan, and remember that I don’t want miserable people to like me. They’re miserable.

Repeatedly I find myself trying to please people. It’s not typically a bad thing, but pleasing a malcontent is not only impossible, it’s not something one should aim for.

There are a few more holiday parties in the next few weeks, and I’m vowing to myself that I won’t be wasting time with bullies. Not this holiday season, not ever.

Facebook Comments

11 responses to “Some Days Are Easy Some Days You Grow”

  1. amyz5 says:

    i have friend that always says you can’t argue with a sick mind. holds true with those who are miserable.

  2. Jack says:

    This is why I advocate bringing a batch of Ex-Lax brownies to holiday parties. When you meet those angry bitter people you can smile sweetly and offer them something sweet.

    If you really want to have fun you can remove all of the toilet paper from the bathroom and make them buy it back from you a square at a time. Not saying that I have ever done or seen anything like this. But I might have read about it once.

  3. Cassie says:

    This post suprised me.

    It makes me feel better to know that I am not the only lady in the world who finds myself wanting to be liked. Just walk away. I am going to try this.

  4. annie says:

    It never hurts to be sweet in the face of hostility and can even serve to piss the other person off as a plus, but once you know the way the negative wind is blowing, it’s best to excuse yourself.

  5. Actually, I kinda think that kindness is always the right answer. You were being classy, Jessica. Nothing wrong with that.

  6. trisha says:

    I am very slowly learning to never compromise who you are for the sake of someone else..no matter how hard it hurts.

    ~Trisha

  7. melissa says:

    like cassie, i’m surprised by this. i totally didn’t take you for someone who wanted to please and i don’t mean a single insulting thing by that.
    but i also completely understand. i hate the thought of someone not liking me even though, really, i don’t care. if that makes sense.

  8. Sarah says:

    I love this. And love that YOU (of all people) would write this. I wouldn’t think you were one to care – and I mean that in the nicest, most respectful way possible.

    There ‘s no room for crap in life…flush it away, one heel turn at a time.

  9. Karie says:

    I think we were always taught to “kill them with kindness” but often it’s their own self-hate and misery that will kill them. You did the right thing by being continuously polite instead doing the truly right thing and telling him to eat rat heads, piss off and walk away.

  10. Maureen says:

    Thank you so much! What a great post! I’ve been struggling to dig my reputation out from under other people’s piles of gossip for too long – but wait, I don’t like them…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *