I’m Not Saying This Happened To Me

Really, it could happen to anyone.

You could conceivably get very stoned and hide your marijuana in a really great hiding place. Then, the next day, when you are not stoned, you might forget where that really great hiding place is.

But it could be worse, because your whole upstairs might stink like weed, and your children might have had that stupid drug education class where they liken marijuana to heroin.

So you could be airing out your house on a very cold day, searching for a stash of marijuana that you can smell but you can’t see. Apparently you can hide things very well, but you can’t seal a ziploc bag.

But I’m not saying it happened to me.

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  1. I cannot begin to express how hysterical I find it that you tagged this post “mommyblogging.”

    Giggling in Wisconsin enough to shake the entire state.

  2. My mom used to hide her cigarettes in a box of tampons. And if I hadn’t run out of my own tampons, I would have never known. Oh, except maybe for the open bathroom window & stench of cigarette smoke on her clothes.
    Maybe you’ll find your stash in your feminine hygiene products. Bwahahaha!

    • I didn’t say it happened to me. I really didn’t say that.

  3. Mommy blogging would be so much more fun if people who just loosen up and smoke a joint. I’ll do my part.

  4. And all I could think was, “Doesn’t she live near L.A.? What would she know about a very cold day?” Glad you didn’t have to spend the day freezing in, what 60 degree weather?

  5. i’d light one up with maggie, jill, and you while reading this post aloud by a bonfire. (and i’ve never even smoked ANYTHING before, marijuana or otherwise.)

    now THAT’S LOVE.

  6. Damn! That musta been some good weed!

  7. I have a nose like a hound, I’ll come over and find it for ya ;) or, I mean find it for whoever lost it, wink wink.

    The part that’s really cracking me up is about your kids likening it to heroin because of school…when I was a youngster and D.A.R.E. and Just Say No were all the rage, my parents nearly moved us to another country…like Amsterdamn, or something, as they were sure we would turn them in. Love how the government turned (or tried to turn) kids on their parents. Don’t cha just love that? {sarcasm entered here}

  8. Annie

    Not that this happened, but theoretically, if it did – you would definitely be in the market for a pouch/clutch apparatus with a zipper. A discrete, feminine pouch… you know, for credit cards, tampons and the like ;)

    • Not that this happened, but it could have been hidden in the ski clothes. And really, if it happened, that would have been stupid.

  9. I am not saying this happened, but if it did, and then your child(ren) found it for you, you could do what might have happened with a Mom I might know and say, “I’m just not ready for this conversation” even though you have always been a super-straight shooter with your ‘tween. I am just saying that’s something you could theoretically do if it were theoretically to happen to you.

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