My iPhone is Currently In Use At The Sheraton Hotel Universal City: It Is Not Me

You know how my iPhone is missing? Well, I didn’t disconnect it, because I thought one of two things would happen:

  • Someone would find it and return it to me
  • I would find it wedged between a sofa cushion

Well, that didn’t happen. The last time I used my iPhone I was on my way to the Sheraton in Universal City, California. I called my friend Jeannie and we had a lovely discussion. Then I parked the car with the valet and ran into a lobby meeting with my friend MeMe. I had a great time meeting with MeMe, and it’s possible that I left my iPhone behind, or that it was stolen. I do not know if the phone was pick pocketed or lost. What I do know is what happened next.

Thursday morning I realized I had only one cellphone so I called my iPhone to see if it was working. It was. Next I checked with to see if it had been used, it hadn’t. So I continued looking for it. I called security at the Sheraton in Universal City twice daily from Thursday until Tuesday. Of eight phone calls, one was returned, and I was barely acknowledged.  After a week I figured it wouldn’t show up at all.

Today, Thursday, a week and a day later I logged onto to see if my cellphone had been used. Imagine my surprise when I saw this.

Not very interesting until you note that all of a sudden I’m calling Mexico? Well, naturally I started with the first number 818.399.6109 and dialed it. The conversation went like this.

ME: Hey man, I missed your call. You at work?

HIM: Yeah, I’m up here at the Sheraton Universal.

ME: [screaming] You sack of shit motherfucker what’s your name?

HIM: Andy

ME: Andy what?

HIM: Garcia.

Duh. Okay, so my temper isn’t helpful.

I called the hotel at 818.980.1212 and Ana answered the phone at the front desk. Ana told me that there is no Manager at the hotel. This is at 5pm. I spoke to someone at the executive offices who took my information, promised to “get to the bottom of this” and then had security call me. Security is named Marcos. Marcos was not helpful. Apparently he “did an investigation” and cannot help me.

I called the Sheriff’s department and they told me it’s a felony. An iPhone is more than $400 and they will take a report and (hopefully) make an arrest.

I called Sheraton’s corporate offices, they are nonplussed and say that they have five days to respond. If I was a hotel and had a thief in my employ I’d move much faster than five days. But I don’t work at the Sheraton do I.

I’m smart enough to not stay a Sheraton. Since the car incident I absolutely refuse. Unfortunately, I will also never park at a Sheraton again, nor meet a friend or business associate for drinks.

Ooh, and I almost forgot, when I called them to ask for their help. Rather than connecting me with a hotel manager, they searched for my blog.

sheraton hotel looks for my blog but doesn't call me

Which didn’t really help me very much, but it did convince me that they probably don’t have my best interest at heart.


I know this is being read at the Sheraton Universal. I’ll be there shortly to meet with y’all. If you know who has my iPhone and you can get it back to me please text or call 818.212.0681 there is a reward, no questions asked. My offices are located at 15030 Ventura Blvd. Suite 19356, Sherman Oaks, CA 91403. You can send it there. Again, no questions asked.  I know at least one of you knows who has it, I’m giving you a chance to do the right thing. He is probably from Querretaro. How many people working at the Sheraton last night are from Querretaro?

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