Baby Boys

05.21.10


Earlier today I got to meet my friend Jennifer’s son. Jennifer’s son is seven weeks old, and eleven pounds. The has a shock of black hair, blue eyes, deliciously smooth skin and a lovely temperament. In short, he is the perfect baby. I was lucky enough to hold the baby, and give him a bottle (pumped breast milk… relax LLL).

You never forget how to hold a baby. Once you’ve rocked a baby, you know how they’re meant to fit in the crook of your arm, you remember to look at them before anyone else. Your palm fits around their thighs.

It was only after two and a half years post nursing that my breasts didn’t ache whenever a baby cried. It didn’t have to be my own.

I thought I’d spent twenty minutes at Jennifer’s house, but when I finally let go of the baby I realized it had been an hour. A full hour of simply melting and staring into tiny eyes. A full hour of suckling, jiggling, burping and relaxing. A perfect hour.

As I left the house, and hurried to pick my own two up from school it was impossible to not be lost in reverie. Jane was such an easy baby, and Alexander was too, once we got him healthy. This was the first time I’d looked at a friend’s infant, and not longed for one of my one. I love my children in ways I’d never realized I could love. I have a boy and girl, and they are extremely different relationships. It’s possible that the relationships are different because mothers and sons have a different bond than mothers and daughters. It’s also entirely possible that my relationships are different with each of my kids, because they are so very different from one another.

I’ll never know why the relationships are different. They just are, and that’s good enough for me.

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8 responses to “Baby Boys”

  1. Shari says:

    Beautiful Post! and yes you never forget how to hold a baby! I too melt away every time I do!

  2. Steph says:

    First time commenting, long time reading. I just had to comment on this. I had a huge comment typed out when I realized it was getting to be book length! So instead I’ll just say there is a definite difference in my experience with a mom’s relationship with her boys vs. girls. Clear in to adulthood. I’ve also seen a big difference between the relationship with a grandma and her grand-kids from a son vs. a daughter. My mom and I were just discussing this.

    I am still at the point babies make my ovaries ache! I didn’t think you ever got over that! Thanks for letting me know that you eventually do!! :)

  3. I still get those pangs when I hear babies. I always feel like I am pregnant because my breasts ache.

    I have very different relationships with all three of my children (one boy, two girls). It is amazing how these relationships get better and better every year.

  4. I don’t have any children of my own, but when I hold a baby I swear my womb aches. Hopefully one day it will ache from the kicks of a growing foetus and not through shrivelling up through lack of use!! (but if it doesn’t, I have lots of friends who are popping out wee ones left right and centre, and they do a pretty good job of fulfilling my motherly pangs!)

  5. Erin says:

    I absolutely love holding babies. I feel like I missed so much of that time because I had twins. I didn’t get to live in the moment and relish everything….I was exhausted, stressed, and someone was always crying.

    Now I long to experience what it would be like to have a singleton and to be able to focus on just one baby’s needs….snuggle up for a nap together, etc. And because I have twin girls, I long to have a little boy now. But Hubs doesn’t really want any more kids, and even if he did, we’d have to have in vitro again and I’m not sure I could handle that one more time, especially with little ones in tow now.

    Our next door neighbor just had a baby girl. I can’t wait to get my baby fix!

  6. trisha says:

    You know..i dont get that feeling when I hold a baby. Its why i dont have any other desire to have another. My heart beats when I am holding my daughters hand and we are sharing a memory, at the park, talking about something, reading a book, getting our hair done. The baby years bonding just skipped me I think.

  7. trisha says:

    You know..i dont get that feeling when I hold a baby. Its why i dont have any other desire to have another. My heart beats when I am holding my daughters hand and we are sharing a memory, at the park, talking about something, reading a book, getting our hair done. The baby years bonding just skipped me I think.

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