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May 2010

Wanting More

We all want more, we want the best for our kids. Defining the best can be problematic.

I’ve been actively house hunting for the past month. My husband wants a change of neighborhood, a larger lawn, and I would like a smaller house. We live in a neighborhood where we walk to shopping, we would like to move to another neighborhood where we will also walk to shopping. We will not move into the hills, nor will we move further from the children’s school. The homes we are looking for are priced about the same as the one we will be selling, this move will be a lateral move. We are looking forward to an unchanged budget.

Our kids are in a K-8 school, Jane will be entering the 6th grade in the fall, and Alexander will enter the 4th grade. It’s a good school. Like any school it is imperfect, it’s not inexpensive, but it is not expensive by Los Angeles private school standards.

We were a public school family. Alexander went to an SRLDP program instead of a private kindergarten. It was a wonderful choice for him. He thrived in an academic setting, and we both loved the shortness of the day. Unfortunately the local public school was not a match for either child, and we moved them to the private school they currently attend.

While house hunting I realized that a significant portion of our budget is allocated to tuition expenses. I love that we can give our children a great education, it’s my job as their mother to provide them with every opportunity, what they do with it is up to them. I don’t often feel burdened by the tuition, it’s enough money to change our lifestyle, but I’m grateful that we can swing it.

While driving through a swanky part of town a few weeks ago, I realized that we could afford a small house there. If we made the move the kids could go to public school there, they’re really well funded. Case closed. Right? I’ve looked online, and driven past a number of homes in the swanky pocket that we could (maybe) afford to live in, and then the real epiphany came.

We moved into this neighborhood so that we could be with families like ourselves. Our children have access to everything, in part because we live in Los Angeles, and in part because everyone we know is in Sports, TV or Film production. Our children will struggle with excess, why add more? We’ve chosen a part of Los Angeles where children grow up a little slower, and this is good. I like that our kids wear a uniform to school each day. Today was a free dress day, and the chaos of the morning reinforced for me that we have made the right decision.

I remember growing up in Manhattan Beach, and how it had the best schools in the country, but still we went to private school. I know how you plan for one thing, and end up with another. I don’t want to be house poor and find out that swanky town’s school district isn’t a match.

So we won’t be looking at homes in that other part of town, not in the next ten years at least. Sometimes wanting more for your family looks like you’re being modest, when in reality you’re reaching for the stars.