1. stephanie smirnov

    If blogging brings you no joy, you should quit. Life is too short. There are other ways to be influential and connective.

  2. You’ve been doing this plenty long enough to know that there are cycles, and eventually, it will cycle out of Shitberg and into something better.

    But if you need to quit? You’ll find a way. A balanced life is always more important that a balanced checkbook, so don’t do anything that consistently drags you down.

  3. So…you see audience and community as different entities?

  4. LZ

    You should quit if you don’t like it. Or continue to write without worrying about the community you have little respect for.
    I do wonder what you see as the difference between readers and community. I see them is one and the same. Your community is made up of readers, no?

  5. Audiences are addictive. Approval and feedback is a drug.

  6. I’m with Loralee on wondering where you separate your audience and your community. I would think that a lot of your audience is mother’s who also have a blog. Isn’t that also your community?

    I would love to hear more about what has brought you to this conclusion, because if you don’t enjoy it then you shouldn’t keep doing it.

    All of that being said, I truly enjoy your blog and I hope you continue it.

  7. I agree with the others. If you really hate what you’re doing, then just stop doing it. Just walk away. (But warning, you will be missed.)

  8. I get it. I understand your distinction. A good number of your audience may be mom bloggers, but I’m guessing the majority, both men AND women, are not. Those are the ones who challenge you, appreciate you, learn from you… without competing with you (or any of the “messy” things bloggers are criticized for doing).

    I don’t hate the community, but then I haven’t been involved as long as you, or as fully immersed.

    I’d be willing to bet that your adoration for your audience, and their aduration for you (insert ego lift here – hey, we ALL desire/need it) will keep you blogging well into the future. But then, I’m not a betting woman. ;-)

  9. I agree with Preston, if you hate it, quit. But you wil be missed.

  10. If you quit, does that mean you’ll have more time to have lunch with me? Or cocktails? If so, then I say go ahead and quit.

  11. I don’t think you really hate it. Don’t think that you really dislike it that much at all. Where else can you talk about kidney stones and the joy that they bring. But hey, I am biased because I love blogging.

    Or maybe I should say I love writing. Do as you will, but I am guessing you’ll be doing this for a long time.

  12. Oh, you can’t quit…I’ve only just found you! ;) Honestly, though, I do *get* what you mean when you say audience vs community…….fellow bloggers is definitely different than those who visit, read, comment, etc. I do get it…..but if you aren’t happy, you have to stop. You should love it….

  13. I get it. I also know it’s addicting. It’s like heroin at times; you can’t stand it, don’t know why you do it, don’t see any reason it for, but you can’t stop. I have a love/hate relationship with blogging.

    I think you, and your blog, are awesome if that makes any difference.

  14. I get it. My community and my audience are two very different sets of individuals. It’s helped to carve out a community that looks a little more like my audience. It’s actually helped a lot. But it’s a slow process. The getting there is pretty tough, what with feet in two worlds and all.

  15. What is the source of your hate right now? I’m guessing this too shall pass.

    Take a sabbatical, get your head together on if you want to proceed and go from there.

  16. smiles

    I love your blog, but hey, if something doesn’t bring you joy, you need to let it go. What is the point in electing to put time into something on a consistent basis when you do not enjoy it? You will be missed, but I understand.

  17. What does that mean “I have little respect for my community”? And as an audience member, I’ll add that you often make me laugh, cry, or move me to action. And your honest, no-holds-barred approach to calling out liars, cheats, and frauds is awesome. Who else is telling Pepsi that they’re just selling sugar coated with “good?” Who else is telling the ad guy he’s full of it? I don’t know anyone who blogs with a voice like yours, and it’s much needed.

    That said, you will still be you, and I have no doubt actively voicing your opinions in some public fashion, even if you’re not blogging. As a fellow blogger, I totally hear @Adrienne – sometimes blogging is just a slugfest to get through. Other times it fills a need and the post must be written. One thought is that you don’t have to blog as often as you do.

    And of course, walk away if it makes you unhappy. No blog is worth that.

    Best of luck with unraveling the conundrum.

  18. Oh.. I love your blog! But you shouldn’t continue doing something you aren’t happy with. What about vlogging?

  19. Jessica,
    I know exactly what you’re talking about, when you say “community” and “audience.” But that’s only a mental dichotomy. The reality is that they are all one and the same. It’s just that, in our minds, we give the “community” (which I suspect you’re referring to other bloggers) too much power. And, you might be seeing your “audience” as a passive one, or adoring, or accepting of you and your writing.

    I say, go ahead and be yourself, speak your mind, write about what matters to YOU. Let those who like stay, and those who don’t will leave (and that’s exactly how it should be). One thing I’ve learned so far is that mom bloggers can be very righteous and opinionated in “how” we should live our lives, parent our children, and be as women and mothers. Don’t pay attention. Be yourself and enjoy!

  20. jennydecki

    I am so sick of having to filter something 87 times before posting it. I am pretty sure my audience will dash once I start posting for real. But you know what, I really just don’t care anymore. If you quit, just come back and do angry guest posts on my blog. Or more well-heeled and well-visited blogs. Either way :)

  21. if you want it to be different, then BE different. Be the change you wish to see.

  22. Shelley

    I agree w/Cathy….please don’t quit because I only just found you too! I love your blog because it’s humorous, insightful, and engaging. I’m tired of those blogs that are full of gloom & doom. Don’t let the haters annoy you to the point of quitting, they’re just jealous! :o)

  23. Community is what you make of it. If you let the community run you off then they win. If you truly hate something you should let it go because it does you no good. Life is too short to continue doing something you truly hate. I wonder though if you hate the writing and the outlet or just those who choose to disagree with you? Unfortunately when we put ourselves out there people are going to disagree and judge and some can be downright nasty. If that’s what you hate then block it out. Don’t read them, ignore them. If your friends are telling you about it then ask them not to. I know that’s easier said than done as I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be the topic of a blog post on someone else’s site in a negative way. I do think you can do it though. :)

  24. Sometimes it overwhelms me…..and all I want to do is go back to the way life was before blogging…..but then there are the joys…the friends I’ve made…the ones I call and talk to when things are stressful or chaotic….the ones who’s kids my kids play with….and I remember the good things that have come out of blogging…..

  25. I am also like Cathy, I just found you!

    I’ve seen that the more a woman puts herself out there, the more influential she becomes, the more she speaks her truth… the more she becomes the target for others people’s “stuff.” Do you know what I mean? If this is the case I say hand that “stuff” back over to your community (metaphorically speaking). Let them live with their issues; they aren’t yours to carry around in this life time. If I can give my two cents worth: don’t let a community full of negativity or politics become a barrier between you and your readers! (those that love you).


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