Square Pegs And Round Holes

Some time ago my friend Cassie asked me to write a letter to my 20 year old self. Since I adore Cassie, I happily wrote one. She published it yesterday.

Everything about my life is better at forty. I don’t work as hard at people pleasing. At twenty when someone didn’t like me I was devastated. At forty when someone doesn’t like me, I’m pretty sure they’ll like someone else. For the most part I shrug my shoulders and walk away. At forty I also realize that not everyone will like the way I do business, but that’s also okay.

This is the year I say “no thank you” to almost everything. I’m not going to many conferences. I don’t really ache for a personal connection with women who don’t live in my community. I know that for many these are precious friendships, and I understand that they have value. For me, at this moment in time, I’d like to concentrate on the people nearby. I live in Los Angeles, there are about three and half million people I can meet without jumping on an airplane. I have neighbors that I should spend more time with. Girls in Tech offers me nerdy delights. I’ll be at Bloggy Boot Camp in October, because Austin is a city I’m dying to see, and because I’d follow Tiffany anywhere.

I just wonder about the wisdom of all these conferences. How much time and money am I supposed to take from my family before I give back?

I do want to connect with you, but I’m not convinced that I have to leave my family to do so. I’m thinking that this blog, facebook , Posterous and twitter should give us enough of each other.

Maybe I’m wrong? What do you think?

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  1. Ah….Austin. There now. How I love this place. How did I ever leave?! At 20 I thought leaving Austin was an adventure. Now at 30, I’d like to go back.

    1. Austin is the absolute best! 4 years at U.T. and 6 more working, meeting hubby, etc. Best time, best city! Plan on moving back once kids are raised! You will LOVE IT!

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  3. Well, I think for each of us there is a balance.

    For example, you live in Los Angeles where there are plenty of people to choose from, so to speak, when making friends. I live in the 2nd Meth Capital of California, where 95% of the people voted “yes on 8” and I didn’t.

    So, for me, I choose one conference – so far it’s been BlogHer because it’s what I know – and I go. Maybe when my kids are older and I have fewer family obligations, I’ll go to more than one a year. But that’s my one weekend where I feel like I can go and be among like-minded people, or, if not like-minded, at least among people who are more tolerant than my neighbors.

    So, a balance for each of us. And to each her own, in the end.

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