If Your Five Year Old Isn’t Pole Dancing Now She’ll Never Be A Featured Dancer

Tammy Morris of Tantra Fitness is teaching five year old girls to pole dance, and group lessons are available for girls ages nine and older. I know you’re worried that your nine year old doesn’t yet know how to pole dance, but based on the names of the classes I think they’ll catch your daughter up pretty quickly.

Sexy Flexy
Pussycat Dolls (no trademark issues?)
Promiscuous Girls

It used to be that in order to be the proud parent of a featured dancer you had to be a raging feminist, drug addicted or the child needed to be abused. Now, you can shortcut all of that, and maybe when she’s 15 you can work on a fake ID so that she can dance in the cage.

21 thoughts on “If Your Five Year Old Isn’t Pole Dancing Now She’ll Never Be A Featured Dancer”

  1. I have to admit, I’m conflicted about this whole…thing.

    Having taken pole classes and having spent three years working a pole professionally, I can tell you without a doubt it is very athletic – it will develop and tone muscles (many of which you probably weren’t even aware that you had. And anyone who’s ever watched professional pole dancing competitions can speak to the grace of movement that it imparts. And, if you’ve taken pole dancing as an amateur, you can speak to the self confidence and self-esteem it builds. So there is a lot of positive than can come from learning how to work a pole.

    I do agree that the instructor she was talking to is right, the adults are the ones who attach a stigma to pole work ( perfectly understandable given its history). The kids are not going to know about that, though (by and large – some are likely to have been exposed to the strip club nature of the pole if their parents allow them to watch much TV or they have relatives who work as dancers, etc.),

    I know if I had designed the classes for kids of that age, I sure as hell wouldn’t have named them by the names she gave them (which she admitted in hindsight was probably not the best thing to do). At least then you could appear on national TV and exert some modicum of plausible denial that the classes had a sexual bent to them.

    So I can see the positives of allowing a child to take these kinds of classes, and at the same time I can easily see why some adults would have issues with it.

    I have made the point on several occasions, and in several venues, that, yes, we are sexualizing our children at a much earlier age than ever. That’s not going to stop (until the drive to make a buck stops!). So we’re (society) is going to have to come to grips with it one way or the other. You have this, and in the UK, they’re offering pole dancing classes as physical education in middle schools in one area (don’t recall where). It’s just a matter of time before someone does it here in the U.S.

    • “We’re going to have to come to grips with it” ????

      There is a lot of f-ed up shit going down in our world right now The answer is that we just come to grips with it?

      Just come to grips with cultures that practice child slavery . . . because it’s just gonna happen anyway?

      Just come to grips with children in third world countries drinking dirty water . . . because it’s just gonna happen anyway?

      Just come to grips with priests sometimes having special friendships?

      Some things require outrage and social change. That is part of being a feminist. Being a feminist is about using our voices to effect change, and the sexualization of our daughters (YOUNG daughters) is not something we should just shrug our shoulders at. People have been allowing awful things to happen to children since the dawn of time. Collective voices have changed the fates of many children.

      Jessica, I’m glad you are bringing this to light. There are 127 ways that little girls can be athletic without the implied sexual connotations of pole-dancing.

      • There have been scores of books, blog posts, media stories, memes, and a variety of other material written about this subject; people have preached against it, protested against it, built and deployed activist groups against it; politicians have campaigned against it, attempted to legislate against it. All to what effect? None. In fact, it has gotten worse over time, and it will likely continue to become more prevalent. If you have even the remotest idea of something that can be done to prevent that from happening, I’m sure a great many people would be all ears, because everything that’s been tried up to this point has had exactly zero effect (well, actually, an opposite effect). Clearly, expressing “outrage” and demanding “social change” isn’t working (and won’t, as anyone with an understanding of the basic concepts of marketing and advertising will tell you).

        So, yes, you’re going to have to come to grips with it and find a way to deal with it, at least in the short term. You can rant and rave all you want, but tomorrow’s advertisement of Brand X is going to be just as sexualized as it was yesterday, if not more so.

        One of the primary reasons we have to deal with this, by the way, is because of the way we as a society treat human sexuality to begin with. We don’t normalize sexuality here so these kinds of things get to act against that “taboo” that American prudery has attached to it. You don’t see these kinds of advertisements and issues being a problem in the more sexually progressive societies (parts of Scandinavia, for example). So until we normalize sex, this kind of stuff is only going to increase in prevalence (and impact, I might add).

        And it’s not a feminist/non-feminist construct, either, by the way. Not sure why you’d find it necessary to frame it in that manner. It’s far more pervasive than that.

  2. Promiscuous Girls??? Are they serious??? For kids? I am appalled. Like to the nth degree.

    I was, however, fixated on the screen. I’m all for it for adults. :)

  3. I would hope that if I ever signed my daughter up for Sexy Flexy classes that he would leave me and fight for full custody of the kids, because it’s a signal that I have truly lost all sense of purpose as a mother.

  4. Wow! That is shocking. Sure it is athletic, and I can appreciate that knowing I couldn’t lift both feet off the ground much less have any kind of gracefulness about it. There are enough other activity choices to give these kids an athletic challenge (dance, gymnastics, sports) that don’t age-inappropriate sexual names. You have to wonder what some people are thinking.

  5. And people wonder why our country and children are such a mess? How does stuff like this happen?

    Can someone get me the addresses of all the parents who enroll their kids in these classes so I can personally go around and smack them all? As a father of a girl I just can’t understand how any parent would approve of this.

  6. Oh hell no. Promiscuous girls?! For young girls? What the hell is wrong with people? For athletic purposes?!? You know what else is athletic and works child appropriate muscles? Kick ball! Karate! Boot Camp for tykes! Turn the pole horizontally and find that ballet is a beautiful art that also works for exercise. Society didn’t make the pole sexualized, simulating a woman gyrating around a tall penis is what makes it sexualized. It’s not in the imagination.

    Holy fuck.

    Further proof this is insanity? That video is blocked for my viewing for where I am in Greece. A country so whimsy about sex the playing cards have different sexual positions on them. The ones sold in at the souvenir shops!


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