She Danced Until Her Leg Were Sore

10.30.10

Jane had her first school dance last night. It was a Halloween Dance, which is easier than worrying about what to wear in other ways.

She wasn’t planning on dancing, she just planned to be with her friends and have fun. But she danced, and she danced with her friends until her legs ached, and she slept over at the other Jane’s house, and they had popcorn at midnight. She texted me:

oh mom i had so much fun with all mi friends.

They’re sweet girls, and they’re smart and they have a variety of talents. It’s good. This is all very good.

Even though it’s all appropriate, even though it’s all good, I can’t help but wonder why the universe conspires to separate me from my daughter.

Christine O’Donnell, Gawker, NOW, Masturbation and Feminism?

10.29.10

Christine O’Donnell makes me giggle. I haven’t addressed her ridiculousness campaign yet on my blog, because I try to avoid low hanging fruit.

Well, today the National Organization of Women has said that the Gawker Story about O’Donnell and her Halloween hookup is sexual slander. Had Ms. O’Donnell not made a video like this for MTV I’d probably agree.

The sad reality is that Christine O’Donnell is running for office based on Bejeezus, Magical Creation Wands, and not masturbating, because “it’s selfish”.

I think that Gawker missed the mark when they talked about the unruliness of O’Donnell’s pubic hair. I’m torn, because I wonder if they included that tidbit so that the author could prove he was with her, or just to humiliate her.

It seems to me that NOW has jumped into the fray because there’s a spotlight, there’s sexual activity and there’s politics. That’s where they belong, right? Also it’s asinine to say that male politicians don’t have their sexual misconduct put out in public. We have Bill Clinton, Justice Clarence Thomas, Mark Sanford, John Ensign, David Vitter, Kwame Kilpatrick, Larry Craig, Barney Frank, Gary Hart, and pretty much every Kennedy that was ever born.

Does it suck to say one thing in public, and be betrayed by your private life? Absolutely. Is it a feminist issue? Absolutely not.

Dr. Sandeep Kapoor Not Guilty In the Anna Nicole Smith Trial

10.28.10

I wrote this headline ages ago, just hoping it would be true.

It’s been a hideous abuse of the law and the court system, and while I’ve been in need of medical attention my fine physician had to defend himself against a ridiculous charge.

Not Guilty.

Now, Dr. Kapoor, can you please get back into your office? I need a talented Doctor, and no one else will do.

Bert Comes Out of the Closet on Twitter: What About Ernie?

10.27.10

I love this update, how do you think they’ll handle it in the mainstream media? Will Ernie and Bert still have separate beds like Lucy and Ricky?

Were they just testing the waters?

I think it’s fabulous. Fab.U.Lous… and you can even do a little hand motion with that if you like.

A Nice Pear

10.26.10

When we are little girls there are large men. They aren’t necessarily tall, or wide, but they are large in our childhoods. We remember their smells, their habits, the way their walking sticks hit the ground and the size of their stride. We remember their faces only from pictures, because we are little when they are grand. We memorize their shoes.

My Uncle Marek smoked cigars that smelled faintly of cherry leaves. He took enormous steps, three steps of mine would equal just one of his. He had a cane, a walking stick I suppose. He carried that cane but never seemed to rest his weight on it, and as I ran along beside him, almost always to the bakeries that dotted Fairfax, I wondered why he carried it at all.

My Uncle Marek spoke many languages, and English was not his best. At the bakeries, we always went to more than one, he would speak German or Polish to the ageless women behind the counter who were covered in hair nets. At Thrifty we would get a 15 cent ice cream cone “the best ice cream” he told me in English, the rest was in Yiddish. I’m not sure what he said.

At home we never sat at the dining room table. That was for holidays only, but I’d sit at the kitchen table and watch him prepare fresh chicken for the obese and lazy cat. He’d speak in one of the languages, and then switch abruptly to English for my benefit.

“Yessica, would you like a nice pear?” He would ask. There would be a fuss wherein an appropriate pear was located. The best pear would land on my plate, precisely quartered, and sweeter than candy. He was magical with food, fruits were always sweetest, and only a “nice pear” would do.

Jane made herself a snack today. “What’cha eating?” I asked.

“A nice pear and some crackers.” Was her offhanded reply, and as the tears came to my eyes I smelled cherry leaves burning, ever so faintly, but I smelled them.

Miranda Hemphill Has Been Found

10.26.10

Ivan Lopez, age 22, has been taken into custody. Miranda met him online. Miranda is 13, and was found with Lopez in Las Vegas

According to ABC news:

Authorities believe she ran off with Lopez, who is from Lennox. Upon investigation, authorities found that Lopez currently has an active felony warrant in San Bernardino County for a sex crime involving a minor that occurred in 2009.

If you’re a parent or educator take a look at my friend Lori Getz‘ site, she’s a fabulous resource.