Testing Our Marriage

02.7.11


It’s been thirteen and a half years of marriage. We’ve had bumps in the road, but I’d say no bigger than a pebble. I’ve never really been annoyed with my husband for more than a few hours and from what I hear he looks at me and sees Snow White complete with songbirds and radiant light.

Every marriage deserves to be tested, right?

Tomorrow morning Mr. G. is having surgery on his shoulder. I love my husband and I’m really sad that he’s been in pain, and I’m anxious for him that he will be in pain, but there are other reasons for my concern.

If you’ve spent any time with me at all you’ve likely heard me utter the phrase: For better and for worse but never for lunch.

I enjoy my time alone. I’m not saying that I love Mondays when the kids go to school and my husband goes to work, because only an ungrateful terrible woman would admit to that. So I am definitely not saying┬áthat I love the solitude that a Monday offers. I’m not saying that I won’t even let the gardener come on Monday because I’m so happy to not speak to anyone for a full six hours. Only a hermit would say that. I’m not saying that I won’t schedule conference calls on a Monday because I’ve spent the past 48 hours dreaming of a house with just me and the dog, that would also be horrible. But you can surmise anything you like. There are things I simply wouldn’t say.

I love my husband, and I am truly looking forward to a few days shared with just him. I’m smiling here alone in my office just thinking about dropping the kids off to school and then having a few hours to lounge around with him. I’m already planning to cook less, relax more, and to treat this as a gift of time to spend with the man I love the most. The first week or two should be quite nice. I expect that he will be suckling pain killers and probably sleeping a lot the first few days.

The test will come when he needs to return to work with his right arm in a sling. He has a low slung sports car with a rather inconvenient gear shift (you can see it on the video below). Speaking of inconvenient, his office is not on the path to anywhere. In fact the house, school and office make a nice triangle, so I’ll be looking at spending approximately three hours a day in my car. If that won’t test a marriage I don’t know what will.

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7 responses to “Testing Our Marriage”

  1. annie says:

    When my husband had his heart attack last summer that meant six weeks of me driving him everywhere – that included into the city for DR and rehab stuff. To add to the pressure, my husband isn’t keen on my driving. I am a good driver by the way but he spent time driving for a living back in the day and he puts most everyone to shame with his ability.

    A grumpy side-seat driver is no fun. And it is a considerable time-suck, so really nothing to apologize for in not looking forward to it.

    Hope your husband mends quickly and with ease.

  2. Shira Adatto says:

    I love that you confess to what most women would never admit. I adore Mondays!
    Wishing Mr. G a speedy recovery!

  3. Becky says:

    I will keep my surmising all to myself! Now that my littlest is in preschool a few hours a day, I’m discovering those little pockets of time. And I find myself saying, “Wait, what am i supposed to be doing right now? Is there a chance I could just sit here for a minute?”

    I hope it all goes well for Mr. G! I am sure you’re an excellent nursemaid.

  4. Florinda says:

    You need to talk to my husband – y’all can commiserate. I’m the one who had shoulder surgery – my right arm’s been in a sling for 2.5 weeks now, and I’m probably looking at a few more. He’ll be chauffeur, shopper, cook and cleaner till I get out of it.

    I know I was sucking down painkillers and sleeping a lot the first few days after my surgery – Mr. G most likely will too. Hope everything goes well!

  5. Kristen says:

    I only DREAM of a day when I can be alone in my own home. But yeah, three hours in the car is no bueno. Podcasts?

  6. Jamie @ hello kitty bags says:

    I agree with you,..sometimes we need a break. Feels to be alone in
    half of the day. In marriage life, there have always a humps. We
    can not avoid it, it’s part of our life.
    Get well soon to your hubby.

  7. lesleyi says:

    ok we all like time to ourselves, but really a few extra hours in a car driving for a few weeks? you really think that is going to test your marriage?
    how about having a husband unemployed, a child with special needs, and having to try and live on my part time wage.. thinking we will probably have to sell our house to survive..
    time for a reality check..
    but on that note i do hope your husband has a speedy recovery

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