WalMart, Dildos and Booze.

I’m putting advertising back on the blog. I’m not sure how long it will last. As I recall my last ad network experience was way more trouble than it was worth.

I’ve had nothing but conference calls with networks today (no Federated didn’t call to insult me again) and they couldn’t be nicer. All of them. The problem is that I’m very tired from my weekend and I’m a little anxious about my husband’s pending surgery. I realized after the very last phone call that I really need to not work the rest of the day.

NICE AGENCY MAN: We would have you in our parenting vertical, and we have some great national advertisers there.

ME: Can I ask who?

NICE AGENCY MAN: ____, ____ and WalMart are all on board.

ME: [interrupting] Can you control who your advertisers are? I mean can I?

NICE AGENCY MAN: To a degree you can, but it’s not granular. We make sure there are no adult or liquor sponsorships…

ME: [interrupting again] Oh no, I like _____ and _____ and I’d totally rather have dildos and booze than WalMart. I just wanted to ask if I could be with you without WalMart?

And he was nice, charming even, because I couldn’t hear him sigh or hitting his head against the wall. There was no, “Jessica you’re a nutcase.” Just a simple explanation of how they were selling the space.

And then he said I could totally have dildos and booze on my channel but I’d have to take a little WalMart but I certainly could say anything I wanted; and I thought, Oh this poor man could not possibly have thought his MBA would bring him to this moment. ┬áNo more calls today. I’m just done. D.U.N. Done.

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  1. I love it. I’d rather advertise booze and dildos than for Walmart, too. Maybe even porn, and I’m not really a fan. Usually. But anyway, I’m glad your ad guy was awesome.

  2. Look at how progressive WalMart has become- what with all the organic produce, running their stores with compact eco-lightbulbs, etc. It stands to reason in a few years they will sell liquor and dildos, perhaps even dildos made from recycled plastic drink bottles or whatnot. You can still be proud if they advertise on your blog.

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