Five Ways in Which I am Not a Journalist

I’m a blogger. I’m not a journalist, or even a citizen journalist. I’m a great blogger, I’m a sucktastic journalist. Here’s why.

I do not fact check. If I were to fact check I would probably have to miss yoga and I’d definitely have to miss tennis. I do not have time for fact checking. It will get in the way of my leisure activities.

I seldom spell check. Well, if the squiggly red line appears sometimes I’ll right click to change the word, but let’s be frank I could easily misspell peak, peek or pique and I probably have.

I do not know how to use commas. The Virgin tells me that my comma splices drive her crazy. Unfortunately I do not know what a comma splice is. I was at the beach that day.

Why would I get three independent sources to verify a story when I could just wait for the first three commenters to say me too?

I do not present the other side of the story. Fair and balanced reporting is for the AP Newswire, not bloggers. I’ve got an agenda folks, the food industry has a huge media budget, y’all have me. I don’t need to present their side of the story.




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