Your Car is My Litmus Test

I’m not really a nice woman, which is totally okay, because I’m not trying to be. I’d like to be thought of as kind and honest, but nice women clutch their pearls and say Bless Your Heart and then they die when their ulcers explode. I’ll be ulcer free.

There are people I will never like, there are first impressions I simply cannot recover from. At one point in time I tried to talk myself out of these kinds of snap judgements, but then I realized they served me well.

Range Rovers are for D-Bags

I don’t like Range Rover drivers in Los Angeles. I know there are regions where a Range Rover is a practical choice, but Los Angeles is not one of them. If you have elected to spend six figures on a car you have options and one of those options is to not buy a disgusting behemoth that screws up parking lots, visibility and the planet. They’re gauche and I didn’t have to teach my kids to not respect you. The kids at half a dozen schools in LA know they’re the vehicle of choice for selfish people.

I don’t like idlers. The carpool lines are a fact of life here in the City of Angels. Moms (and nannies) drive to the school, wait in the line, grab their charges precious cargo and drive off into the sunset. I totally understand not wanting to park your car a whole block away, getting out of the car and then tottering along in 4″ wedgies walking to the school to fetch your kids. I really do understand this. What I don’t understand is why you must idle your car five feet away from where our children are playing. What is so difficult about turning the engine off and rolling the windows down? When did your comfort trump my child’s right to breathe clean air?

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  • Sharyn

    I agree completely.  It’s not as if there’s ever enough bad weather in LA to prevent you from leaving your car and walking half a block.  Where I live, in the Midwest, we have harsh winters and nobody wants to get out of the car at carpool time; still, I turn off my car when sitting in line, even if it’s below zero.  I’m not going to freeze to death waiting for ten minutes without heat.  And have you ever noticed how it’s always the gigantic-car people who leave their engines running?  Nobody driving a Prius or VW Bug or Mini will leave the engine running.  Then again, I suppose that’s why they choose small cars in the first place.

  • Truthfulmommy

    You are right, but you know what they say..Big gauche vehicles make up for small penises and tiny brains. I definitely am not a fan of assholes contaminating my children’s air space. Lazy idlers and chronic public smokers, drive me insane.DO they not care about the planet? Or even respect other’s right to breather clean fresh air?I say they all deserve a good strong throat punch.

    • Citizen72

      I love Range Rovers and I don’t think there is any affiliation with the member of a man or the brain of the person who owns it. It is just… that is California. Newsflash there are a lot of things that contaminate our airspace, besides a Range Rover specifically. Did you forget airplanes, all cars, any motorized vehicles except electric which contributes to other things, chemical manufacturers, that you live in a congested city, etc. I mean the list is endless.

  • Charlene Ross

    Now this post I like. Very much. :) xoxo

  • Anonymous

    I hate idling EVER.  If I understood something I read recently…you should shut off your car if you’re idling for more than 10 seconds!!  My mom always told me it takes more gas to start the car than to sit there for a few minutes…so you may as well leave it on.

    Except now most cars have more efficient fuel systems than most of the vehicles she has owned. 

    The only reason I don’t do it at stoplights is b/c until 2009, I have never owned a car that was less than 8 years old!  I prayed every time I turned the key that the damn thing would just RUN.  Shutting it off at a stop light to try and restart it was not a Russian roulette that I wanted to play!!