Monthly Archives: August 2011

In the months before I met Mr G I dated two Steves and a Stockbroker. The stockbroker was crazy about me, and I didn’t mind him. He was fun to go places with. Places like dinner and nightclubs. He was a recovering alcoholic so he could always drive. I didn’t dislike him, but there was no chemistry on my end.

Until he started being adorable. He batted his eyelashes when he’d say something funny or controversial. Like a girl. Not like a woman, like a girl child.

I was thinking about the Stockbroker today and how grateful I am that he primed me to marry a 501 and crumply tee wearing man who recognizes that salad is girl food and has passed that on to his son.

I used to spend a good bit of time poking at publicists who didn’t understand bloggers. To be perfectly candid I didn’t understand publicists, and to a large degree I still don’t. I also don’t understand brain surgery, but like bad PR I can recognize malpractice when I see it.

I want y’all to take a moment and read the email exchange between a blogger with a massive audience and publicist steeped in tradition. I know what I think, what do you think?

This is the unsolicited introductory email. 

Hi [blogger],

I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to pass along information about our new client [redacted] along with a look book and information about their Fall 2011 collection.

[Redacted], known for their collection of [redacted], began their business by creating accessories for today’s sophisticated and chic parents. With this notion, [redacted] differentiated themselves from the other purely iconic [redacted] brands, transforming their company into a lifestyle collection with an ability to provide something for everyone.

Expanding their product offering this fall, [redacted] is introducing a collection, including messenger bags, handbags, and a variety of totes, in addition to their diaper and baby bags. The collection will fit the many needs of all parents, male or female.

Compared to their competitors [redacted] has always offered a more approachable price point featuring vibrant prints [redacted], endless versatility with reversible options, smart straps with memory foam, custom hardware, and a protective lining with a natural anti-microbial treatment.

One of the newest additions for Fall is [redacted], [redacted] selection of earth conscious[redacted]. With innovative engineering and extensive research, Earth Leather is completely animal-free, machine washable, and friendly to the environment without sacrificing style. This collection includes[redacted]‘s most popular styles with their classic approach to wearability, extending to accessories such as a variety of wallets.

[redacted]‘s growth can even be seen by the attention they have gotten through the media as [redacted] can be seen toting around a [redacted].

If there are any styles from the look book that are a fit for any stories that you are working on, please let me know! Happy to send them to you! I will follow up with a phone call tomorrow morning.

Best,

[Publicist]

Product Marketing and Placement, Television and Film

 

And the response: 

  [Publicist], I would be happy to share some of the current styles and links to [redacted] in exchange for a [redacted].

Sincerely,
[Blogger]

Which to me seems like a great response, right, the publicist had written, “If there are any styles from the look book that are a fit for any stories that you are working on, please let me know! Happy to send them to you!” Remember this is to a blogger not Elle Magazine.

The publicist follows up with:

     Hi [blogger],

Please send me a media kit.

Best,

[publicist]

Hmmmm????

[Publicist], I dont keep a media kit becuase, as you know, blogs change on a dime.

Currently I have a PR5, last month I received over 179K uniques, my forum houses 400+ active social media bloggers and does approx 400K page views a month. [Site name] has been seen in over 24 major magazines and newspapers, this month listed in a [redacted] story and am in the July issue of [redacted] magazine as a [redacted].

I am happy to provide screen shots of stats.

[Blogger]

The next email seems like things are smoothed over

 Hi [Blogger],

We would love for you to review one of our [redacted] on your site. Please send me your mailing address.

Best,

[Publicist]

And this is also benign. 

         [Publicist]

Its
[Blogger, address, city, state, zip]

However I dont want a mystery [redacted]. I would need to approve the pattern/style before its sent.

thankyou!

[Blogger]

And then the email is forwarded to someone senior. The senior publicist replies to all with: 

 Hello [Blogger],

We would be happy to send you a [redacted] to review for your site. We are happy to send you the style [redacted] you are interested in reviewing- pattern and print seemingly would be inconsequential given you are testing the [redacted] and its features.

Please do let me know which style you prefer and we would be more than happy to send it to you to review for your site.

All my best

[Redacted]
Senior VP Public Relations
Fashion Beauty Lifestyle

I’m going to chime in here with the fact that with anything lifestyle the print and color matter. Especially if you’re looking for web shoppers. Just my two cents.

The blogger kindly follow up with this (yes, I clearly have a bias):

  [Senior VP],

Since you most want to advertise the [redacted], lets go w/ the [redacted].

You can ship to
[shipping information]

The sooner the better since the [event is] in 2.5 weeks and I want to get your review up before then! OTherwise [sic] its gonna be a few weeks [sic] before I get back to my normal online posting schedule.

sincerely,
[Blogger]

And then the hammer comes down: 

  Hello [Blogger],

I am confused, are you looking for a [redacted] for yourself? Unfortunately we are not able to fill personal requests.

All my best,
[SVP}

[Redacted]
Senior Director of Public Relations

She replies

 [SVP], see our email trail…I thought you offered a review for the site? I dont send reviews back. You said to pick the pattern and colors? I would run the review article?

Now you have me confused.

[Blogger]

And then….

 [Blogger],

I said we do not send specific patterns and or colors.

With sites that have fewer than 50,000 uniques and or monthly viewers we only send images, and do not fill specific product requests. I have reviewed your site in depth and have to take a pass on your request. I see that you were previously in PR and I am sure you understand my position.

Apologies all around for the confusion below.
All my best,
[SVP]

And then the blogger replies with a list of her accolades, press, 200k+ traffic for the past year, national campaigns and more. She asked the SVP to review the email thread and mentions that she runs a prominent group forum. The SVP then sends this. 

[Blogger],

There is no need for threats.

Having been in this business for 21 years and running my own PR firm for 10 currently the senior director at [redacted] I am very well versed at process and procedure. Often times we need to make a judgment call. We received hundreds of requests for [redacted] product from the look book mail out. I then look at each request- check their alexa and compete ranking and decide if we can fill the request. I assume you are the same [Blogger] that is wearing a micro mini skirt in the photoon page one of your site? Or I am mistaken?

I want to be sure your site is [redacted]- correct?

[Redacted]
Senior Director of Public Relations

Unlike 21 years ago when the SVP was starting out carving her press releases into stone tablets, this email exchange has been shared with a community of bloggers who cumulatively have more than 10 million impressions a month. Why would they offer an item and then become so difficult? It wasn’t like the blogger emailed them asking for a product.

Mr G and I were invited to a dinner party last night. When we first started dating it seemed like we were at a dinner party every week, and then something changed, maybe it’s because we all started having kids, but the dinner parties turned to potlucks and my flirty dresses became jeans and tees.

I was really happy when our friends decided to host a dinner party.

There were four couples and a few singles invited. Mr G and I were the second couple to arrive and just as we were seated Vladimir and his wife arrived. They were a lovely Russian couple (all but three of us were Russians), he promised to not talk about sex, religion or politics and promptly broke the promise. His wife muttered something about Americans not smoking or drinking so they could die very healthy. These people are my people, I knew I was going to enjoy them.

After Vlad and his wife settled in six of us made small talk. Everyone tried really hard to speak in English. As we were finishing our first glass of wine a nice American lady arrived, a little shiny faced and somewhat breathless. She was wearing the most fabulous cocktail dress and sexy heels. When our host Boris introduced her all around she smiled at Vladimir and his wife and said, “You’re the ones who took my parking spot and told me I should walk.”

At an American dinner party this is the part where it gets awkward and uncomfortable. Folks start to drink a little too much and there would be passive aggressive banter. It’s a good thing this was a predominantly Russian crowd, as one more couple came to the garden to join us for appetizers there was some banter in Russian, the hostess said, “Oh we’ll drive you back to your car when dinner is over.” and somehow the parking spot thieves apologized without ever saying, “I’m sorry” and the evening was lovely.

With a dozen overachievers (minus me) and their overachieving spawn we heard tales of 14 year old college students, 22 year old attorneys and the need for life insurance. We talked about little kids and their little problems and then big kids and their big problems. We laughed with our entire bodies and ate a magnificent meal.

There were moments where we all knew we were living an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, but no one would admit to being Larry David. We deferred to our host who actually has been featured on Curb, and begged him to keep his shoes on.

I need more dinner parties, more cocktail dresses, more couples and less jeans.

I also need more Russians in my life. Any woman who can sip her chardonnay while lighting a cigarette and not mess up her lipstick is a woman I need to spend more time with.