The past few days have been full of the highest highs and the lowest lows. My daughter turned thirteen, she is the light of our lives, delighting me, my husband and our son. Jane has brought us nothing but joy for thirteen years. I wouldn’t know how to be angry with her for an extended time.
On Jane’s birthday we had a special treat, Mama Lucy, Leah, Gideon, Stacey and Sanjay showed up for a three day visit. We can’t quite figure out a way to get us all to Africa, but it was with overflowing hearts that our family from Arusha came to stay with us.
On Jane’s birthday I got news, crushing news, that my friend Lisa Kelly had died. I don’t have words for it. Lisa was a neonatologist, an accomplished woman at the top of her field who saved babies every day. Baby savers aren’t supposed to die young. Women who never stop smiling aren’t supposed to die young. The world needed Lisa, and now there’s a void.
I was shocked but I stuffed it. I wasn’t going to ruin Jane’s birthday, and I know that Lisa would have understood that.
I spent Friday with Mama Lucy and the kids. I cried a lot, mostly from joy but perhaps some sadness and fear crept in. Friday night we celebrated Mama Lucy and Epic Change, this morning everyone left and it was back to high gear with BlogWorld Expo, soccer, baseball and Jane’s birthday celebration.
Now it’s quiet, and being in a hotel leaves me with no busywork to distract me from my feelings, so I’ll lay still and wait for sleep to get me. I fear that when I finally cry I won’t be able to stop. I’ll start soon, but not today.