Monthly Archives: December 2011

This is my very favorite momversation. You can see that we’re all in Daphne’s kitchen and the really nice thing is that Rebbeca, Daphne and I are friends. This is exactly how we chat together.

In any event I know that not all kids are ready for kindergarten, just as I know academically that some kids could skip a grade. I still think it’s a bad plan, and if you watch the video you’ll see why.

What do you think? When will you send your kids to kindergarten?

My friend called today and wanted an honest answer to a very difficult question. We’ve been friends for more than 20 years. I knew that he was having a tough time with his own mother, but I wasn’t clear as to the extent of it.

He asked me what I would do if one of my kids was gay.

I have never been asked the question, so I’ve never answered it for anyone because my answer will soothe neither parent nor child.

If either of my children are gay there will be a period of mourning. I am not worried about their souls, their social life or the limitations that could be placed on their careers though those would have been valid concerns a few short years ago (not the souls, but the careers). I wouldn’t be grossed out or wondering where I went wrong because it’s all just love and parents have little to do with who we love. I wouldn’t be angry, but I would experience a loss and I’m pretty sure most parents of gay children experience the loss to some degree.

When each of my children was born I started mapping out their futures. Obviously they have free will and probably some different plans than I have, but I looked at my newborn daughter and imagined her starting school one day, and then college. When I’d let my mind wander I imagined her wedding and wondered how old she’d be when she became a mother. With my son I fantasized about him taking after his father. I dreamt of him being taller than me and striding down the aisle to wait for his bride.

Before my children had uttered their first words I’d daydreamed about their futures. I dreamed of my children replicating the best and most important moments of my and my husband’s lives. I only have one frame of reference.

So I told my friend the truth. I explained to him that if one of my children was gay I would be very sad. I’d have to mourn the dreams that I had for them. After that mourning I’d have new dreams. Dreams that would involve two brides, or two grooms. Dreams that could include adopting a baby or having one another way. I’d hope that they’d avoid colleges in parts of the country where they’d be put in harms way.

I don’t think my mourning would last very long and I’m constantly surprised by parents who are shocked when their children come out.

As a parent I never know what I’m going to do. I was a great mother before there were any kids, but now that they’re here I’m pretty sure I’m making a mess of things. There’s nothing my children could do to make me stop loving them, but when they force you to rearrange your dreams I think it’s hard for any parent.

So, yes. I would cry but it wouldn’t be because I didn’t love them and it certainly wouldn’t be because they disappointed me.

I decided I didn’t want to do a Gift Guide for the Holidays because I was inundated with spammy publicist requests to promote wacky things I’d never heard of. Then I’d walk around my house and say to myself, “this is perfect for a gift guide”.

So I came up with a gift guide that I’m very happy with.

I told my friends at Singley + Mackie that I was planning a good gift guide and asked them if they’d like to sponsor it. I asked them to please provide one of the suggested items for one of my readers and a Gucci Fiat for me.

Clearly there was a misunderstanding because I’m not getting a car but one of you is getting an XBox Kinect Bundle. Below the gift guide you’ll get entry instructions.

Good luck!

Last night I went to Adrienne Maloof and Charles Jourdan’s shoe launch party. She has designed a line of shoes for them and if you love high heels you’ll love this collection. They’re sky high and full of color and sparkle.

It was an interesting evening because I wanted to ask her a few questions about how she came to partner with Charles Jourdan. Did she look at the shoes in her closet and think, “these could be made better”? Did Charles Jourdan approach her? Did she have a secret sketchbook and a love of all things leather and luxe?

Before I could ask questions there was a mild freak-out. I guess her publicist wanted to know who I wrote for… um myself. And what kind of questions I’d be asking… um questions about the shoes… we were in the SHOE DEPARTMENT. Only a small number of people had been invited. I was invited, this was weird.

I finally got past the publicist. The answer was that the team at Charles Jourdan approached her. Adrienne Maloof knew that she loved shoes (don’t we all) and it was a good and logical partnership. She was a charming hostess, took a thousand pictures and had a kind word for everyone.

What stuck me driving home was how alike reality stars and mom bloggers can be. We’re both deathly afraid that our audiences will turn on us. I have no idea why many of you read this blog. I don’t know if you like me or hate me. Perhaps you have no feeling either way. I’m not asking for an answer because I’m smart enough to know that you should never ask questions that you don’t want the answer to.

Recently a bunch of traffic came to one of my posts from a private mom blogging forum. It’s one I hadn’t heard of prior and it seems to be quite new. There was some discussion about the Infantino Baby Sling post and it was all interesting. They weren’t sure what side I was on. I was unsure there was a side, it was only a discussion. When I scrolled down I read the following:

I’ll admit I didn’t click through. I can’t give JG any traffic. Even I find her to be very abrasive. I think that says a lot. But I think Shawn Ann is awesome.

Things like this used to sting. A lot. Now they entertain me a little because I don’t know who this person is and clearly she has never met me. It’s not personal. It doesn’t reflect on me so much as the author.

Can you really hate someone you’ve never met? Even if it’s someone who has absolutely zero impact on your life?

Are bloggers like Real Housewives? Should we be afraid of the community? Wait, don’t answer that.

Jane has worked hard both in school and in sports. Mr. G. and I love that our children are smart and certainly we praise them for their natural abilities. Just as a workplace would, we reward them when they work hard.

Jane killed it on the soccer field this weekend and she’s been dying for highlights in her hair. So, after two goals and and a 3.5 GPA (we’ll talk about the B’s another time because they do have me unhappy) we decided that work begets reward and we walked to the salon at the corner for Jane’s first hair color.

The stylist has watched my kids grow from toddlerhood to now. She’s a soccer player and it was nice watching her talk to Jane about how important it is to be part of a team. She then put a few strands of bluish blonde color onto Jane’s hair which brought up a little bit of lighter streaks. I didn’t mention that Jane already has these streaks in her hair, but it made her so happy that I didn’t want to ruin her good time.

I was floored when it was time to pay for the dozen small streaks and found out that it was $70. Jane didn’t even have a blow dry. The good thing is that I asked plenty of questions of since I’ve been doing my own hair color for the past handful of years I feel equipped to add highlights as needed for about $10 an application.

As I stood at the counter writing out my check Jane popped over and kissed me on the cheek complete with a, “Thank you mommy.” Most often I’m Mom, but when I’m writing checks they switch it up to Mommy. The two women at the desk smiled and said how sweet she was. I smiled back and nodded. Then they went on to tell me how they never see kids thanking their parents.

I tried to defend the neighborhood kids, “Well, who would thank their mom for a haircut?”

“It’s for highlights, and tips.” Said one.

“And manicures.” Said the other.

They went on and on to list the very expensive services teenage girls get and the fact that they very seldom hear thank you’s and almost never see a kiss.

I felt pleased for myself that I’m raising a girl who knows just how lucky she is. It was nice to hear from strangers that my daughter is lovely, but it was incredibly sad that her kindness would be seen as unusual.

Alexander is obsessed with card tricks. He comes home from school every day, does his homework and disappears into his room to learn a new magic trick from YouTube. He’s little, at ten his hands don’t fit on a deck of cards like mine do but he gets a little better each day. He’s learning the terminology and wants to teach us how he does the tricks.

Last week I took him to Ivan Amodei’s magic show last weekend. There was this thing with darts… let’s just say that Alexander has asked for darts and I’ve responded by purchasing more playing cards.

NO DARTS.

This weekend he asked me to help him enter a contest on YouTube. Since it’s dart free I’m still encouraging the hobby.

I’ve heard a lot of boys go through the I’m a Magician phase. I hope it’s not a phase, because this is one of the really good phases.