Do You See the Scrotum?

01.23.12


My stepbrother texted me last night to let me know that he’d sent Alexander a text saying “keep it clean”. I was out buying the perfect silk blouse so I couldn’t exactly be bothered with parenting at the time.

When I got home I asked Alexander for his cell phone. He looked sheepish handing it to me and we went through the text messages together. Most of the text messages were fine, funny even. There were links to chicken butt pictures.

chicken butt And then there was a note to his cousin saying, “This is you”. Along with this picture.

dickhead scrotum chin

There was also a WTF. Potty mouth… I wonder where my child would pick that up?

I sat down with my boy to talk to him about media use. I reminded him that Daddy and I would always be checking his texts, computer and emails. I told him that anything you write is public and you should want it so that even your mom could read it. Blah blah blah it was the same talk I’ve been giving Jane for years. Even I was bored listening to me.

I asked Alexander if he knew what WTF meant. He nodded his head and looked embarrassed. I told him that I knew it was funny and that it was a word I’d like him to not use but that I know everyone slips up. I also told him to NEVER write it so that people wouldn’t think he was a bad kid.

Take my advice, son, I won’t be needing it.

Then I asked him about the picture. Why would you send that to your cousin?

“Because it’s an ugly guy.” He said.

Is there anything else about it that’s bad? I asked him this in a thousand different ways. Finally I pointed to the chin. Is there anything about his chin that is bad?

“It’s long.” He said, and looked genuinely curious.

I didn’t punish him. I’m out of the business of punishment, being embarrassed with your mom is lesson enough.

Later in the evening I showed Mr G the image. “He sent this to his cousin.” I said. Mr G shrugged nonchalantly.

Apparently I’m the only one in the house able to identify a scrotum.

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15 responses to “Do You See the Scrotum?”

  1. Stephanie Elliot says:

    I guess the guys in your family don’t check out their ball sacks. I’m going to ask the men in my family when they are all together and I’m going to report back EXACTLY what they all say OK? I bet there are a ton of ball jokes that will be flying! How old is your son btw?

  2. There are a LOT of very obvious dirty jokes about you being the one to ID the scrotum. I may be too classy to type them, but I am classless enough to point that out. Balance rules the day.

  3. Where is that picture even from? It’s bordering gross/creepy. I had a similar talk with my niece and nephew (both are over 18 but have family following them). And since I’m the “young” one that still identifies with the young ones – I always remind them to watch the image they put out there. I told them that if it was absolutely necessary – filter their info so that the “olds” don’t get offended. I am just glad we didn’t have digital cameras and no one really shared photos during college (1999 seems like the dark ages sometimes).

  4. it’s a endangered ballchinian! 

  5. Day 2 Day Printing says:

    I find it incredible how children these days are involved with digital media and how easy it is for them to access such things. I remember when I was ten I did not have a cell phone or an email, much less access to my own computer. How times change. 

  6. Jennifer Brandt says:

    hilarious

  7. The JackB says:

    Apparently I’m the only one in the house able to identify a scrotum.

    I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that you might have paid more attention to what a scrotum looks like than some of the boys and men.

    Maybe it is just me, but I haven’t spent a whole lot of time checking myself out. As long as everything is in good operational condition I am a happy guy.

    On a different tack entirely, when I was Alexander’s age I would have avoided talking about that kind of material with my mom, even if it meant pretending not to see it.

  8. That is one seriously long scrotum. I’m sure a kid wouldn’t recognize one like that. It looks to be at least 60 or so…

  9. Thanks for sharing this…I think we forget just how “innocent” our kids can be…but good timing for a lesson. Funny like the F-bomb from Lily on Modern Family. Too bad we have to take things so seriously sometimes.

  10. Jen T. says:

    Just had this conversation with my 12 year old daughter. I had showed her the picture of the Kindergarten scissors drawing that is going around online…I wouldn’t forward it to her but she couldn’t wait to get to school to draw it for her friends. I forbade her to do so, explaining that if a teacher saw it and she got sent to the office, she could be suspended (I don’t know if it would be taken that far, but we are looking at private schools for HS so I don’t really want to find out!). I tried explaining to her that she could draw it off school grounds if she wanted, but that if she wasn’t mature enough to handle it, I couldn’t show her things like that anymore. She maturely slammed the car door and told me I ruined her day already. Oy!

  11. Carrie says:

    So funny. Thank you for making me laugh out loud. My son wouldn’t get it either but he is 4 and thinks his sister just has a “different kind of weiner!”

  12. Nikki says:

    When you ask “do you see the scrotum?” I immediately saw it on the chicken….oops.

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