David Sedaris at Royce Hall and Questions About Shopping and Things

Tonight I’m going to see David Sedaris at Royce Hall. I’m a little depressed by the thought of how many frustrated writers might be there. I’m also excited because I’ve heard him on podcasts and radio and whatnot but I’d like to see what the magic is. Why he is so compelling live?

Mr. G came home from his trip last night and it’s abundantly clear that he hates me. Our marriage won’t be ending soon because I plan to punish him by going to my grave as his fat wife.

You see, in addition to bringing Alexander a NY Giants Jersey and Jane an I Red heartNY shirt he brought home some of the stuff from his gift bag, including this.

caramel corn for fat wives

Has he not noticed that I’ve been working with a trainer three days a week? Has ne not noticed that I’m no longer eating dessert in bed (which is where everyone knows it tastes best)? Maybe he thought I’d share it with the kids? It’s not organic, I can’t let the children eat this.

You may notice that the bucket of fat ass is not exactly filled to the brim. This is because I had to sample it for freshness. It was fresh and I’m pretty sure it will be tomorrow too.

Now I have a question for all of you because it’s springtime and springtime means a LOT of shopping in my family. The kids wear uniforms to school so I feel like I’ve whipped out my wallet and sounded the starters pistol this week in preparation for the summer.

I’m finding great stuff for the kids lately and with Jane totally makeup obsessed I’m also enjoying myself. Should I share my shopping finds here (maybe once a week) or would y’all prefer an opt in newsletter?

I need to know so please let me know in the comments.

But first I’m going to dump the caramel corn in the trash, but not in the tub I’m going to let that corn fly out of it because I’m not above pulling a bin of heavenly goodness out of a trash can.

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  1. Dump the corn in the trash but pour water over it first. Just to be completely safe. 

    I would LOVE to see shopping tips from you. I picked up those Dillon Rogers wrap bracelets on your recommendation years ago. One for my Mom, and another one for my sister last Christmas too. 

    My girl is a size 6/7 and is just fitting into Justice clothes. Some of them are too old for her (bra holder tank in a size 6? please) so we mix and match. I also went to Sephora for the first time at the Beverly Center two weeks ago and kind of fell in love. 

  2. I’d be all over the shopping tips.  I’m about two weeks away from buying my kids their summer clothes.

  3. Melinda

    we get a couple tubs of that every summer but then again we are just 2 hours from the Joisey Shore

  4. You look great Jessica! What a gift though.. ugh! My weakness.. FRESH carmel corn.. and yes, the only way to eat dessert is in bed where only the dog can watch and he can’t speak so I don’t have to worry about it. 

    I’m with you.. My kiddos are in uniforms, so I too have to start the shopping. Both kids have grown so much since last year there is nothing that fits, so I have to start soon. I also lost a boat load of weight so I am in need of all new things. I have a couple dresses I can squeak by in, but nothing else. I seem to always miss the sales. Having said that.. I’d love a feature showing some finds and deals on them! I would prefer a blog post since I don’t like to overwhelm my email with newsletters. I get all the blog posts to my RSS reader app and then click out to comment.. But I am sometimes days behind on reading so I skim titles and get the important ones out of the way (like shopping). 

    I think it would be a great addition to your blog, but you’re awesome, so anything you add will rock :)

  5. LOL I hate caramel corn…if it’s not covered in chocolate or coconut, I usually don’t want it. As far as the shopping goes, I tend to ignore shopping posts because it just makes ME want to shop…

  6. I understand you are not going to eat the carmel corn but it looks delicious in that tub.  I would love to know of any shopping finds you come across.  I’m sure all of your readers of your blog would as well.  Have a Great Day. :)

  7. I LOVE David Sedaris — I’ve seen him live in Boston…it’s a whole new experience to hear him read his essays…all because of his voice and delivery, I think. Can’t wait to hear what you thought of him!

  8. Suzie

    We really enjoyed David S. last night and are glad that he comes back at least every other year to read his new material. Didn’t see you but did get caught in the crowd exciting from the Bill Clinton talk. A busy night at Royce!

  9. My hubby is determined to make me fat as well, I think he’s starting to succeed and it’s kind of depressing! I like reading about what other people are buying so I say go fir it!

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