Email from a Marketing Consultant

06.20.12


Hi Jessica,

My Name is [redacted], and I work for [redacted] where I am involved in Marketing/ PR and would like to invite you to a day [of hell] .

Activities include [redacted], and hopefully of interest to you, a presentation of our [redacted]. Details are below.

We’d love to have you. Please let me know what you think, and if you’re interested in attending.

 

Best,

[redacted]

 

My (standard) Response:

 

Thanks so much for thinking of me. This isn’t a match.

Jessica

 

Their response:

 

Hi Jessica

 

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly

Do you know of any other Mom Blogs in the area which might be interested?

 

All the best,
[redacted]

 

Ummm… okay a stranger emailed me and wants my contacts to send to an event that will be excruciatingly dull in the middle of summer when Moms are with their kids enjoying their lives. Sure! I’ll do that for ya.

I do know quite a few and I’d be happy to help you with blogger outreach if you have a budget for that.

 

J

Quick and curt:

 

Hi Jessica
Think we will have to pass- thank you anyways

 

Best,

[redacted]

 

And that’s when I took a closer look at the email address and realized that my redacted friend is a consultant. Holy crap, my new friend Redacted was hired for their contact list… I’ve really got to get into the consulting business.

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8 responses to “Email from a Marketing Consultant”

  1. Sarah Auerswald says:

    These are words of wisdom: 

    “…I’d be happy to help you with blogger outreach if you have a budget for that.”

  2. Jenn says:

    Every time a prospective client says “mommy blog” my knee-jerk is “Budget for their time. And just say blog.” More PR people need to grow some balls and set better expectations with their clients. 

  3. xoj9 says:

    you could totally consult… but do you want to?! Your responses… perfection

  4. Makes my blood boil. Keep waiting for Darwinian laws to kick in and weed out these self-promoting, substance-less social media “consultants” and worse, “branding experts” (with clients you’ve never heard of). How is it possible midway through 2012 that people are a) still making these mistakes and b) GETTING PAID TO IT?

  5. ROFL that is crazy! It makes you wonder how qualified these people are for the jobs they are hired to do. 

  6. @serena says:

    Yes, yes and of course, yes.  And not just because of my klout for hire.  (Kidding)

  7. Kit says:

    It’s crazy how much money brands waste  on companies that don’t do their homework.  I still get very nice (expensive) PR kits and review books for a site I sold 4 years ago! And you should totally be a “consultant”!

  8. Leah says:

    I love your responses!  It’s amazing some of the people that send these pitches out.

    My favorite is when you get a super spirited pitch and it’s about tampons.  Or something of that  nature.  My first thought is to respond with “wow man, you sure have a major passion for a tampon”.

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