One of the kid’s past teachers isn’t well. She’s going to be well but she had a little event and she’s busy mending. I was talking about her this morning to one of the male teachers and he thought she was looking teriffic and I had to explain to her that women will always look better to men than to other women. We see each other differently. I recognize small bags under my friends’ eyes, not because I’m looking for flaws but because I’m looking to help when help is needed. My husband, and most of the men I know, don’t see these things. It’s not an insensitivity, it’s just a different way of seeing the world.
My Dad always asks how I’m feeling. He’s probably the only person who does. Not because he’s the only person who cares but because the rest of the world knows how tired I am of RA and all that comes with it but talking to my Dad doesn’t seem like it makes things worse.
I’m still weighing too much and I’m still eating like I’m a runner. I haven’t been a runner for a number of years now. I’m exercising when I don’t have a cold but colds just linger with me. I’ve had one for ten days now and it doesn’t seem to be going away. I haven’t been to the gym in a week and even my hikes are slow. I just can’t breathe.
I’ve bought myself a blinged out pill case because Auti showed me hers at lunch and talked about how she was going to make her life fabulous. I’m moving forward in my own slow way and wondering how other folks deal with a chronic illness without letting it define you.