Los Angeles Articles

Yesterday I spent the day purging my office of unneeded papers. Yesterday was also the day I filed my 2010 taxes. If you look up “Procrastinator” in the dictionary you will see this.

My office is amazing. I had boxes from 1998 and the purchase of our first home. Shredding those papers was a fabulous way to spend the day.

Naturally I like to be totally out of control of my time so when I got  a midday phone call asking me if I could go on air with HLN at 3.30 I was all yeah.

The reality is that if CNN calls I’ll show up for three reasons: CNN, Judy and Michelle. CNN is CNN and they’re amazing so of course you want to say you’ve been on air with them, Judy is the hair stylist at CNN in Hollywood, and Michelle is the makeup artist. Those women are magicians and I’d follow them anywhere.

Here I am the day after the purge. My office is clear. I can see table tops and I’m in heaven. There is no dust, papers don’t need shredding, everything might be on time for 2012.

The thing is that even though the weight of all that crap has been lifted, I’m still feeling strange in my office, like something is missing. Maybe I miss the chaos? 

It’s been a little bit challenging around here lately. Ever since the arrest of one of the local moms I’ve been given the silent treatment by a mutual friend. The feedback I get is, “you don’t need her anyhow”. But the reality is that I do and it’s a loss.

I’m not even mad at her because the Grifter Mom is such a talented con artist that I’m not sure I wouldn’t believe her if I was in another woman’s shoes. Fortunately I’m the mom that spent a hour on the phone with a police officer who gave me the details of the nine most recent felonies. I can’t unhear those things and I’m a lot less gullible than I was just a few months ago.

In addition to feeling like an asshole for believing a liar I feel a little lonely being shunned by the folks who were sucked into her world. Which is why I was so happy when Mr. G. came home from work with a giant box. I assumed he had a gift for me (shut up you might have thought so too). In reality he had something better than a gift for me.

“What’s in the box?” I asked him.

“An Emmy.” He said, sitting down to remove his shoes.

“Oh how fun, can we open it?” I asked, knowing that my husband has won several Emmys but since I never go to his office I haven’t actually seen one in real life.

“No, it’s for Loren.” He began, “Do you think you can give it to him or Anna tomorrow?” And then I danced around the house a little bit because I was going to get to deliver an Emmy.

I made a move to my iPhone so I could text Anna and make a plan and to say “OMG this is Loren’s first Emmy and I know there are going to be so many more because he’s SO INCREDIBLY TALENTED….” but I was interrupted by Mr. G. telling me that Loren didn’t know he’d won. So I texted Anna that I needed to see her in the morning and told the kids the fabulous secret, because everyone knows that kids can keep secrets, right? Anna and I would meet behind the school after dropping them off and I would bring her something.

This morning I got out of the car to bring Anna the giant box and she said, “Now I’m so curious what this is.” I told her it was something wonderful. She asked if it was from me or from Mr. G., I said it was from him. He face lit up, “Is it something from the Steelers?”

“It’s that awesome.”

Fifteen minutes later Anna texted me:

Wait. Is this real?

I swear I was so incredibly happy when Anna tweeted this.

This morning I was an Emmy Presenter. What did you do?

He’s between homes at the moment and has an infectious laugh. I’m experimenting with photography but I think I’m still better with words. I took 600 pictures today. I’m uploading them slowly here.