Enchanting Elephant Girl

Jane Devin has written a book. It is without a doubt the best book I’ve read in at least a year. I’ve not read the ending so I wouldn’t be able to tell you if it’s one of my top five, but assuming that Jane nailed the ending it will be. You see, I can’t finish the book slowly enough, let me explain. In January I came across a post titled Snooki Makes Me Want to Off Myself: My Rant About Simon & Schuster Dipping Into the Celebrity Cesspool. I’m …

Robert Pattinson Never Read Water for Elephants

I don’t know why I care, but I do. I loved the book Water for Elephants and I loved the movie in spite of Pattinson’s sub-par performance. I just watched Robert Pattinson on the Jimmy Kimmel show and Jimmy asked Pattinson why the movie was called Water for Elephants, and he replied with, “I don’t know.” You know why he didn’t know? Because the movie never addresses what the movie does, that no one actually brings water to elephants, you have to bring the elephants to water. Elephants require too …

Water for Elephants is Such a Good Movie that Robert Pattinson Can’t Ruin it

I took two twelve year old girls to see Water for Elephants. They say it’s the best movie they’ve ever seen. To be fair they haven’t seen many movies and they thought Eclipse was a good movie, they are not to be trusted. I read Water for Elephants and like most bibliophiles I seldom enjoy seeing a movie after having read the book. I wanted to see this because I knew that the backdrop of a prohibition era circus was bound to be visually arresting. The movie did not fail …

Kenmore Elite Ultra Wash Dishwasher with Touchscreen

I was going to title this post Kenmore Elite Dishwasher Review, but that wouldn’t be fair. Y’all know perfectly well that this isn’t a review. Everyone who knows me knows that I’ve been ogling the Kenmore Elite Appliances over the last year and that I’d asked (perhaps begged?) for an Ultra Wash dishwasher to share with y’all. I wanted this dishwasher because it has a touchscreen, and that’s all I wanted. I knew it was a $2,000 dishwasher so I assumed it would actually get my dishes clean (unlike my …

Hoodwinked Too Review

I like movies without plots. It’s horrible, but I have a short attention span and movies where the plot is secondary to pop culture jokes, irony, 3D experiences and fart jokes appeal to me. My kids too. Hoodwinked Too was a fun 3D movie ostensibly about the Happily Ever After Agency and how a bunch of Fairy Tales Heroes defeat the villains. The kids and I missed the first 5 minutes or so, and I meant to find out how it began. When we found out the beginning we all …