Mommy bloggers don’t do it for the money. How do I know that? Uh, becuase there is no money in it.
Let me tell you a little about what it is to be a Stay at home mother, stage by stage:
Pregnancy: For many women, it’s the first time in their life that they haven’t been the pretty girl in the room. The miracle of life includes exhaustion, loss of privacy, of pride, hormone surges and the inability to anything quickly. For some women it’s wonderful, trust me, they aren’t blogging.
Infancy: You are tired, you are someones mother but they don’t call you mother. The whole world calls you mother, it’s humiliating. You try and remember who you used to be and find that it’s near impossible. You see yourself in a three way mirror and you are mortified, but too tired to go to the gym. Women not experiencing some or all of this don’t blog.
Toddlerhood: You are, again, lonely and tired. You speak in a squeaky voice and your Mommy and Me teacher is your new hero. All you want is a poopie in the potty couple with an inside voice. This phase seems like it will never end and you resent the hell out of the working mother down the street, because she gets to talk to grown ups with real jobs.
School Aged: You’re back at the gym, and perhaps working a little. You have a hobby and a book club and you’re been suckered into sitting on the PTA board even though it means everyone now hates you. You are panicking because you didn’t graduate from an Ivy league school and you realize now that your children are doomed to mediocrity. What sort of horrible mother are you?
And so it goes.
So, PR people, when you email a mommy blogger about your great new product and send what is clearly a form letter it’s okay. Just don’t pretend like you read the blog, when clearly you haven’t. If we like your product, we’ll take one and talk about it. When you take a little time (minutes really) and say something like, “Hey Jessica, funny stuff there. Even though you spend too much time talking about vaginas, you’ve got a set. I like your tone…” Something, anything, just don’t pitch me food industry shit, because y’all know deep in your souls that food should not be industrialized. Be kind though, Mommies blog because they need a community. Not enough of us get to stay home so we’re isolated and we’re tired of using our inside voices.
Tell me who owns the company. If WalMart wanted me to talk about their company’s line of clothing and I loved it I’d probably say so, but if I hated it I’d also tell you. Here’s the thing, and don’t be scared, if you rep a couple of chicks from Hackensack that have a brand new line of jewelry and I think it belongs on Mrs. Roper, guess what I’ll say? Nothing. Yeah, because the idea of bashing a small business is horrible to me, so take a chance on us, there is The Sisterhood.
Send a sample. Recently I got a jar of blueberry jam that made me swoon. The kids went nuts and I wrote the best review I knew how. Guess what? The review isn’t worth anything unless it gets Stumbled, posted to Facebook, Dugg, Hugged or Kirtsy‘d. Do Something. Otherwise it’s just words that no one will read, and you’ve basically sent a gift for no reason. If you can, send an honorarium, I will promote the shit out of a product I like when I’d paid.
Stay in touch. Make me like you, Publicist lady/dude. You don’t have to be my best friend, you don’t even need to be a friend, you should be a name I remember so that the buzz can be ongoing. Remind me to mention that you’ve always been BPA free. Send me a note with your monthly specials so that I can pass coupon codes along to my readers. I want to keep my old posts alive just as much as you do.
Don’t forget my original advice, Email, Send and Pimp. You can read that full article here. Here’s a little note about Social Media.
