Fat Acceptance is Bullshit

I’m tired of hearing people equating obesity with race, hence the discrimination. I can’t carry my 7 year old on my back all day long and still have a good quality day. He’s 50 pounds or so. Many of you “fat acceptance” bloggers have lots more than 50 pounds on you. Stop pretending it’s okay. You are dying and some of you are killing your kids. That has me irate. It’s got to suck to be morbidly obese. I can’t imagine laboring to get out of bed, oh, wait I …

Bad Mommies are the Only Ones Worth Knowing

If you’re like me you’ve met a perfect mother. She’s infallible, never curses, never raises her voice, always cooks a healthy dinner and scares the snot outta ya. Why? Because it’s untenable. We all know that Perfect Mommy will snap, and when she does I don’t want to be there. Besides the loneliness of having infant children I suspect that the secret badness of the Mommy business is what brings us to our computers. Recently I visited a sibling cousin family member¬†friend (who wishes to remain anonymous) and we were …

It’s Just Motherhood

You’re taking it all too seriously and your children are weird. I know you quit your job as a doctor/lawyer/Indian chief but I promise you that if you take a breath and relax a little you might have some fun. This is parenting. You are supposed to make mistakes. You are NOT supposed to start saving for Yale when they are in diapers. Why? Because they might want to be a plumber. And that would be cool.

Renato From Central Parking Systems

Every so often you’ll find a person who is perfectly suited for his/her job. This morning FedEx delivered my car key with a personal check from Renato the valet manager. It’s made out to me for a few dollars more than what I actually spent. I hope that Renato will be reimbursed 100% for this. I’ll hope and pray that he’s soon anointed King of all Valets. Thank you Renato for making me whole. Interesting that you are not a Sheraton employee. Overqualified, most likely.