Caffeine Addiction is not Adorable

07.8.11

I get that you love your morning coffee. I used to love mine, and then I needed mine, and then I got the flu a few years ago and I didn’t leave my bedroom for four days. I had a hideous headache and a blazing fever. I’m not sure if the headache was from the flu or the caffeine withdrawls. I just know it was awful.

I really resent Starbucks, Peets and the McCoffees of America making coffee flavored milkshakes and getting my kids in the door. Jane is 12 and I had to sit down with her and her friends and explain to them that caffeine dehydrates you and is addicting. I told them about how people can’t function without their coffee and we think it’s cute and funny but really it’s not. It’s a chemical that takes control of your body.

I told them that caffeine is a total assault on your skin (they don’t care that it’s your body’s largest organ, they just know you can SEE it). I showed them all the brown teeth that coffee drinkers have and then I showed them this.

$3 x 365 = $1,095

I told them about caffeine and bone loss, and that their bodies are growing so it’s particularly important to care for growing bones.

I get that coffee is the socially acceptable addiction. I understand that people like to meet for a cup of it.

I just want to be very very sure that my kids are aware that a banana in the morning will give them more energy than a cup of caffeine.