It’s My 14th Anniversary and the Only Man Fucking Me is Jerry Brown

06.29.11

Jerry Brown Beats the Hell out of California

Today is my 14th anniversay and my husband is in New York on business. I was kind of bummed about being alone on our anniversary but we spent last weekend in a resort so plush that I didn’t think I’d have the ability to be bugged about anything for a year.

Until this. You see in the next few days Jerry Brown is poised to sign  the Affiliate Nexus Tax and 2 related nexus bills: AB 153, AB 155 and SB 234. They will go into effect immediately upon signing, and he must sign before July 1st, 2011.

These bills would require bloggers like me (and you) to collect and pay sales tax on purchases made through the ads on our site. These absolute idiots who prance around our capitol with not one shred of business sense believe that collecting these miniscule taxes will somehow right our budget.

Not only will the sales taxes not be collected, but publishers and businesspeople will (rightly) continue to flee California and set up shop in states where businesses aren’t cuckolded. If Jerry Brown and his compatriots were reasonable and actually interested in balancing the budget AB 153, AB 155 and SB 234 wouldn’t get that silly rubber stamp. Instead they would reduce small business taxes in our state and put people to work.

I get that Best Buy, Target and Walmart don’t like businesses like Amazon and eBay existing, but the reality is that businesses like Amazon and eBay give a lot of opportunities to a lot of small businesses.

So thanks Jerry, it’s an awesome anniversary. I feel like I’ve been fucked now.

A letter from Amazon:

Hello,


For well over a decade, the Amazon Associates Program has worked with thousands of California residents. Unfortunately, a potential new law that may be signed by Governor Brown compels us to terminate this program for California-based participants. It specifically imposes the collection of taxes from consumers on sales by online retailers – including but not limited to those referred by California-based marketing affiliates like you – even if those retailers have no physical presence in the state.

We oppose this bill because it is unconstitutional and counterproductive. It is supported by big-box retailers, most of which are based outside California, that seek to harm the affiliate advertising programs of their competitors. Similar legislation in other states has led to job and income losses, and little, if any, new tax revenue. We deeply regret that we must take this action.

As a result, we will terminate contracts with all California residents that are participants in the Amazon Associates Program as of the date (if any) that the California law becomes effective. We will send a follow-up notice to you confirming the termination date if the California law is enacted. In the event that the California law does not become effective before September 30, 2011, we withdraw this notice. As of the termination date, California residents will no longer receive advertising fees for sales referred to Amazon.com, Endless.com, MYHABIT.COM or SmallParts.com. Please be assured that all qualifying advertising fees earned on or before the termination date will be processed and paid in full in accordance with the regular payment schedule.

You are receiving this email because our records indicate that you are a resident of California. If you are not currently a resident of California, or if you are relocating to another state in the near future, you can manage the details of your Associates account here. And if you relocate to another state in the near future please contact us for reinstatement into the Amazon Associates Program.

To avoid confusion, we would like to clarify that this development will only impact our ability to offer the Associates Program to California residents and will not affect their ability to purchase from Amazon.com, Endless.com, MYHABIT.COM or SmallParts.com.

We have enjoyed working with you and other California-based participants in the Amazon Associates Program and, if this situation is rectified, would very much welcome the opportunity to re-open our Associates Program to California residents. We are also working on alternative ways to help California residents monetize their websites and we will be sure to contact you when these become available.


Regards,

The Amazon Associates Team

The Kids Win. Sort of #AmazonFail

11.10.10

I just hung up the phone with Amazon, when I’d given them the AIN number B0049U4CF6, the lady got overly nice and said, “we have stopped selling this electronic book.” She went on to say things like, “We are working on ways to get the whole thing off our site.” and I got lightheaded and giddy when she said, “Rest assured nothing like this will happen again.”

So here I am back to loving Amazon when someone sends me this page marked “preteen”

http://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/search/ref=a9_sc_1?rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acandy+doll&keywords=candy+doll&ie=UTF8&qid=1289452006

Don’t look if you have a daughter my age. It’s hard to see the Internet through tears.

I suppose much like Facebook, Amazon is a site I will continue to use, but not trust.

If you want to buy a nice book, I’ve written a chapter in one. Buy two, one for you, and one for a friend.

#AmazonFail and the Sale of Pedophilia Guidebooks

11.10.10

If you’re seeing #AmazonFail on twitter today it’s probably because they are selling this book.

Yes. Really.

Amazon has also released a statement that says in part:

“Amazon believes it is censorship not to sell certain books simply because we or others believe their message is objectionable. Amazon does not support or promote hatred or criminal acts, however, we do support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions.”

Which is fascinating, except when I go to their support forums I see this:

Content Guidelines

Titles sold through the Digital Text Platform Program must follow our content policy and guidelines, detailed below. Publishers are expected to conduct proper research to ensure that the Titles sold through the Digital Text Platform Program are in compliance with all local, state, national, and international laws. If Amazon Digital Services, Inc. determines that the content of a Title is prohibited, we may summarily remove or alter it without returning any fees. Amazon Digital Services, Inc. reserves the right to make judgments about whether or not content is appropriate.Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with some examples of prohibited content:

Pornography
Pornography and hard-core material that depicts graphic sexual acts.

Offensive Material
What we deem offensive is probably about what you would expect. Amazon Digital Services, Inc. reserves the right to determine the appropriateness of Titles sold on our site.

Illegal Items
Titles sold through the Digital Text Platform Program must adhere to all applicable laws. Some Titles that may not be sold include any Titles which may lead to the production of an illegal item or illegal activity.

Perhaps someone at Amazon want to enlighten me and let me know when an adult fucking a child isn’t illegal?

On a very personal level I really don’t want to boycott Amazon, because I have a wonderful book for sale there right now that is written to support a fabulous nonprofit. If you decided to boycott Amazon, you can buy a digital copy of the book here.

If you’re looking for Amazon’s 800 number it is (800) 201-7575 or (866) 216-1072.

At a minimum all of us moms should not be buying toys from Amazon. I don’t think they should be able to abuse our kids and profit from them all at once.

UPDATED: I hear some whisperings that this book is a spoof. Assuming that to be true (I’ve not read it) I’m still left wondering how it doesn’t violate their very own Content Guidelines. We are clearly looking at criminal activity.
UPDATE: The bravest blogger in the world has bought the book. It is absolutely a manual for raping children. Proceed at your own risk.

Update: more text is found at TechCrunch, do NOT read this if you think it will give you nightmares. Whatever it is you are imagining, it’s in the book.