Chevy, Twinkies and Cockroaches?


I hate the Chevy and Ford rivalry. I mean everyone knows that I’m polyamorous when it comes to automobiles. I love them all.

This Super Bowl Commercial makes me giggle. It’s a fantastic concept but it takes a hard swipe at Ford and features Hostess Twinkies.

GM and Hostess have something in common, right? Bankruptcy anyone?

Goldberg and Gottlieb: Not a Law Firm


If Uncle Louie ever utters the phrase, “I’ve got an idea.” You’ll probably end up in the middle of a fantastic project, with your head spinning a little bit.

If you read today’s Sachem Patch, you’ll know that I’m having a car built by Demented Customs. Not just any car though, a Mom Car.

My regular readers are well aware of my love affair with the automobile, which competes only with my love affair with technology. It’s time that I take these two passions of mine and bundle them.

I’m currently trying to locate a Ford Country Squire from the mid 7o’s, a Chevy Impala (1973 is my favorite year) or a Buick Estate wagon. If it’s a Ford it would preferably a year where there is a third row pop up back seat. I’d prefer to find one from 1975-1978 as I’m a fan of the hidden headlights. I’m open to other models as well, but the point is to locate a mid-70 station wagon that’s in decent condition.

Ford Country Squire

Here’s where it gets fun, take a look at some of the work Demented Customs is doing.

In addition to making a Chevelle beautiful (every car is beautiful in it’s own way) they put in a new engine and blower, bringing the car to 650 hp. I’m not even sure that’s legal.

In order to understand what 650 hp looks like take a look at the Porsche 997 GT2, it has 523 hp at 6500 rpm, and a top speed of 204. Demented built a beast.

In any event, the boys at Demented are willing to take my station wagon fantasies to this same crazy level. In addition to making my wagon fast and beautiful, they are committed to adding the kind of technology that every family needs. We are currently discussion how to add:

  • tablet computers for the rear seat passengers
  • a wifi hotspot
  • a vacuum (this is actually non negotiable, I need one)
  • food and drink compartments that aren’t quite cupholders (I’m only looking at 70’s cars)
  • airbags and other safety items

I’m pinching myself that everyone’s willing to go along with this wacky idea. What’s most amazing is the we’ll have the support of Goldberg (yes the Bill Goldberg of Garage Mahal), and my Mommy Mobile will ultimately make it’s way to the Barrett-Jackson auto auction to raise money for charity.

But I’m totally driving it first.

I’m getting really excited about this, and I hope to locate a car in the next few weeks so we can get the ball rolling. Up until now, we’ve been trying to find a way to make it all happen.

Look for lots of video about the making of my first custom car. I can’t wait to share this adventure with you guys.

We Got the Chevy Cruze Sideways


I just ran home from Main Street in Motion so that I could pop off a quick post for y’all.


If you’re buying a car Main Street in Motion is brilliant because you can test drive (short but fun drives) two or three comparable cars one after the other. When you’re at Auto Row running from one dealership to the next it’s sometimes hard to remember what features you enjoyed about which car. With this setup you hop from one car to the other in minimal time.

I’ll post pictures to Flickr later this evening, but I drove a few cars:

Chevy Cruze: this is a compact car that grew a set of balls pistons. I hadn’t really planned on driving it, because I was too busy salivating over the Camaros, but one of the fine ladies at GM suggested we try it, and I’m pretty sure she lived to regret that. The car is small, not a rocketship, but not slow either. It handled a 140 degree turn at about 40 miles an hour beautifully. The car hugs the road in a way I hadn’t expected for a car in that class. Oh, it also has doodads. Doodads are important (like USB hubs and paddle shifters). It was the big surprise of the day.

Impala: It’s a beast. I’m going to do a little research, I want to know what engine they jammed in there.

Camaro SS: I want. I love. I want. I love. I want.  Review over. (it’s fast and luxurious, like ridiculously so)

Corvette GS Convertible: My lap around the track was so fast I think we time traveled. It handles exquisitely, as Corvette’s are known to do.

Volt: I still think it’s fabulous. It’s not a performance car, but it’s a high torque car with limited drag. Driving it at 40 mph is an absolute joy, and it handles curves well.

If you decide to to to Main Street in Motion (this weekend in Los Angeles, coming to other locations all through 2011) there are a few things you should know.

  • Register ahead of time if possible.
  • Test drives are limited to folks 18 and up.
  • Lines will be long for the performance cars
  • Getting there early is probably a good plan
  • The track is short. Floor it off the line. You won’t regret it.
  • Don’t brake in a turn, speed up, it’s fun
  • They had hot dogs, sandwiches, and drinks. You really can hang out there all day
  • If you’re bringing kids, make sure you have two adults so you can take turns driving
Red Chevy Volt

Red Chevy Volt

Red Chevrolet Corvette

Red Chevrolet Corvette

LA Auto Show


A super quick update.

I made it to the Los Angeles Auto show today and I was really happy to see so many old friends. Michelle and I were there for the unveiling of the new Porsche Boxster and the Ford Fiesta.

Mr. G and I are car shopping this year for two new cars. We’ve got a combined budget that is very large, and I’m okay with one fancy schmancy car and one modest one. The Boxster was at the top of my list for my husband, but the 2010 version just got knocked off the list. At $62,000 the Boxster is 173 pounds lighter than last year. Here’s why:

  • No inside door handles
  • No air conditioning
  • Manual convertible roof
  • No rear window visibility when the roof is up
  • No pushbutton ignition

It’s fast and light, I get that, from the outside it’s stunning with a very retro feel. Unfortunately it’s just a stripped down Porsche. I know the economy is bad, but if I want a discount Porsche I’d just buy a used 911. The Panamera is amazing, but it only seats 4, and I really need a car that seats 5.

So it’s a pass on the Boxster because I need amenities, like door handles.

I did like most of the Lincolns, the Chevy Volt, there’s a Honda I adore, and ooh to the Aston Martins. Check the Whrrl Story, the 2010 cars are beautiful and there are a lot of good choices.

The reality is that I’ll probably spend the next few months driving these cars and buy the same two BMW’s in different shades of gray. Pitiful really.

Powered by Whrrl

I. Am. Exhausted.


This morning I was up at 6.30 to shower. OhMyGawd a shower? You’re thinking. Yeah, usually I roll outta bed at 7, bring the kids to school in sweats at 7.45 and then work out before getting ready to face the day at the lovely hour of 11am.

I suppose I should thank my husband a little more heartily for that.

This morning I had to get up, shower, blow dry and put on a skirt not meant for tennis in order to go to the LA Auto Show. Why? I don’t know. What was I thinking?

I really wanted to go last night because I’m a total sucker for a soldier and I’d heard that Ford was giving a 2010 Mustang to a soldier. I didn’t get there last night, but I did see the Mustang reveal today and it was incredibly dramatic and beautiful. I drove a Flex and learned a ton about driving.

The Ford training guy told me I’m a hooker and tomorrow I’ll tell you why I am. It’s actually kinda funny. The ecodriving was wonderful and if you could spend a whole day doing it; I’d recommend it to anyone. That’s not really the point today. After Ford and ecodriving and a little Lexus I got tired and hungry and I just wanted to be with my kids. As I was leaving there was a tide of suits exiting the Porsche room and I realized they’d just had their reveal. I think we all know what that means.

Food. Swanky food.

So I took a few pictures, pretended to care about super expensive fast cars (Flex v. Fusion was more compelling for this blogger) and had a sandwich along with some asparagus wrapped in smoked salmon on tiny potato pancakes topped with a dollop of light hollandaise, gorgeous watermelon, a glass of white wine and a rest.

Ah, luxury.

Someone whispered in my ear that Ferrari had the best coffee in the place. So I followed my nose and landed a steamy black cup of espresso. I sat down on a swanky white sofa and saw Derek Bell. Yes! The Derek Bell, the 5 time champion at Le Mans, the freakin’ driver for Ferrari.

Jessica Gottlieb Derek Bell

Jessica Gottlieb Derek Bell

How cool is it for him when a middle aged housewife says, “Oh my gawd I grew up on you!” (Yeah I know, bad hair day, bags under my eyes – good thing I’m a blogger not an actress)

Of course I sat down next to his son Justin Bell, who is an actual active racer, and should be a bigger draw. Sorry Justin, I didn’t grow up watching you. I did manage to sit next to him though and behave like a starstruck child in front of his father. Mr. Bell was ever the gentleman and said something to the effect of, “in Britain they just sort of stare at you, they don’t whip cameras out of their handbags.” Oh, those poor British girls, it’s unlikely they’ll ever have a picture.

Keeping in mind that everything I need to know, I’ve learned on Seinfeld; I decided to leave on a high note.

Right out of downtown Los Angeles and into rush hour traffic. Thank goodness the Eco Guy’s words were fresh in my mind. I went home and was stunned to see how relaxing it could be to concentrate on not revving the engine, and ignore the fact that I wanted to get home fast.

Kids, ophthalmologist, orthodontist, homework, hamburgers out with the kids, and guess what? I’m beat.

I came home and put these on a plate because ya’ know what? I’m getting in my fuzzy jammies and I’m not sharing. otherwise known as Heaven otherwise known as Heaven

I’m just that tired.