My Toes Can Go Eff Themselves

My toes hurt every morning. They don’t hurt a little bit, they hurt like spikes have been driven into them. They’re just toes, one might say. Every morning when I lay in bed and open my eyes I feel fine. I swing sideways on the bed and stand up. Still fine. I take one step forward and now my toes are involved, it’s like childbirth. There’s a pain that starts in the joints and radiates up my spine ending in that horrible place between your shoulder blades. This is coupled …

Highs and Lows

The past few days have been full of the highest highs and the lowest lows. My daughter turned thirteen, she is the light of our lives, delighting me, my husband and our son. Jane has brought us nothing but joy for thirteen years. I wouldn’t know how to be angry with her for an extended time. On Jane’s birthday we had a special treat, Mama Lucy, Leah, Gideon, Stacey and Sanjay showed up for a three day visit. We can’t quite figure out a way to get us all to …

Neighborhoods, Deaths and Fear

This week our neighbor died. We used to live exactly across the street from him but now we live around the corner. He was one of the first people to know our children and I had the privilege of watching his children turn into adults. He daughter was our babysitter, and his son was the produce manager at my local market, his wife teaches at the kids’ school and it brings me joy to see her each day. During the last eleven years I looked forward to bumping into my …

Someone I Love has Alzheimers

I think with this horrible disease there are many small deaths. There’s the death of hope, and then the gradual death of independence, now there’s the death of midlife memory and soon there will be more steps. Parts of it used to be funny because they knew they were forgetting and they were still very happy. It sort of stopped being funny, because you all have to giggle together or it’s just cruel. Now it’s just very upsetting and it shatters my faith.

Writing Our Own Obituaries

This morning I went hiking with another blogger and we both lamented the amount of time blogging takes from life. I have no great need to write. I could walk away from writing at any time, or so I tell myself. She has a need to connect and to create. I have a need for solitude, blogging is good for solitude. I want to be with my friends and my family. I don’t necessarily want new friends, I’m cautious that way. Then this morning Drew shared this link with me. …