Rest Assured I Made Sure The Danes Can Hate America

This morning I was talking to a group of Danish Journalists and I did a great job of making them feel superior. First off I wore a dark brown belt that was frayed along with a shirt that was too pink and too tight. I’d hoped that my jacket would cover the belly fat, but according to Sadistic Sandy (the personal trainer who I will introduce y’all to later) belly fat means that you’re eating too much, not that you’re dressing wrong. Denmark is supposed to be the happiest country …

Jessica Beagley: Mommy Confessions and Dr. Phil

On November 17th my phone rang, and I answered it. ME: This is Jessica CALLER: Why do you think you can abuse children? ME: What? CALLER: Were you on the Dr Phil show? ME: Yes, several times, but I never lay a hand on my children. Who are you. CALLER: I’m a reporter. ME: With what outlet? CALLER: My local news. I want to know why you think it’s okay to put hotsauce in your son’s mouth and make him take cold showers. ME: Lady, I have no idea what …

Dr. Phil

Yes, I’m on the show tomorrow. Please set your DVR, or better yet, watch live. That’s me looking tired. TV is exhausting.

An Amazing Day

Today I was lucky enough to film yet another Dr. Phil episode. I will be sure and update everyone about the air date, and when it does air I’ll give you a little more detail. I am absolutely exhausted, so I want to tell y’all a few quick things. Dr. Phil and his staff are consistently lovely. Robin Mc Graw is otherworldly, when I think of a Southern Belle I think of a woman like her. Strong and solid, no bullshit, and OhMyGawd is she put together. I think the …

Guilty Moms And Dr Phil

Later today I’ll see the Dr. Phil show that I taped back in August, some of you have already seen it. I’d like to address a few quick questions while my sick son is still asleep. There seems to be some recurring themes, so let’s just get it all out there. She’s so judgmental! Doesn’t she read the bible? No, I’m Jewish, that’s not my book. We’re cool with using judgment, discretion and our best thinking caps. You don’t know my situation, I have to work. Well, I said very …