June 4, 2012 can go Fu¢k Itself

The morning started fine enough. I did a little laundry, wrote a few things, and got dressed to go meet some folks and contribute to a video. My hair wasn’t great and I have total raccoon eyes because a few minutes of sun turns me red on the nose and brown all over the rest of me. I grabbed the mail on the way out of the house and got a notice that our homeowner’s insurance was cancelled because we have a trampoline and a tree needs trimming. Here is a pictures …

I Was Late Everywhere Yesterday

Yesterday was supposed to be a busy day. I was supposed to be taping a video with a production company at 9.30 in the morning. This would have meant that I was going to have to get up at 6.30 so that I could look and smell good before getting the kids off to school. My friend Yvonne was having a Healthy Child Healthy World event at her house from 10 to 12 and I figured I’d just get there as quickly as I could and maybe have an hour …

Do You See the Scrotum?

My stepbrother texted me last night to let me know that he’d sent Alexander a text saying “keep it clean”. I was out buying the perfect silk blouse so I couldn’t exactly be bothered with parenting at the time. When I got home I asked Alexander for his cell phone. He looked sheepish handing it to me and we went through the text messages together. Most of the text messages were fine, funny even. There were links to chicken butt pictures. And then there was a note to his cousin …

Other Women Would Ask Their Mother Why She Needs a Psychic

Moms are funny and mine is no exception. I’m not sure if I told you about the time she bought a house at a seance, or about the time that they brought a healer in to talk to the cat to ask her how she felt. The house was a good house but the cat felt like shit because she was 20 years old and they mercifully put her to sleep some time after that cat chat. I also won’t tell you about the time that Mom was going to …

Personally Blogging

I haven’t written much about the homestead because it would approach book length and I wouldn’t necessarily come out of it looking very good. Jane’s English assignments look quite a bit like Chinese to me, there are prepositional phrases that behave as bodyguards so that we can’t find the predicate. I’m pretty sure there’s a subject but then there’s some wacky article that’s clearly only there to confuse everyone so we have no way of knowing if it’s singular or plural because the article isn’t exactly next to the subject. I have degrees in …