Have you ever gone outside in shorts and felt the breeze in your leg hairs? For a moment it’s lovely (much like I remember wetting the bed would be warm) and then you think Good Gawd I’ve turned into an ape! So you run inside and shave your legs? Yeah, me neither.
I love my roseacea. It makes it medically necessary for me to get laser surgery a few times a quarter year, which just happens to clear up a few small lines.
I was on the phone with my brilliant brother when he said to me do not click on the link in the poster. Link? what link? The conversation went just like this: BROTHER: Remember that video I sent you with all the dumb people? ME: Yeah. BROTHER: Well this guy made an incredible poster and he edited the video and inserted it so that all those folks would click the link. ME: What link? BROTHER: The link in the poster I sent you. ME: What poster? BROTHER: Okay, hold on …
My Australian friend Ian is ridiculously charming and polite. Oftentimes after I’ve spoken he’ll say, “Jessica, you’re a breath of fresh air.” I’m fairly certain that in American English that translates to, “Jessica, do you think you could shut the fuck up?” I confess every Friday, but you can buy the book.
Sometimes I say that just so you’ll get angry. It makes me giggle when it’s so easy.