My undergraduate degree is in the sciences because I didn’t want to have to write any essays.
It pains me to admit to all of them, so I’ll do it here, I’ll do it once, and I’ll humbly ask you to mock me behind my back. At the party, to Karen Samuels when she told me she was in Law Review with Obama: Oh wow, I didn’t know you’re a lawyer. Where did you go to law school? At Consumer Reports when meeting Dr. Val: [checking her up and down like a high school sophomore] Aren’t you a little bit pretty to be a doctor? Upon entering …
The only application I’ve ever purchased for my iPhone is iFart.
After Alexander was born I really needed something just for me. I thought of joining a book club, but I was embarassed as it seemed too cliche. Instead I got a Masters Degree that we all know I’ll never use.