Goldberg and Gottlieb: Not a Law Firm


If Uncle Louie ever utters the phrase, “I’ve got an idea.” You’ll probably end up in the middle of a fantastic project, with your head spinning a little bit.

If you read today’s Sachem Patch, you’ll know that I’m having a car built by Demented Customs. Not just any car though, a Mom Car.

My regular readers are well aware of my love affair with the automobile, which competes only with my love affair with technology. It’s time that I take these two passions of mine and bundle them.

I’m currently trying to locate a Ford Country Squire from the mid 7o’s, a Chevy Impala (1973 is my favorite year) or a Buick Estate wagon. If it’s a Ford it would preferably a year where there is a third row pop up back seat. I’d prefer to find one from 1975-1978 as I’m a fan of the hidden headlights. I’m open to other models as well, but the point is to locate a mid-70 station wagon that’s in decent condition.

Ford Country Squire

Here’s where it gets fun, take a look at some of the work Demented Customs is doing.

In addition to making a Chevelle beautiful (every car is beautiful in it’s own way) they put in a new engine and blower, bringing the car to 650 hp. I’m not even sure that’s legal.

In order to understand what 650 hp looks like take a look at the Porsche 997 GT2, it has 523 hp at 6500 rpm, and a top speed of 204. Demented built a beast.

In any event, the boys at Demented are willing to take my station wagon fantasies to this same crazy level. In addition to making my wagon fast and beautiful, they are committed to adding the kind of technology that every family needs. We are currently discussion how to add:

  • tablet computers for the rear seat passengers
  • a wifi hotspot
  • a vacuum (this is actually non negotiable, I need one)
  • food and drink compartments that aren’t quite cupholders (I’m only looking at 70’s cars)
  • airbags and other safety items

I’m pinching myself that everyone’s willing to go along with this wacky idea. What’s most amazing is the we’ll have the support of Goldberg (yes the Bill Goldberg of Garage Mahal), and my Mommy Mobile will ultimately make it’s way to the Barrett-Jackson auto auction to raise money for charity.

But I’m totally driving it first.

I’m getting really excited about this, and I hope to locate a car in the next few weeks so we can get the ball rolling. Up until now, we’ve been trying to find a way to make it all happen.

Look for lots of video about the making of my first custom car. I can’t wait to share this adventure with you guys.

We Got the Chevy Cruze Sideways


I just ran home from Main Street in Motion so that I could pop off a quick post for y’all.


If you’re buying a car Main Street in Motion is brilliant because you can test drive (short but fun drives) two or three comparable cars one after the other. When you’re at Auto Row running from one dealership to the next it’s sometimes hard to remember what features you enjoyed about which car. With this setup you hop from one car to the other in minimal time.

I’ll post pictures to Flickr later this evening, but I drove a few cars:

Chevy Cruze: this is a compact car that grew a set of balls pistons. I hadn’t really planned on driving it, because I was too busy salivating over the Camaros, but one of the fine ladies at GM suggested we try it, and I’m pretty sure she lived to regret that. The car is small, not a rocketship, but not slow either. It handled a 140 degree turn at about 40 miles an hour beautifully. The car hugs the road in a way I hadn’t expected for a car in that class. Oh, it also has doodads. Doodads are important (like USB hubs and paddle shifters). It was the big surprise of the day.

Impala: It’s a beast. I’m going to do a little research, I want to know what engine they jammed in there.

Camaro SS: I want. I love. I want. I love. I want.  Review over. (it’s fast and luxurious, like ridiculously so)

Corvette GS Convertible: My lap around the track was so fast I think we time traveled. It handles exquisitely, as Corvette’s are known to do.

Volt: I still think it’s fabulous. It’s not a performance car, but it’s a high torque car with limited drag. Driving it at 40 mph is an absolute joy, and it handles curves well.

If you decide to to to Main Street in Motion (this weekend in Los Angeles, coming to other locations all through 2011) there are a few things you should know.

  • Register ahead of time if possible.
  • Test drives are limited to folks 18 and up.
  • Lines will be long for the performance cars
  • Getting there early is probably a good plan
  • The track is short. Floor it off the line. You won’t regret it.
  • Don’t brake in a turn, speed up, it’s fun
  • They had hot dogs, sandwiches, and drinks. You really can hang out there all day
  • If you’re bringing kids, make sure you have two adults so you can take turns driving
Red Chevy Volt

Red Chevy Volt

Red Chevrolet Corvette

Red Chevrolet Corvette

Bail Them Out: Save Detroit


Right now my friend Liz is having a heart attack. Based on the post title she’s probably already walked away from the screen, but give me a minute y’all. I haven’t gone socialist on you.

I’m just really tired.

I was at the LA Auto show in 2008 and I had the pleasure of meeting Scott Monty. I’m not a Ford fan, per se, but I’ve owned them and I wouldn’t be opposed to having another if they were the best product for me, at the best price (and price includes convenience). In fact, part of me wants to own a Ford so I can go into a dealership and be all, “Yeah I know the dudes that pimp market these cars.” Also, they gave a 2010 Mustang to a soldier, and well, it was like a Hallmark Card. I’m easy that way.

GM then comes on the scene (and by scene I mean Twitter) and they’re saying stuff like, “If you want to see the bailout stimulus plan, we have it on our website.”

Here’s the glitch with Twitter. I’m asking questions as I’m reading, so at page 21 I read that there are alternate fuel plants in Brazil. Being me, I get pissed. Let the Brazilians bail them out.