My Toes Can Go Eff Themselves

My toes hurt every morning. They don’t hurt a little bit, they hurt like spikes have been driven into them. They’re just toes, one might say. Every morning when I lay in bed and open my eyes I feel fine. I swing sideways on the bed and stand up. Still fine. I take one step forward and now my toes are involved, it’s like childbirth. There’s a pain that starts in the joints and radiates up my spine ending in that horrible place between your shoulder blades. This is coupled …

Highs and Lows

The past few days have been full of the highest highs and the lowest lows. My daughter turned thirteen, she is the light of our lives, delighting me, my husband and our son. Jane has brought us nothing but joy for thirteen years. I wouldn’t know how to be angry with her for an extended time. On Jane’s birthday we had a special treat, Mama Lucy, Leah, Gideon, Stacey and Sanjay showed up for a three day visit. We can’t quite figure out a way to get us all to …

Exquisite Pain

I saw you at the party this week, and even though you smiled, you didn’t smile with your eyes. I know what it’s like. Because when someone we love is ailing it seems wrong that the world continues to exist. At the very least the parties should stop or pause and folks shouldn’t expect you to participate. But they do, so you go and you smile with your teeth, but sob alone at night, in the car or when a reflection takes you by surprise. I really need to let …

Housewife Over the Edge

Turn off the fucking lights when you leave the room. Oh, and while you’re at, get out of the same room that I’m in. For, like, a month. I’m on my last nerve. Two deaths in August, neither one old age. I Am More Pissed Off Than A Woman Should Ever Be I’m saving every bit of kindness I have for my children. May I recommend not driving near me?

Again

Only this time we’ve lost a mother and a wife in an automobile accident. My daughter is afraid. The kids start school Wednesday, 22 children with only 21 mothers.