Mom Will Decide How Jewish We Are

Last night we sat at Art’s Deli (see how Jewish we are), and talked about our family schedule for next week. The kids have their first day of school on Wednesday, but Thursday is Rosh Hashana. My husband, Jane and Alexander all groaned in chorus. “Do we have to stay home that day?” My husband asked. Notice that no one asked if we had to go to shul. We’re not good with shul (Temple). We haven’t belonged to one in the last few years. The one we left simply wasn’t …

Happy Hanukkah

The brisket is in the oven at a very low heat, I’m making latkes a bit later and decorating the house now. I kinda wish I could plop some hashbrowns on a plate and call it a day. I don’t know why, but I’m exhausted.

Thanksgiving

I’m exhausted this afternoon and it makes no sense at all. I didn’t even get out of bed until 8.30 this morning. Today we spent the middle of the day at the Farmer’s Market. I walked my kids through the same stalls I delighted in thirty some years ago. I’m just tired from five days of celebrating. We’ve cooked and cleaned as a family, we’ve shopped and jumped in leaves. We’ve had lunches out, visited dog rescues, played football, hemmed school pants and we’ve just sat around chattering. I’m tired …

It’s Good to be the X-Mas Jew

If you’re a Jew you intrinsically know the import of the Shabbat Goy. The Shabbat Goy buys your dog for a dollar and a handshake so that it can continue living in your home and eating traif. The Shabbat Goy, for another dollar, will buy all your Chametz before Pesach and sell it back to you at the end for the same dollar. The Shabbat Goy is an integral part of every Shul, and spoken about with a grin in every Jewish home. We are people of the book, and …

Feliz Navidad: And Don’t Forget The Prozac

It’s almost 10 and a little drizzly here in Los Angeles. My coffee is hot and my son sits shivering in front of the new Playstation we gave them for Chanukkah. My daughter and my husband sleep late and in a few moments I’ll wake them and ask them to get out of bed. I wont’ necessarily have something for them to do, but they should be upright with eyes open. They city is absurdly quiet and I remember just how much I hated living in rural Colorado all those …