A Question For The Lawyers

If I get a “no solicitors” sign and hang it on the gate out front, does that mean I get to shoot them on on my doorstep? Or maybe I have to wait for them to cross the threshold?

Mother Earth Can Kiss My Ass: Integrity Blows

For those of you unfamiliar with Little League, the season is over. We are now involved in what is known as “Fall Ball”. I don’t typically say “we” when it comes to children’s sports, but I assure you “we” are involved in fall ball. The kids play for a couple of hours each Sunday and the parents cheer and take stunning pictures of their little boys. Why? Because little boys in team uniforms are absolutely adorable, squishable and oooohhh yummy. Unless You are the only mother there whose child has …

Sometimes My Train of Thought Hits A Bump In The Road

My family loves sports. My husband loves Major League Baseball, as do my children. I love my family. Recently we were at a Dodger Game and I noticed something. I really am impressed by it, and if anyone from Major League Baseball would care to let me know, I’d be thrilled. I also have some questions about ironing. I noticed (with the Yankees in particular) that some of the players have a nice crease on their sleeves, while others don’t. How is that decided? Is it player preference? Do you …

No Espeake the English: Y Tambiem mi Espanol is terrible

Mid day Friday I borrowed Mom and Doc’s* urban assault vehicle truck so that I could buy an outdoor shed. I located exactly the shed I’d wanted on Craigslist and popped an email out to Gladys (the lady who listed it for sale). The emails were brief and to the point. At the appointed hour, with my Latina friend I hopped into the truck to retrieve my new (and cheap) shed. Trust me when I tell you that this is going somewhere and that the Latina description matters. I’d agreed …

Overheard: In my Sexy Voice

4pm Thursday Afternoon I call my husband’s office. ME: Hi, can I speak to him? ASSISTANT: Uh, I think he’s in a meeting. ME: It’s okay, I’ll be quick and I just need his input for something time sensitive. Hold music for a moment…. HIM: Hi honey. Is it important? [I can hear that I’m on speakerphone] ME: Uh, yeah, if you could just pick up the phone for a minute, it’s sort of personal. [I can hear him pick up the reciever] ME: I can make you regular chocolate …