Talking to My Husband About How I Look

I’ve done the unthinkable. I’ve shared my age and my weight in a public forum and I’ve lied about neither one. Earlier today my husband and I were out and about and we had the following conversation. MR. G: You look good. Are you feeling better? ME: How do I look good? MR. G: [smirking] You just look, you know, good. ME: Is there a specific part of me that looks good? MR. G: All of you [more smirking]. ME: Do my eyes look good? Maybe my lips? MR. G: …

Are You There G-d? It’s Me, Alexander

Last week when I was in the desert with the kids I took Alexander to the book store. My husband and I both want the kids to love to read, so we’ve flooded them with everything from comic books to hardcovers. We don’t care what they read, we just want them to enjoy it. Unfortunately, Alexander has been negative about book stores lately. As we pulled up in front of the store he moaned, “Barnes & Noble, I hate Barnes & Noble”. I told my son I wouldn’t buy him …

The Wall

I’ve picked him up from the airport. I love him, I’m so happy to see him. My body defied me. I’m a heap of exhaustion after eight days of heat wave and parenting. It’s been over 100 degrees for the past five days, and though I’m absolutely delighted that my husband is home, it’s not primarily that I want to be with him. It’s because I cannot stand one more solitary moment of being a single parent. I can’t break up fights, listen to music, entertain or cajole. I can’t …

Reentry

We’ve named it reentry. Much like atmospheric reentry there is a certain amount of risk. Now that we are twelve years into marriage and almost eleven years into parenting, we have a solution. I leave the house. When the kids were tiny his job took him away much more than it does now. There would be several weeks each spring where he’d be gone and then another few weeks following that where the days were so long, that all we’d see of him was his laundry. The locations changed but …

My Husband Has A Boss That’s Not Me

My husband is on a business trip with his boss. My Mother is on a pleasure trip with her husband. I am at home vacuuming the floorboards. In an incredibly sensitive moment my beloved late husband calls me. Apparently the four of them are having dinner somewhere swanky in London. Here is the entire conversation, word for word (need I remind you that I never exaggerate): HUSBAND: Hi honey, we’re all having a great time. ME: [unable to feign joy] great HUSBAND: So I’m with your Mom and Doc and …