Dear Really Nice Orthodontist

I’m sorry I vomited all over your office today. I noticed that you stopped petting me after the kibble and water and bile sprayed all over your hand. I do hope I’m still welcome there. Love, Junior

Personally Blogging

I haven’t written much about the homestead because it would approach book length and I wouldn’t necessarily come out of it looking very good. Jane’s English assignments look quite a bit like Chinese to me, there are prepositional phrases that behave as bodyguards so that we can’t find the predicate. I’m pretty sure there’s a subject but then there’s some wacky article that’s clearly only there to confuse everyone so we have no way of knowing if it’s singular or plural because the article isn’t exactly next to the subject. I have degrees in …