Bad Mommies are the Only Ones Worth Knowing

If you’re like me you’ve met a perfect mother. She’s infallible, never curses, never raises her voice, always cooks a healthy dinner and scares the snot outta ya. Why? Because it’s untenable. We all know that Perfect Mommy will snap, and when she does I don’t want to be there. Besides the loneliness of having infant children I suspect that the secret badness of the Mommy business is what brings us to our computers. Recently I visited a sibling cousin family member¬†friend (who wishes to remain anonymous) and we were …

It’s Just Motherhood

You’re taking it all too seriously and your children are weird. I know you quit your job as a doctor/lawyer/Indian chief but I promise you that if you take a breath and relax a little you might have some fun. This is parenting. You are supposed to make mistakes. You are NOT supposed to start saving for Yale when they are in diapers. Why? Because they might want to be a plumber. And that would be cool.

On Death and Dying and Doing it all Wrong

On my desk are sympathy cards. They’re blank because I can’t fill them in. I cannot bring myself to write: Dear Emily, I’m so sorry that you lost your mother in what should have been her best and strongest years. I’m so sad for you that you won’t have your mother there when you have children and that your father will grow old with someone else, or even alone. I cannot begin to tell you how much I love you and how blessed I am Because you are part of …

Tennis Anyone?

I’m off to the Brady Tennis Camp tomorrow. Before I leave there is a three page spreadsheet about various activities I’ve planned for the kids; basketball, playdates, birthday parties and a few rules. You know my mom was an elementary school teacher for 30 years. I’m sure she needs my notes. (to be fair, it was public school)

Gone Fishin’

7 years. 267 cracked toenails. 1,900 eye patches. 2.252 nights spent with bunny rabbit. 2 surgeries. 3 ER visits and only one was Mommy’s fault. 2 years of school, both of them wonderful. 2 summers of camp. 2,282 goodnight kisses. Immeasurable love.